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Rated: 13+ · Non-fiction · Biographical · #1822336
Some things stay, and some things go. Who knows what will remain?
Two people with history. A boy who knows no love, and doesn't even receive it from his own mother. He moves from town to town, a reluctant nomad. Finally, he and his mother settle down so that he may go to all of his high school years in the same town. He is imperfect, so he moves to right himself, even when there's nothing that should be changed. Still he is pure, trusting, and hopeful.
The other protagonist in this story is a girl. A girl with a lot of history, and all if it filled with the wretched stink of failure. She failed to find friends, she failed a grade, she failed to see evil when she stared it in the face, she failed in her relationships. She failed in her mother's eyes, and she failed to stand by her father. She is the remnants that were abandoned by fragments of men--one who threw words like bullets, one who drank his mind to death and smoked away his pain, one who could not speak the truth, and one whose hands carried out the will of his mind, no matter who got in the way. She is haunted by these men. They refuse to leave her.
These two characters meet. They meet through a quote from a song. She begins it, and he is there to finish it. From then on, he always there. Even before he is hers. His words are the ambrosia that keep her from the reality of her mortality. She loves him long before he loves her. But she puts it in a safe and locks it up, for fear of losing his friendship.
The friendship progresses, and she finds herself unable to leave him alone, sending him messages during class with wild abandon. Sometimes she gets so excited she drops her phone, and has to swoop down in a rush to grab it before the teacher sees. Every second it takes for him to reply is a rush.
They begin to spend more time together. On one such excursion, they get coffee, and she gets sick. He fills with honest concern, and he offers to ride his bike behind her as she walks home. He wants to know she will make it home safe. She tells him she's fine and walks alone. This is a fine choice, because in her driveway her mother waits, to tell her how she has failed again, to scream and fight for nothing.
After what seems like forever to her and just the right amount of time to him, they get together. At first, people make bets on how long it will last. Some people say it will last a week, others a month. Halfway through the first day, the girl is cornered by a former friend who tells her, "Ten bucks says he only wants you so he'll know he's gay." She declines the bet.
But that first day, when he walks her home, they enjoy each other's company. She loves the way he holds her hand without shame, because he is the first man to do so. They sit on her lawn, and kiss for the first time. Then they kiss again. Soon they can not stop, even though neither of them is very good at it. They get better in time, and progress into other things as the year gets older.
The summer is their time to thrive and thrive they do. As Autumn comes around, she falls back into her old habits of misery and almost loses her mind. He never leaves her side. He helps her even when she swears at him and tells him to leave. She knows he is too good for her. She doesn't understand why he stays. She loves him so much, she feels that if he left her she would perish. He loves her too much to let her go.
Their graduation approaches, as his mother talks of leaving again. He is not yet 18, and won't be more than half of another year. If his mother leaves, he is leaving too. Her heart fills with undeniable grief. He is the best thing that has ever happened to her and the best thing that ever will. This is where my story ends. I am that girl. There is no ending thus far. Life has no honest resolutions, only ones that cheat us or are cheated by us in order to bring us the things we desire. Carry on, wayward ones.
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