i am out

I am afraid to get out of this closet.  I am afraid to lose the fine mist of air that runs from the linear spaces of every wooden divisions of the door. I am afraid to step out and feel the coldness of the floor. I am afraid to twist the knob that wood free me from this space of comfort. My muscles tremble as I imagine the world outside this room, I just want to curb into this comfort and live like this forever.

Then he walked inside the room. He blocked the air that passes through the wooden division, but his scent endures my spirit to breathe more, though the air of suffocation fire back for I am just breathing in again and again. His voice beacons a hope for a sunrays on the window pane. I can see part of him from this side, through the wooden division. His voice convinces me to join him at the other side of the room and leave this comfort. But I blanketed myself with the baggage of clothes piled since I was born.. I smell the reek of the grubby past that stayed on the aged cloth.

I breathe air from him again, because the smell of the grubby past overpowers the fine mist of air that runs from the linear space. But his scent fades as I breathe deeper. His voice volumes down as I gasp from this suffocation.
I held the cold knob and gently opened it. My heart seeks for the scent of passion and my ears thirsts for his voice… I stepped out with my right foot on the cold ground. I felt a flow of electricity throughout my body; it was good, refreshingly good. I gently followed my left foot and feel the ground as the cold rush of energy waved within me.

It felt good, to be outside the closet, to not scarce myself with the mist of fresh air.

I looked in the mirror and saw a pale reflection of myself. Sad, confused and abandoned.

He was there, standing at my back. His whisper jittered enlightenment and passion. He unbuttoned my grubby clothes and changed anew.
The stench of the grimy, dark past faded its scent.  And the new fragrance emanated in the room.
The comfort of the hollow closet of my past stayed there. But now I am here, outside, breathing more than the fine mist of air that runs through the linear spaces of the wooden door, wearing new clothes that blanket my renewed spirit. I could not believe that there could be anything more than that comfort I felt before.

Out I am in the world, not caring about the judgment that people would give. Let my fresh clothes be tarnished with condemnation and fear of the unknown…

Tonight I will sleep in my bed, not inside the closet anymore, not with the dirty clothes on.

I will sleep beside him, unafraid of the dirt, of the stench and of the hollow darkness.

Because I know, tomorrow, he will be there, his scent and his voice would guide me through everything..

For with him I am strong, I am happy and I am free.