Why did it choose me?

Why me? Why this?
I don't understand.
How did I get into this anyways?
Why can't I get out of this?
Why can't it just leave?
Why won't it stop?
Will it ever stop?
I've been told it will.
Then when?
I want it to stop.
I need it to stop.
I can't hurt him.
"you're stronger than it"
Or so he tells me.
He tells me the urges will stay for awhile.
He can still get the urge himself.
I still get them.
The urges I mean.
He wishes he could take them away.
I feel horrible.
I have them and always fight him.
I push him away.
But he understands.
He stands by me.
He tries to help me.
He does help me.
Just not as much as he'd like.
Which makes him feel bad.
He can't take it away.
....
I can't make it go away....