Tomorrow

I look up into soft billowing clouds..... .. And from where I lie on my back in grass that is readying for sleep in winter, red and golden leaves dance around me.  I forget the pain that once was there..... Skin marked and soul branded for everyone to see … .all the things that time has melded unrelentingly into who I have become.  The wind swirls scents of burning wood with a crispness in the air and by closing my eyes I only wish to freeze time so I may try and preserve who I am in that moment; wanting to stop the forward movement until you are able to see me.  I am not some monster pieced back together with only the hands of time..... .. LOOK … If you really looked you would see..... ..  I am surviving because I love … … because with each change of season brings about lives that are changing... one ends as another begins..... With lines so fine that we don’t even realize we’ve stepped over them and before you know it...  Life has slipped far from where our fingers can reach.  Pieces torn from all of us … no way of going back to say I was sorry and no way of telling you how much I would have loved you .. .. ..  We mend... we heal … not with time but with love.

Seemingly so simple... yet you are afraid?  My pain has gone yet you are the one who holds on to it..... I’d like to think that you try to see it … feel it for all the things I’ve gone through... Not out of any guilt for having had a different life than mine.  Is it the only way for you to love me … the only way you know how?  For you … you cannot see anything more … so you hold my sorrow to show me that there is a place for me somewhere inside you … but that is all there is … all there is?… .. You know, soon the snow will fall … and today will turn to yesterday and say I am you now and that is all I am … My name is yesterday and because I could not see you I will never be tomorrow .. .. ..
It is quite easy to love me.  Just love me. .. ..