A Lifetime to Find Love

This story is like many others i believe. They all have an introduction and a plot and a ending but in this short book you will find out that what i had thought to believe is not at all true. As a first time writer i feel as i must tell you about these characters. First off we will start with the girl (she is the main character after all this is her life and how she met this boy who may or may not be her true love), This woman rather then girl is only age 22 some of you may think she has long time to find love but not to her she is quite different. She is thin and average height she has long dark blonde hair blue eyes and she smokes cigarettes she has been through a lot of trauma (you will find that out later) although she has been through a lot she still sees the good in people her family is poor and her name is Russia (this is not her real name of course) The man she is in love with is about her height a little bit heavy and comes from a well off family he is also 22 and his name is Luke (again not his real name).
They went to the same schools for high school she went to F.L for grade 10 and J.J. for 11 and 12
He went to J.J. for 10 and F.L. for 11 and 12
but they knew each other through mutual friends but thatch not how they met. Russia had joined a popular social network online and Luke had joined the same social network. They became friends because of the mutual friends that they had in common and because both of them had attended both schools just different years.
I guess the best way to start this story is from the beginning of Russia's life.

CHAPTER ONE: Russia Life
At the beginning everything was wonderful her father and mother were as happy as could be. At 2 she was placed in foster care because of a false report on her parents. At the age of 3 her repents had gotten a divorce. They had a successful business and a beautiful home. However they had moved her her mother and her 2 brothers who are older then her. Her sister had lived with her dad.
Now this is the part where it may be a little much to handle and children should not read this part. But now we will skip a few years. Russia is now 7 and in grade 2 she is happy she is healthy and loves school but she is withdrawn. Now how can she be happy and withdrawn? Simple happy to be at school but scared to talk she is more then just shy is told not to talk to anyone for the secret might get out. In the beginning it is fine her mothers boyfriend is nice sweet kind and caring but 6 months into the relationship he moves in. After he moves in is when the trouble begins. These troubles or problems will lasts for years but will leave an ever-lasting scar on the inside of Russia for rest of her life.
Russia was 7 just started at a new school This would be torture to her from 7 until she turned almost 14. Her moms boyfriend is mean and cruel and very abusive to Russia and her brothers. It is a daily thing. It would not matter if he had a good day or a bad or even a day off he would still beat each one of them everyday. It was most painful for Russia not because she was the youngest but because they would stand in a line and one by one they would go in the bedroom and get beat she would have to listen to the screaming and the smacking sounds it filled her with fear before she got hers. The beatings would be so bad sometimes that she could not sit but was forced to anyways. Other times it would be so bad that she would have to shower off the blood form her ass because the skin had broken. It would usually be the hand or the belt, he liked using the belt. Her mom would work late some nights and those were the nights she dreaded them the most they would get beat the most. He had them for 5 hours from the time Russia and her brothers got home to the time her mom did. He could beat them and he would . Sometimes Russia would escape the beatings because her brothers would take the beating instead beaus they did something wrong. Sometimes Russia and her brothers would tell their mom and the beatings would get worse when they did. They stopped telling because day her oldest brother wet sent to go live her dad. It soon became Russia her brother her mom and Him. The beatings seem to suddenly stop. Russia was about 9 now and the beatings stopped altogether for Russia for good, but her luck got worse instead of getting beaten she got molested. She was molested almost daily, she knew this was wrong and yet she continued because she knew if she did her brother would not get beaten. In the beginning she did not know it was done to her while she was sleeping, this is when her mom caught him and said stop that was it. Does that make her a bad mom? \Some would say yes but Russia knew that they had to stay because of their financial problems. Once Russia finally figure out what was happening she learned to suck it up and not say anything. She was praying more then before when she was little and getting beaten that he would leave. Her prayers were finally answered. He left one day never to return. Thieu financial problems were still there.
Her mom got a new boyfriend. This guy was different though. No beatings no physical pain. The pain was about to change and again Russia would have to endure this pain. She would have to act more adult like then before. She was only 14. She would break some rules because before she was never allowed out and she was caught. She thought "here we go another beating just get it over with" Her moms new boyfriend said "your grounded."
"Grounded" Russia thought. And asked "What is grounded?"
She was told, she thought "too easy" and it was was. Russia grew tired and said "instead of being grounded can i be beaten instead its quicker and easier" Russia was so use to the beatings it did not phase her. She was informed that no beatings would be taking place. This was getting harder every time she broke a rule. She was also having to but her own food and cook at this time in her life. Her mom's new boyfriend said they were too picky. Each of them were given $120 a month for food. As years passed Russia was tired of these circumstances and decided that she needed more money to eat better because Social Services said this was allowed and okay to do.
Russia turned 16 and got a job at a fast-food joint near by working late nights. Getting up for school early and volunteering once a week at an old age home it looks good on a resume Russia thought as she always was thinking of the future. She would still get grounded but she had ways she would say i have to work or i have to walk the dog or i have household chores. These were all true. As her mom and her mom's new boyfriend started to fight more and more her brothers moved out. She was to follow soon. She was doing drugs only seldom at this time. Unknown to her her life would take another turn soon. She was proud she had over $3000 in the bank and she gave $1000 to her brothers to help them out. She also had her cell which she paid for she was so happy with herself and she actually had friends. She was 17 and she quit volunteering ans stopped working and started to drink every weekend heavily and started doing more drugs. She moved in and left home finally she had fought with her mom about that many times and she would spend many countless nights at her brothers. On her 17th birthday she went to a friends house and she stayed there for a week straight drinking and being drunk at school and smoking dope almost daily. She finally got a boyfriend for the first time and on prom he had broken up with her she was sad and they continued to be friends just like they were before they started dating. Russia had failed English though so she and her best friend had to go back and re-do English.

CHAPTER 2: RUSSIA IS AN ADULT.
At 18 Russia had finished high school. She was living with her friend and they were working late nights at a warehouse. This is where Russia met her second serious boyfriend. He was a native-Canadian Russia thought he was the cutest guy in the world. He was way older then her she was 18 he was 31. She and him both got fired for seeing each other. He had spent a few nights at Russia’s house and they were drinking and he had gotten violent she ran to her neighbors house and called the police. When the police got there he was gone and they said they would nothing. Russia then met up with him and he asked her to move out with him. Unknown to Russia he did not have a place he was homeless. She did not care she still moved out with him and throw out a lot of her stuff which she bought with her hard earned money. He would leave her for days at a time. He was cheating on her. She knew this but did not want to believe it so she said it was untrue and made herself believe it. After awhile he would stay with her and only leave her if he had a day job to go to. he would try and bring her along with him. He would get more violent with her but never leave bruises intentionally but it would happen and when asked about it she would lie and say oh that I’m unsure or oh that is nothing. She use to use those lies as a kid when kids or teachers asked about it. She met some people on the streets they were nice to her and gave her tips on how to stay safe and not get your stuff stolen. She and him dated for about a year and a half and he beat her weekly she thought it was right though and that is how relationships work. They had broken up 7 times in the relationship and then she got pregnant and told him within 3 days she knew and he said no she told him twice more and he said get tested and she did. She went with her brothers and met up with friends to tell them. He was nice to her worked hard bought her anything possible and treated her like a queen. 3 months into the pregnancy she had a miscarriage and he told her to go. She went back to her moms and she was accepted back. Russia worked at a daycare
and he found her and asked her back out this time she said no now leave me alone.
She met her second serious relationship this one lasted just over a year and a half. It was about 18 months long he was so awesome and different. He was a few years older then her. He was 25 at the time and she was 20. He had lied to her about something that she thought was a huge deal. Most others would have brushed it off and not had thought anything of it, but Russia had been hurt and had seen what lies can turn into. He had told her his first name was lets say X when really it was Y. Is that a big deal? For most people you would not think so but for Russia it was and she blow up it was almost a year and she had not known his real name. Russia said it is only one it is fine i can push on and she did. Within 4 months of the relationship Russia had lost her job as a fast-food attendant at a Downtown food place and could not afford the rent at her place and moved in with him and his parents in the nice area of town. She hated it there. She looked for work which Russia and her boyfriend did not work. Finally after months of searching he found a job now Russia was stuck there to clean all day and look for work. Finality she decided to go to college and get money that way. So she did it took several months to get all the paperwork done. After school has started a few months into it she was tired of his parents always being her face of how horribly she had cleaned the house and how she was at fault for fighting with their son. She told him at the 13 month period to move out with her or she was leaving him he finally moved out at the end of that month. He still had his job and she was working there too for about 3 months then she quit her studies were starting to fall she thought it was because of work but it was not the teacher was unfair to her and eventually she switched classes it was not the right job for her anyways. She took a different a class. Russia and her boyfriend were living with Russia's brother it was great but then he was done supporting her(which her brother was supporting her more) and she somehow still got her way and used his things. She finally one day said I’m done with you it is over and we are moving out . 2 months later Russia and her 2 brothers moved out. She is 21 at this time.
For six months they lived there. It seems as though Russia never stays in one place for too long. As the months went by Russia dated a few men. She went for coffee had a few boyfriend nothing long -term. The months passed slowly and finally she was done her studies at college. After her schooling was done and her practicum she was dating a nice man. He helped her and her brothers move out back to their mother's where Russia is staying currently with her brothers. Russia had terminated that relations hip a few weeks of living with her mother not because of her but because of him not seeing her as often as she would like to and never doing anything except movies at his house., Russia was bored and moved on. She started to date 2 guys at the same time nothing official then they both asked her out she had a tough decision. Finally after a few dates with each and a few days to think and consider it she choose her Man. Luke. And then their journey started.

CHAPTER 3: THE JOURNEY OF LOVE
Russia and Luke had mutual friends in common. They attended the same high schools different years . They talked on the popular social network for months before dating. They went out a few times. Russia was so happy to finally met him and when he asked her out she was happy but a little indecisive. After her decision was final she told everyone and made it public on the popular social network. She is 22 at this time which is her current age. Luke’s past is a usual one both parents a sister nice house good upbringing. Nothing out of the ordinary. They are so different but Russia knew when the time is right for marriage and kids they will have a better upbringing she is still always thinking about the future. First time was coffee and then his house they have been hanging at his house for a long time. Russia is not bored with this one and she can not wait to see him soon. Even though he does not own his place and still lives with his parents Russia knows that they can have a chance to purchase and grow together. Sharing responsibilities. Russia can not wait. Even though it has been only a few weeks she is sure he is the one. Every now and then though Russia is scared so is so in much in love if he left she would be heart-broken. Luke tells her he will never leave but Russia has heard that before and each time he says it she remembers her friend saying "i will always be there" and then a few weeks later she is gone. Russia looks at the past every now and then through her journals, some of her journals are lost though forever, she tries to remember the good times but the journals remind her of a worse time of heartache and lies.
Afterwords sometimes Russia gets sad then she remembers Luke. Luke can bring a smile to her face all the time no matter what mood she is in. When he forgets to call or text because he is tired after work Russia gets upset "why doesn’t he call me? is he over me? i thought he loved me?" she ponders and stares at the phone. She thinks that sometimes she is acting child-like in the relationship because she feels like a teenage girl in love. Luke has made Russia feel different from all the other men, Russia has never felt this. She thinks about Luke all the time she is in pain when he is gone. She thinks about the way she feels when she is with him and she realizes that no one has ever made her feel this way not friends family or her first boyfriend. She is sure he is the one. They both want and need to hang out with each other as much as possible . Russia knows she and Luke are not ready yet to have a child but she wants one so bad. She realizes that they both need to have money and their own place first in order to have this child. Every time Russia is with him she is on cloud nine. He apologizes when wrong and he is sincere Luke is the perfect man in every way he is Russia's perfect 10. They have their cute little couple things that every couple has. Every time the drive anywhere and hit a red light they look at each other and kiss. "Red-light kiss" They always hold hands when they walk anywhere. She goes with him to the corner store for anything. They text each other goodnight sweet dreams every night they are not together. They use a video-chat service to see each other if they did not see each other that day. They are both sure they are each others one and only. Russia can see her being with him.
Russia is now unemployed and has been for the term the relationship thus far but Russia vows to change it and she has been trying for months now and no luck. Luke has a job and has been supporting her Russia is furious at herself and can not stop wondering"Why can i not get a job any job?" Her phone is cut off and she wants Luke to pay it but knows it wrong and that he needs to support himself first. Russia is falling towards depression she is falling quickly down the spiral and fears that she may never get back she had already been down this path and came back once but the little things no longer improve her mood and nothing seems to bring a real smile to her face. While out with Luke Russia fakes a smile as she has done all her life it seems She fears if Luke found out she was spiraling down that he would leave r something Russia was not sure but she did not want him to know. She throws a fake laugh and a few fake smiles to keep Luke believing that everything is fine. She uses that lie so often sometimes Russia believes her lie. She is so ashamed of lying to him but Russia keeps going and she keeps lying to her too.
In a few weeks still no job she is worse then ever and more dependent on Luke her phone is now gone how can they say goodnight how can she find a job she is lost and without hope and every weekend she is happy to see him but hurt that he is supporting her and should not be. Her head is about to explode What is she going to do? She wants to yell ad scream and knows it will do no good and she knows not to yell and scream at Luke "should i keep pretending?"she wonders. She is no longer happy and joyful around Luke and now Russia feels worse. She can not stop being a bitch. She tells herself to stop and apologizes even though she knows it wrong she can not shut up and stop. Russia is hoping something will come soon she knows she is in trouble if she does not get a check soon.
Russia is now in a job she loves very much but still in financial trouble and she turns it on to Luke. She is constantly fighting with him and keeps saying "I’m sorry i love you" She is enjoying her job although boring and repetitive. She likes her boss and her co-workers she is very happy and believes that she is in the right place. She was hoping to do something that would change lives but she knows now that her dream is far to reach. She is content enough to do this job she thinks that she may be able to make this her career. She is hoping that she may move up in the company soon. Her family life however has changed from them being mad at her for lack of money to them being irritated that she has Luke. This is not new to Russia she has been going through this since her first boyfriend in junior high school. No one is good enough for her in her family's eyes or she is not good enough for them. She is sadden because her family will never accept anyone for her. She is done trying to change Thurber minds and she has accept Luke. Russia is now starting to change.
She is changing for the better.
Russia use to blame others for her problems but now is taking all the responsibility that would be hers and she is not making excuses
but just telling the truth and has accepted that sometimes asking for help is the better options then getting upset and struggling sometimes help is needed. Russia is maturing as a woman. She is planning on moving out with Luke in a few months unbeknown to her family. If they ha found out what Russia and her boyfriend were about to do she would never hear the end of it. Russia is sure she will tell them when the timing is right perhaps a month in advance to be sure her mother will be alright. She can not wait. She is confident that this one will work and if not she has a bit of money in her pocket to get her through on her own.
Russia is falling deeper in love with Luke and she is having a wonderful time doing it. She can not help but too. Why? Well although, he may not be the best looking or the tallest or the best guy ever there is something about him that makes her want him and never let him go. Luke is feeling the same way but has for some time now. Russia has missed this feeling and now that it is there she is allowing herself to free-fall and hoping he will catch her. As her life moves forward she changes and so does her feelings. She is thinking if there is anyway she could possible be any happier and the answer she always think of is yes but things could be much worse and then she thinks am i content and the answer is yes again and she settles her mind and soul knowing that everything is all right. She and Luke fight sometimes about the little things but she knows with her work and lots of love things will turn around and they will continue loving each other
Russia knows that she can not stay with her family much longer the steers and fighting is too much for her to handle. At first her job was a blessing now it has become an escape route and the weekend she spends with Luke which is another escape route. Although the attention is not really on her. The fighting is mostly caused by the lack of money in the house because of her mother. If she could keep a job and stop making excuses of why she can not get on life would be easier. Russia is not the only that feels this her brothers are feeling it too. She can not wait to move out with Luke. She has gotten a ring from him to show his commitment to her. He has told Russia that she will be getting a promise ring to show that he is serious and wants to marry her. If they had enough money to get married they would. Russia gets scared and thinks about what he will be like in the future. She wonders if he will turn out like the rest or if he is really different . She knows it is not right to dwell on things especially if they are bad but her minds always seems to wonder there. She does not want to get hurt again can you blame Russia for feeling this way? I do not thin you can after all her trauma which i know a lot of young women suffer through. Russia is planning her life.
As Russia grows and gets older she is encountering many problems.Her problems are not fatal that she knows of. If these problems were to persist they become that way. Russia has financial problems still not to the same extent as earlier but still the financial problems seem to never leave.
Russia is so lucky that she loves her family and they feel the same way. Especially her mom. She believes it is more of a guilt thing then love though. Russia needs to take a loan out of which she needs help to get, her mom has said that will try and help. Russia is happy that at least her mom is trying to help. She thinks it probably will not help but at least she is trying. This loan is for her dental procedure which is one of her problems which is annoying to her but if that problem persisted then it could become fatal. Her other problem is her and having offspring she is going with