Mr Rocket Nuts 7-9

Part Seven: Your Nuts, My Nuts.

Traveling faster than a speeding banana, Mr Rocket Nuts awakes from his nightly eight hour nap and begins to look for crimes to fight and people to hurt, badly.
As he steps out of the Nuts Caveren, he quickly realizes that he forgot to shower that fortnight, this realization of course leaves Mr Rocket Nuts unhidered in his vehemiant search for, and utter destruction of anything he considers crime, or criminal activity.
While walking down the street, Mr Rocket Nuts becomes thirsty, "Jokes to mine rockers ferd, opium frost clutter gurgling boss lute!"
So it was decided, Mr Rocket Nuts would kill the local nightly news sports anchor Glasses Molasses.
Mr Rocket Nuts was feet from the door to the new station, when he suffered twelve different strokes, in nine different parts of his body.
He fell down dead as a dead thing that can't be any more dead than it is.
For the next few minutes, or maybe it was days. No, it was minutes, Mr Rocket Nuts life flashed before his eyes.
There is no way, using the english language, to describe what he saw, the closest that can be said is "All around, there were voids, and lights, and strange beings that resembled mashpotato housing, and the loudest most juciy noise imaginable. The end."
The eyes of Mr Rocket Nuts slowly opened, and as the light came into focus, he saw that a paremedic was giving him mouth-to-mouth CPR.
Mr Rocket Nuts quickly jumped up and snaped the neck of this foul man of medicine and burst into the T.V station, found Glasses Molasses and cut off his fingers one by one with his (Glasses's) penis, Mr Rocket nuts then fed him said fingers, then said penis.
Then, Mr Rocket Nuts found a working table saw, and cut Glasses Molasses in to tiny half inch pieces, starting with his feet.
When he was complete, Mr Rocket Nuts left the building with a smile on his face, blood covering his entire body, and the screams of the tubby sports anchor still ringing in his ears. He faced the setting sun he cried "There's detatch longs ready butcher. For child's butter!"
No feuneral was held for Glasses.

Part Eight: Thanks For Nuts.

The sun had just peeked over the mountains, and the first rays of light were just beginning to shine through the holes in the dirty newspaper that Mr Rocket Nuts was sleeping under.
As he open his eyes, a rouge ray of sunlight struck Mr Rocket Nuts right in his pupil, temporarily blinding him for two weeks.
After the three days of blindness were over, Mr Rocket Nuts was very angry, but he did not know why, so he was also confused...and hungry...and aroused.
He stormed through town in the NutsVehicle, driving very angrily, attepting to hit anything that moved or what he thought should move.
However, as it turns out, courthouses don't move very easily as Mr Rocket Nuts found out when he got out of his car and attepted to ram the ol' courthouse.
It didn't move, not an inch, or even a meter, or even two inches.
After days of struggling against a building like a tard, Mr Rcoket Nuts stepped back, wiped his balls, and said "Sooth nose your's are hover gangle, hit custerd donk forwarn going!"
And that was that.
Until it wasn't that. Mr Rocket Nuts jumped into the air, he flew higher and higher until he was almost two whole feet off the ground.
He stayed that way for six years.
Then he came down, and saw a nice elderly couple, Mr Rocket Nuts chuckled, shook his head and then walked over to them and using both fists at once, punched through there very skulls.
The elderly couple was pronounced dead as soon as perimedics arrived.
Later that day, as the sun was setting, Mr Rocket Nuts removed his clothing, and ran through a forest of crotch-high pine trees.
Blindfolded.

Part Nine: Global Nutsdown.

Force of natrue, destroyer of evil, deadlist catch!
Its!
Mr Rocket Nuts! and his associate Nuts Lad!
And together they fight whatever is in front of them!
Today we find our guys in front of a banana store, wearing barrels, with suspenders, and scearming at all things equally.
But, as a crayon walks out of the Walnut store, a man with a squids tenticle for a head magically appears in front of Mr Rocket Nuts, a 1/2 centimeter in front to be precise.
When this happenes, Mr Rocket Nuts litterily explodes on an atomic level, and then reforms himself using only his will and third grade art skills. Needless to say, there are ducks.
Angry as could be, Mr Rocket Nuts begins breakdancing with all of his might, to the song "My Green Tambourine".
The Man with the squid's tenticle for a head is flabbergasted by hotdogs, and needs a bath.
While Nuts Lad is watching Mr Rocket Nuts dance, A bank robber robs a bank on the other side of the street, nude, and covered in maple syrup.
Mr Rocket Nuts is starting to wear a hole in the sidewalk where he had been jamming so hard with his somkin' body movements. But suddenly, he stops, and butters a bagel he found in the dirt severel days ago and had been keeping in his anus since then. He then feeds this bagel to an infant that was crawling down the road, and with no leash, can you belive that, the times we live in...
Anyways, Mr Rocket Nuts has now apprehended the nude, syrupy bank robber using only his body and the special tools that he enjoys using for catching nude, syrupy bank robbers.
As the police were driving away with the bank robber, Mr Rocket Nuts suddenly remembered that he hadn't brutaly ended someone's existince that day, so, he uses all of his mentel nuts powers to eck out the loudest, wettest, nastiest fart ever, in the histroy of time.
Everyone who was within a hundred feet of his backside died in seconds, and the last thing that they all smelled was Mr Rocket Nuts inner anus.
Thats how I want to die, smelln' poo.