Hope for a Miracle

The Hope for a Miracle

Chapter 1
I flew to the old Riley’s place that was where Melissa would be I knew it, that was her favorite place. I can’t even begin to describe how I was feeling, my heart was racing even as I raced time I knew I had this feeling in my heart deep down it would be today. Today would be Melissa last day. I burst though the door feeling has if I would burst myself. I sprinted up the stairs down, and down the hallway to our room. Our room the room that held so many memories, I almost cried at the sight of it. But that wasn’t the only reason, I felt like my heart would stop any second. My pulse racing and my breathing heavy as heavy shuddering long rainfall. There she lay, there was Melissa lying in the poison of the cancer, I fairly spat the word off my tongue. Gone, gone, gone forever…. There was no longer hope for Melissa, and as I stared at the room, I quietly tried to stifle my sobs. I looked all around the room and for the first time saw how horrible it was for her to live and breathe the hospital at home. Through hospice it was just as bad as a hospital. I saw our paintings and posters. I saw to the time when we were still normal teenagers, when we didn’t have to worry about if there would be a tomorrow, or worry about what would happen if we forgot to take our Medicine? Soon I could no longer stifle my sobs it was to hard. There was no hope for the Melissa she was my best friend and she was gone. As I started to examine Melissa I noticed she still was wearing my friendship bracelet, and there was a note with my name on it this is what it said.


Dear, Janelle

By the time you read this letter I will be gone, but don’t worry I will be ok. I am going to miss you so very much and wish you could soon join me, but then I don’t. I hope you do not lose your battle as I did. Fight for me to and fight for Chelsea. Janelle you are the last one, we all need you to fight for us. Continue on and fight until the end, try your hardest I know I did. Live life to the fullest because the last couple weeks I was lying in bed, I realized how much I still wanted to live, I realized I didn’t get to do anything I wanted to do. I didn’t even graduate! Love with all your heart and beat cancer, prove medical science can be wrong. Puzzle the doctors, and make a difference. If you are ever struggling or are having a bad day remember Chelsea, remember Marissa, and remember me. We love you so much, it was all of our dreams to beat cancer, and so far all of us have failed so do it for us. Don’t come to heaven now, wait, we want to see are best friend when she is nice and old. We want you to tell us about life, tell us what we missed. So if you ever need courage or help remember us and read this letter, because when I write I write for everyone, and I right from the depths of my soul .So Janelle please remember me.


Melissa



We took Melissa down to the graveyard soon after and held a small funeral, filled with plenty of pretty things, and soon Melissa would finally rest in peace. Her Battle was over Cancer had won. She had died as many of her other friends had, Janelle, Chelsea, and now Melissa. Sixteen was just too young to die; I could not take it any longer. I ran as fast as I could from that place and ran ran and ran. All the while thinking why? Why her? Why Janelle? Why Chelsea? Would I be next? What did the future hold for me? Why did I have to have cancer? Why? Why? Why? Why was I the only survivor in our group why?



My days all blend together, and I hardly remember anything from yesterday to tomorrow I am so depressed. Will cancer take me too? Or will I be one of the few survivors. I feel as if I am all alone…….. Will I ever be cured?


I find myself running to a tall bridge I don’t know what I am going to do? Will I jump? NO I love life. Why am I here? To gazed out at the sea? Yeah right! Oh how as my life changed so drastically? Why am I doing this? Never have I realized how much I love my life, and how much value it has to me. Oh now look at me all my friends gone and now almost me to! What will become of me I hope I can get this under control and soon!
I want to kill my cancer and defeat this, this horrible, thing, battle, or what ever you want to call it, but to me it’s all the same and I’m tired of all of this, I just wish this was all over. No more Chemo or Medication, pills, Doctors in scrubs and that icky, icky hospital smell.

Finally I awake from my spell of darkness which I never want to return to. And find myself in the hospital covered in wires and what not. But at least now I feel back to my regular self. I was realizing all this right when my doctor breezed in. “Good Morning Janelle” “Morning” I slowly respond. We chatted a bit about my day and my medical needs. Having fun but then, she turned serious she insisted I tell her everything that happened yesterday. I find myself telling her, and by the end I am trying to stifle my quiet sobs, and soon I am hidden her shiny purple scrubs. Crying while quietly listening to her soft voice reassuring me and giving me nothing but confidence, which was rising slowly but surely.


The next day I was much better I asked millions of questions, I was determined to get some answers, I wanted to know what was going on with my health, to know when it was going to be over, was I almost in remission these were the kinds of answers I desired. And finally I got some answers, well at least some of the answers. I was told that I was no where near remission, and that I was to be put on Chemo to help me with my battle of leukemia. But, I was doing better, and I was almost ready to return home to me hospice service. And possibly in a few months I would return to remission, but until then I had to wait, and be obedient, take my meds and chemo.

Later that day I was sitting in my room, watching my favorite game show and trying to play along with the lucky contestants. I wished I could go on that the show ‘Old Murphy’s mixed up game show’ that was it, and all those lucky contestants didn’t even no how much that would mean to me. I would love to act like a normal kid like those or like my best friend Jackie. Oh how I missed Jackie, I haven’t seen her in so long, she was off in Washington D.C. to go on with her life to go to collage after all it was that time we were 18. How all those years flew past so quickly I sometimes feel as if I am a kid. I wished I was with her somewhere of at collage following the American dream that I so long thought I was going to belong to. Thought I was going to meet new friends, go to parties and stay up all night. But that was just a far of fantasy, never to be completed. Wait a second here comes my nurse she looks lovely not she looks sad, no mad yeah angry. But Miss Lilly is never mad ever! And I should know I have been her patient since I was born. I mean I am either in hospice at home, being watched closely in remission, or in the hospital I never really am free from it. Wait Miss Lilly isn’t alone!! Who’s that?? She looks my age and she as the biggest smile on ever Oh no she better not be here for community service! We are not a community project! There coming right to me! “Now Janelle” I heard Miss Lilly say my name in a stern tone. “This is Kelly she is going to be your new roommate!! Starting tomorrow so we both have to go I am giving her a tour but tomorrow when she arrives we will have a little get together and chat for a bit ok” I silently heard my self mumble “Hi see you tomorrow” And I guess I managed a smile because she smiled back then walked away. But really I don’t know what to say inside, I mean I really hate being alone it gets well lonely but I don’t even know what it would be like to have a roommate again I mean what If I get hurt again like with Melissa??

Chapter 2
While I was thinking all of this I and watching my game show a , some unexpected visitors stopped by my parents that were in L.A only visiting once a month because they lived so far away I cried Mother , Father I was so happy so so happy , what as it been 2 months since I had last seen them. And they had chocolates and flowers how and we ordered Chinese they apologized for not bringing my sister, Melanie and my older brother Jeff. I tried to convince them that it was ok not to be sorry I would see them next time, maybe but how I did miss them just as much as I missed my parents. And Chelsea, Melissa, Marissa, and Jackie many of my friends now gone. But with my parents there I quickly recovered from my spell of depression and we chatted away by the end of the night my mother and I were whisking though some shoe catalogs as she promised over and over again that I she would take me shopping for Dorm stuff!! I am so excited they are going to let me go to the community college here in New York YAY!! But of coarse I have to get out of here first! Of course! But what ever it takes, you have to be willing to make the wish before you can make it. Just like you fail all the risks you never take. That’s my motto! Well kind of. But oh well. And my mom gave me this amazing journal I love it yes!! But she’s wants me to use it to pour out my feeling! So fine I will plus she says I can’t

Dear, Diary, journal thing December 5th 2005

So mom gave me this journal thing, and I have to write in this thing everyday because my mom doesn’t think I can and my doctors want to it to read it to se how I am doing mentally!!!!!!! So thing I believe you need a name what should I call you??? Let’s see diary yeah right I am not 8 and journal no! That sounds like I am recording like the biggest discovery ever and unless you believe I am a true superhero or something then my life does not count! So let’s give you a real name like “Janelle’s Truly amazing life” yeah right or “my private and personal book” “my deepest emotions” how does that sound or “Stay Out” lol joking what if I name you like Lucy or Miranda what about my lovely life I love it!! It’s like hey double L was up lol perfect oh ohh lights out here comes my nurse byes!!


“Morning, I am so excited” Excited excited for what????? I am going back to bed “But our meetings in 20 minutes” I don’t have a meeting and who am I talking to I said into pillow, “Well sleepy head I am Kelly and I am your new roommate see I am all moved in! This is going to be so much fun!!!” Wait what roommate??? “Remember Miss Lilly introduced us yesterday” Oh yeah!! Suddenly it all came back to me, the roommate my parents the college and my doctors wanting me to see a counselor/ psychiatrist! But I am going to get control! I am! “Ok so are you coming??” Yea I mumbled, “Ok well I am going to get some breakfast so I will meet you in the cafeteria in ten minutes ok?? Sure. I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, I quickly dressed and actually put on some makeup, and jewelry, I even styled my hair. And suddenly I was walking out the door. I was feeling very light spirited today. I soon found myself stuffing pancakes into my mouth and engulfed in a conversation with Kelly and Miss Lilly, and my new psychiatrist, we were all talking about Kelly and me, so Kelly is 17 and she as her license she weighs 145 and her favorite color is orange. She was diagnosed with leukemia when she was13, and she as been in remission since she was 15, but her cancer is no longer dormant and she is recovering from a heart attack, she is to be put on chemo and will start attending meeting with a psychologist and dietitian. She loves chocolate and exotic animals especially penguins, monkeys, and dolphins. She as bright auburn hair to her shoulders with blonde highlights. I guess she’s around 5’6 and she is a size 3. Her parents are both writers. She as one younger sister Gabriela and a dog names cocoa. I listened quietly as she described her life, then I found them all staring at me obviously it was my turn. Ok so I am 5’2 I weigh 149 and I wear a size 4. I have beach blonde hair to my shoulder with brown highlights. I love Chocolate as well and I am a vegetarian, I love animals, and my favorite one is the penguin, I adore purple and orange and I am currently single and my father died of lung disease last year. I am sixteen and I have my license and I have a blue aveo I have a little sister Meloney and an older brother Jeff. I have a dog Lizzie, and a cat Twinkle. My mother designs cakes. That’s all there is to know about me. Then one of the ladies started talking “Well I am Mrs. Smick and I will be your new psychologist I am looking forward to working with you ladies here are your schedules for meetings from the both of you, Joy” 3Then the second woman started talking she was rather a mousy person in her mid 30’s
“Oh I am Mrs. Taylor but you Joy, I will be your dietitian and Janelle I am glad you mentioned you are a vegetarian I will work that into the schedule and I to am looking forward to meeting with you, however do have some homework I will need you to record everything you eat everyday and bring this with you when you come to the meetings we will occasionally meet together.” “Well I believe that was very successful meeting, do you girls both feel comfortable talking here??” We both nodded only I wasn’t so sure. “Well then meeting adjourned we will meet tomorrow bye” stated Joy.

Kelly and I walked back to our room in silence, but as soon as we got there she spilled. She was terrified she hadn’t been in a hospital for 3 years and she didn’t want her cancer back, she was worried what happened last time would happen again I found my self telling her everything to and within a few days we became inseparable. And we even got permission from Miss Lilly that we could paint our room we painted it orange and a soft purple it was beautiful we went shopping online and bought several accessories like posters and so on, which soon arrived our room was amazing and Kelly had tons of friends whom stopped by all the time and I became good friends with a lot of them. This was turning out to be fabulous. But we did have one minor set back neither of us could leave the hospital, we were stuck there which meant we couldn’t do the normal best friend thing. You know go shopping or go to the movies and what was there to gossip about I mean we were living in a 3 level hospital what were we going to talk about??? I mean it’s not like “Omg did you see the new guy on level 2 he is so cute!!!” no!
But we will get though it.

Hey, LL December 6th

So here is my daily entry, nothing really exciting happened today, oh expect for the fact that I got a new roommate!!! We are like best friends now, well give us time and we might be. But don’t tell Mom I skipped a couple days. Ok I will write 5 entries today. Well that’s it for now Kelly and I are going to an aerobatics
Class. Fun uhh? Ok Well I have to go. Bye

“Kelly” I screamed, “What” was her quick reply “Lets Go” I could barely hear my one voice over the blare of the music, we were at the hospitals annual teenage party in the lounge and it was about 10:30, at first I couldn’t hear anything but then I heard her rapid reply “Ok now besides I am getting a headache We both stumbled out of the room both tired we almost fell on the floor. Luckily we made it to our room before we both dropped out of reality and checked in to our wonderful dreams. Zzzzz!

AHHHHHHHH!! I heard Kelly scream “What” I answered as I quickly glanced at the clock as soon as I did I found my self following Kelly’s example, we had overslept from the party last night and are meeting with the psychologist was supposed to start 5 minutes ago and if we didn’t show up we would be rated irresponsible and have to stay here longer! No! No! Oh Janelle what are we going to do?? Umm I say we run for it, what looking like this, well yeah, but look at us we are never going to make it oh well we can try. Let’s go.
I don’t really remember what happened next I remember running down the corridor with all the nurses yelling and so on, but we ignored them and just kept running. Soon we were in the psychologist ward, and we were in our room and then suddenly nothing I blacked out.

Chapter 3
It was the shrill cry of Kelly that woke me, I was covered in tubes and wires, I was on oxygen and what not but most of all I was terrified, I had a big bruises all over me, what happened?? I started crying everyone was just looking at me with a sad look in there eye what was going to happen, over all the noise I could just barely hear myself yelling out and crying, I wanted some answers, what was wrong? What happened? Was I going to be ok? I screaming my questions and all they did was ignore me, the nurses kept giving me grave looks and the doctors just ran around the room frantically doing what was Kelly, she was apparently just as scared as I was. The doctors say I tripped and hit my head on the door, and since I back am so fragile right now it caused me to become unconscious. And that explains the bruises; Kelly had some minor injuries because she tripped over me. And now it was time to explain. “Well I quietly stated, we were both out last night the annual teen dance, and we were there pretty late, and when we got we both passed out because we were so tired, we then overslept, which caused us to be late for our meeting with our dietitian, along with our psychologist, so we started running, when I hit my head, which caused Kelly to trip over me. Leading to our injuries. But are we going to be ok? “Kelly will be ok but you Miss Janelle will not, you will need to go on medications you should not have fainted, we are very worried”.


Dear, piece of paper Dec 6th

Ok, so here is my paper for the 6th I no that it’s the 8th but I am a little behind schedule. OK big deal I skipped a couple of days but I fainted!!!!!




Hey, again Feb. 13th

Hi, I am bored bye, bored, bored.

March 8th

Yay, I am finally caught up on my journal thing. Now the not so sunshiny side is that today I am starting rehab. That means 3 hours a day of running, climbing, and pedaling. Yay! Doesn’t that sound like so much fun? Well its not!
I also have a meeting with my Dietitian, and psychiatrist, yay me. Well if I don’t go now I will be late and I can’t be running though the hallways.


“Why do you feel like this?” She pressed, my firm reply was well I feel like I have got more and more attention since I was diagnosed and some of the attention I really don’t want, some of it is nice but that is just a pity love the ones that really love me would tell me no once in a while like I was a normal person which I am I am not a piece of glass the only difference is that my shell is softer and a bit frailer I still have dreams, feeling, and love to give away. I could feel myself opening up to her the one thing I didn’t want to happen but once it was out there, I don’t know the words just came and suddenly I had to tell her, tell her everything, and then I started again Everyone just gives me pity and I really don’t know if they love me or not. How do I tell?? “Well I think it’s good that you feel something about that but what exactly do you feel? Anger, Sadness, Shock, Anything, or do you care at all?” I care, I care a lot really but I am not sure if I feel sad about it or angry I mean I knew people did that but I just realized how much they do it, I mean I am mad at them for doing it but then again I am sad that they would do that to people I mean we want the same thing as them to be loved, and cared for remembered. You want someone to be there for you someone that will catch you, or someone that will give you a hand to help you up when you trip. I want a true friend, at least more of them really all I have is Kelly I want to go somewhere where I can meet people like me like a summer camp, I don’t know, would that be good? Am I a true friend would I save Kelly if she needed me would I stay at her side?? I really don’t want to be a bad person really. “Ok, ok slow down I think it would be really good for you to go to a summer camp, your right you don’t get out much so you have few loyal friends, to and that is what you need especially now” Ok so should I start doing some research? “No honey I will take care of that” Thanks. “Ok so you made a big success in today’s meeting, and I want to continue moving forward” I couldn’t manage anything except for a smile. We had some small talk then I quickly left. I walked hurriedly down the hallway I had to get to Kelly and I had to do it now.

Kelly I yelled as I walked into our room, Kelly here are you? She wasn’t there, but she’s currently on room probation, because of her hard partying and missing curfew several times. So where is she?? She’s only aloud out if she as meetings with her doctors or psychologist, which I knew for a fact she did not have anything scheduled for today. Unless of coarse there is a medical emergency. This had to be it since there was no other explanation. I could feel my heart fluttering and felt if I might faint. I was running down the hallway, where I was soon at the nurse’s desk hurriedly inquiring questions. Where’s Kelly?? What’s wrong? And why won’t you answer me? “Oh Janelle honey Kelly was sitting in your room and we heard her sobbing crying out to someone, holding a conversation with no one, when we went to check on her she was lying on the floor things were thrown all over the room. We called her doctor who said she was having a reaction to the new medicine, but he is afraid to take her off the medicine because she is improving greatly” ok so where is she?? Well she is down in a special room surrounded by doctors and nurses. So does this mean I am alone? Currently yes, but Kelly should be back soon the doctors just wanted to keep an eye on her. Ok? Sure but can I go visit her? Yes but you have to talk though a special phone no one except doctors are aloud in and there solid glass walls so you can see her. She is on floor 5 and she is in room 516. Thank you I quietly, mumbled. I jogged to the elevator and took it to the 5th floor and walked until I slowly found her room snatched up the telephone and started talking. She looked horrible she had wires all over her, and she had huge bags under her eyes like she was packing for Paris. Oh are Kelly you ok? Please answer me. Kelly are you there can hear me? “Yes I, I can but Janelle I don’t know if I can make it. Kelly don’t say that you are going to ,get though this, you are ok but you have to by my side Janelle I can’t do this without you, ok I promise I won’t, but Kelly why didn’t you tell me that you were having problems you knew I would have helped you. Kelly why didn’t you tell me? You are my best friend and I love you. I need you just as much as you need me. Ok Janelle I promise I will, but please don’t let me down, I have fallen so many times and expected my friend to help me so many times and they weren’t there for me don’t do that to me. Please. It’s ok Kelly I will always be here for you. I was crying now, this situation was going to change mine and Kelly’s friendship forever. But the question was, would this be for the better or worse???

Chapter 4
Every single one of my dreams had to do with Kelly, Kelly laughing, smiling, crying, everything Kelly covered in wires, and crying out for help would she make it?
I slowly stumbled into the recreation center; I grabbed some water and tried to settle down I had to know how Kelly was it was amazing how close you can be with someone from only a few short weeks.


Dear Diary, December 23rd ever
OK so I can’t write in you every single day, fine, so what no big deal what ever ok so Kelly looks better kind of, but I don’t know??? She can come back soon maybe tomorrow oh I hope so.



I was so tired as I climbed into bed, I had helped Kelly all day getting settled in and moving back down here with me, they had finally discharged her 4 days later hoping she would soon get better, but I did have a meeting with my doctors today, and they say I am doing a lot better, and might be able to be discharged by may and go to that camp I wanted to go to!!!! Yay! Good news they also said that Kelly is doing much better and after that new medicine she is going in to Remission!! It’s kind of like you have to get worse before you can get better, do you know what I am talking about? Oh well, but the point is we both are going to be discharged soon and just in time for the camp witch starts May 1st and it is April 20th I am so excited the camp is located in Baja, California so we will have to take a plain from Chicago but I don’t care. We will be there May 1st- May 14th, and the doctors were talking and if I continue to show improvement they will let me be an out patient and let the doctors at camp manage me, off coarse keeping track of my progress and so on, but mainly I can go and when I get back I can go home and go to college. Well until then I am going to bed.

By Wednesday the 24th I was about crazy I even started counting the days until camp on my calendar, but until then I am so bored, I mean all I can do is day dream about the camp, and Kelly’s not much better, I mean what is there to do at the hospital, we must have packed and repacked are bags like 15 times, I mean what can a teenage girl do in a hospital. We are leaving to go to the camp which is called “A Pretend Holiday” or just “APH” So we are leaving on the 27th only three more days, but what to do on those days is where I am stumped. I of coarse do have homework, but it’s not like I care, I mean I probably will never turn in those stupid papers, but I did get an unexpected visit from my family, and they brought my brother Jeff this time he is 18,only a year older then me. And it was amazing, we hung out all night, Jeff, Kelly and me, we went down to the recreation center and we must have been there for like 3 hours doing whatever. But I can so tell by the way Kelly is acting she totally likes him, but how weird would it be if my brother and best friend started dating I mean seriously and Jeff is totally falling for it. I mean he is acting like a 3 year old seriously do I have to do all the work around here. By the end of the night Kelly will have asked me to hook them up! We fell asleep sometime around 3 in the recreation room, and my parents, came up around 4 and woke us up and quickly ushered us to our room, and started talking in very quiet tones something about, an emergency and they needed to go home immediately, something about my sister being sick the flu I guess and mom couldn’t wait. But Jeff didn’t want to go, of coarse and he wanted to stay with Kelly and me. So Jeff is now staying in a hotel across the street, until Saturday when we board to go to California, he will fly to Los Angeles. And Kelly looks like she might explode from excitement and suddenly they were gone, quick hugs and then nothing.



Dear JD April 25th

Oh My God Jeff finally got up the courage to ask her and now my brother and my best friend are dating. That’s kind of awkward, well for me anyway. But Camp is in 2 days, and they discharged me and Kelly today!!!! Bye for a while.


They discharged Kelly and me today so we are staying in the hotel with Jeff. I am so excited 2 more nights, and all we have to do is hang by the pool until then. Me and Kelly went on a shopping spree today and got new clothes, and several swim suits. We modeled all of our outfits for my brother just because we were so excited. But later that night I had several goodbye calls to make, sadly. We spent the next day at the pool all day long and the arcade we acted like we were 12 and ran wild, after all it was our last night in Chicago.
But knowing how excited I was it was kind of strange when I couldn’t sleep at all that night, I kept tossing and turning, I Janelle was actually nervous I couldn’t believe what I was feeling, I rarely felt nervous I was normally jumping head first into challenges, was I scared, I kind of felt scared, but I still was excited. Just nervous as well, what would the other kids be like I mean, were they sick to?? I had tons of questions boiled up in me but they would all have to wait. I hope I can do even that.
I fell asleep on the plane after all the flight was at 9:00 a.m. causing me to wake up at like 5:00 a.m. to get ready in time and drive there, it was really boring. But Kelly was sure entertained wrapped up in some book. But we did eventually make it. Finally!! I screamed as we climbed off the airplane, as I stretched, Kelly read the itinerary; we were to check into our hotel at 1:00 P.M. which gave us 25 minutes to get there. We made it there in about 20 minutes and slowly checked in. We stayed in a suite because we figured that it would be our last night of luxury for a while. We even had a Jacuzzi in our room! It was now Friday and we only had one more night to go. I could barely contain myself.
The next morning was crazy we scrambled around trying to get ready and eat breakfast. Making sure we had everything ready and double checking several things. I can’t believe we even made it out of the door, but we unbelievably did! We also managed to make it to the car, and to the camp registration. We settled into our cabin we would be rooming with 3 other girls. Both of us had claimed bunks, when a tall blond girl walked in, followed by a short red head, and a sort of stumpy brunette. They chatted a bit before the noticed us, but soon apologized and introduced us, the blonde was Brittany, and the Red head was Amanda, followed by Madison. We quickly exchanged information and then ran off to orientation. This was turning out to be a lot of fun. I just hoped it stay that way.

Chapter 5

Kelly and I grabbed a seat in the front row, this time I was not going to be shy!!! I had known for years that life was short, I was afraid of dying.
So I didn’t want to do anything to speed up my time. I figured that if I kept to my self that, well my time would be longer. Kelly on the other hand as
Taught me that life is short, but make the most of it. She’s taught me to not be afraid of dying. Our time will come, but now that I knew this I worried would I have enough time????

I brushed those thoughts out of my head when loud and booming voices come over the speaker. Right in front of me I saw a short, stout little man, whispering to the nurse’s. He abruptly turned and returned to the stage, once all eyes were on him he started, first with a welcome, followed by a few rules. We were handed our schedules then we all braked for lunch. I gaped at Kelly as we ate our lunch; she was going 500 mph, all she could talk about how much fun this was going to be and ohh! What should we do first, swimming? No defiantly Horse’s? Oh I don’t know did you see the guys over there, I think one of them was checking you out, don’t worry I will do all the research for you. I was afraid she was going to loose her head when the dismissal bell finally sounded. We threw our trays away and started for the tent, when Kelly saw a BUETIFULL chapel, well at least threw her eyes, but it was stunning made of exquisite stone, and miraculous stain glass. And engraved in the top was of the “All will fall short of the glory of God” right below it was “God as a plan for all, even if you don’t, things must get worst before they get better ” Kelly was suddenly crying and she told me her story, she was a Christian and she had followed God all of her life, but when she was diagnosed with cancer at age 14 she immediately turned on God, mad at him for not protecting her, now that she saw this she had realized how wrong she had been, she was suddenly on her knees, sobbing praying for forgiveness, I had known about Christianity all my life, attended a few church services, but it all confused me. She said she would see me later and quietly slipped into the church and in the front pew. She told me to go on she would be a while. So I left her there but soon realized I was late I sprinted back to the tent and slipped in the back, however it was not unnoticed. A stern looking coach came over to be while all the guys snickered. “Young lady where have you been you are 10 minutes late” well “No excuses!” Ok me and my friend were looking at the chapel it was beautiful and it brought back some memories. Ok but this is your first and only warning. Yes ma’am I turned around to shut up the guys behind me, but they acted completely serious as soon as I turned around. I needed to make sure Kelly was ok, but how right after this I was supposed to go to my psychiatrist, after this yeah right how long was I supposed to listen to this voice droning on and on?

I must have been day dreaming, because some how I made it though the day, and was ready to get my brain drilled by a psychologist when Kelly ran up to me followed by a tall lady, in her mid 20’s, we did quick introductions, her name was Andrea and she was the camp counselor she had found Kelly and was a Christian as well she helped Kelly and was really looking forward to helping us this summer. It wasn’t has bad as I thought it would be, we actually had a lot of fun I mean we ran all over camp just talking it wasn’t like she was supposed to do this but she really wanted to do this and she was only talking to us.

The days seemed to fly by, camp was a blast and I had done every activity at least twice. Kelly had even started dating Seth one of the boys she had mentioned on the first day. Soon I noticed I only had 2 days left. We had been practicing and our cabins were made into teams and Kelly, Madison, Brittany, and Amanda were a team it was like camp Olympics I was going to be participating in the sand volleyball, the canoe race and the obstacle coarse. I was so excited; Kelly, Seth, and I were all eating lunch when Shawn came up to me, he gave Seth a mysterious look then asked if I could take a walk after taking a quick glance at Kelly I got up and walked off. After several minutes of silence Shawn babbled about a few things before he finally spit out the question. “Will you be my girlfriend?” I weighed my options I could say yes, I would, I put on my brightest smile and told him I would, he looked so relieved it was almost funny, we walked back to the table and he sat down next to me, Kelly and Seth questioned us separately with their eyes while we both replied silently. They seemed to get the picture and when I think about it I stayed that way for a long time, Kelly told us about how Andrea had helped her get things right with god, and I had learned to understand a lot better I wasn’t quite sure what I believed, but I at least understood. Everything seemed to be going good because I was suddenly dating Shawn I understood God, I had my medical needs under control, I had made several new friends and I had finally stopped grieving Melissa, I realized we all have a time and I was no longer afraid of cancer.

Chapter 6
There we were coating ourselves with sunscreen going over the plan, when Andrea came over “Are you guys nervous?” We all broke out into a chorus of “YES” Don’t worry you guys can do it!
Brittany and me got ready for the canoe race, we got into our suits and jumped into the canoe we grabbed our paddles and patiently waited for the fire of the gun. As soon as we heard it we took off at top speed we had a little trouble at first but we were able to pull ahead against cabin 7& 9 we were now in second place as we slowly pulled up behind number 2 we actually had a chance in the end we pulled out with a win, that’s was one. Now we only needed one more to qualify for the finals. Next was sand volleyball, Andrea, Brittany and I made the team of three we warmed up a bit before hitting the court we got off to a bad start but ended up with a tie 11 to 11 the next would be the game point which we lost, we were now depending on Kelly and Amanda to win in the tug a war competition because I had already lost in the obstacle coarse now it was up to Kelly and Amanda who closes enough came away with a win putting us tied for first place and the tie breaker would be Madison in a swimming race we all watched in anticipation they but unfortunately Brianna from the other team pulled cross the finish line. But then suddenly a team accused us of cheating in the canoe race so we were to have a second canoe race only with 3 members, so Brittany, Madison, and Amanda were going in, as they got ready, Kelly and I waited in the anticipation the gunfire sounded and of they went, we yelled and cheered, when I heard a loud crash I only saw one canoe and it wasn’t ours the other had, well I saw a large seaplane and underneath it rumbles. I sobbed and it all happened so fast, I remember holding Kelly and Shawn and then being rushed to the hospital, looking at them and the doctor telling us that they were announced brain dead on the site, they were very sorry you know the whole act. I called my parents, and talked the camp director into holding a memorial service.
The service would be Saturday at the chapel around 2:00.

I packed my bags, and said by goodbyes before the funeral. I gently took Kelly’s hand and walked into the sunlight, my heart still sad but it would soon heal. Together Kelly and I were going to get though cancer and I was going to be a survivor!

Epilogue
Janelle and Kelly spent the rest of the summer at Jeff’s apartment in L.A. then as promised by Janelle’s parents, Janelle started attending New York University. Accompanied by Kelly and surprisingly enough and to Kelly’s likings Jeff. They shared a dorm on campus. And Janelle and Kelly still held contact with Shawn, Seth, Amanda, Brittany, and even Madison. And Janelle would never forget her old friends. Kelly and Janelle were currently out- patients at the hospital and both in remission. Yay! How long that would last Janelle would never know. But she accepted that you can’t have all the answers. But she knew she had loyal friends, she had a life, and she was living it the way She wanted to. She wasn’t living in that icky hospital smell anymore and she was happy. She was actually living the American dream. What the future would hold she had know idea and she had no intentions of guessing. But in her opinion she was doing just fine. And if she had it her way her Miracle would come true, in its own time. She was loving life, and defiantly planned to go to heaven as an old woman. She would have new friends, to introduce her old friends to, of whom she would never forget. And she would have many stories to tell them about the life they could never live.