Is is Me You're Looking For?

Chapter One
She tossed her short hair back into the shower spray, rinsing the soap out. Almost finished she thought. Hollering through the shower curtain, she yelled for Harley to quit whining and barking. She thought that they had overcome this bad habit but Harley was not remembering the lesson. As she rinsed her hair, her mind thought back to the day she had walked into the local Humane Society and fell in love at first sight. She reached in to pick up a cute male puppy and all of a sudden, a furball of energy had literally ran up her arm and and claimed her as her new owner and best friend. She mused as she toweled off as to why she had picked a female dog and named her Harley. Too late now. Harley knew her name and responded. Harley continued to wimper and whine. Stop that right now Harley, she hollered again from behind the shower curtain. All dried off now, but for the dampness of the bathroom, she meticulosity folded the towels. She was funny about things like that. Everything had to be in it's place and neat. She opened the bathroom door and welcomed the cool air coming in through the open windows. Wraped in her robe, she felt safe and secure. She had promised herself that what she had seen two weeks ago would NOT ever seep into her mind again. She wanted to banish it from her mind forever! But ,helpless to control her own mind, the images were still fresh. She knew she woud never forget that night. That of a young man begging for the thug to take his wallet and let him live. He gave no resistance to him and for that, he was fair game. The images fled through her mind like a movie being fast forwarded. She had hidden behind the car that she was about to unlock and drive back home. She yelled out the very first thing that popped into her mind from a Police training she had heard years ago about what to do when being confronted. She walked from behind the car and hollered as loud as she could, RAPE! Tears ran down her cheeks as she remembered the young man's last request as he laying dying from the stab wound he had taken for doing nothing but handing over his wallett. "Please tell my wife that I love her". She dried her tears and again wondered why Harley was barking and whining. When did she finally learn to bark she asked herself. Entering the livingroom, she soon discovered why. Someone was knocking at the door and was not going to go away. She had not been able to hear them from the solitude of her shower. Opening the door, she pulled her robe tightly around her. " Hi. May I help you?" "We hope so Cindy. She was shocked at the use of her real name and suddenly afraid. Composing herself and trying to be a bit taller than her 4'8 self, she said "Please come in Officer." Officer Ballard, as she noted from his badge was very polite but she knew he was all business. Officer Ballard cleared his throat and began. " We know you were a wittness because you were the one who called 911 and you waitied until we arrived. Can you tell us more about what you saw?" " I have already spoken to the police and made my statement" I replied somewhat calmly." His look was noncommental and not very friendly. His next words rocked me to the core. " He was a fellow Police Officer and a friend." As her mind reeled with what he was saying, he continued. " You were the last person to see him alive and you also saw who did it." And he saw you! Mrs. Taylor, you could be in a lot of danger. I need you to come with me now to a safe place so I can protect you.
Chapter Two
As she lost every bit of composure she had left, she sagged and said ," It was dark and I can't be sure." " Cindy, the officers that you gave your statement to have his profile now and HE possibly has your cell phone. Did you even know it was missing after you called 911?" She reculantly said.." I never even use it . I have it in case I break down with my car. I didn't even know that I dropped it or that it was missing."
Officer Ballard looked down at me and responded. " You probably did not even realize it at the time but you took a picture of what you saw happening before you called the police. He knows that you can identify him and also knows that you called 911. He has your phone now Cindy and all of your contact numbers." The intake of her breath was painful. It hurt her to breathe. Not my family was her last thought. Hours later, she awoke in a strange house with Officer Ballard sitting across the room watching her.
Chapter Three
She slowly woke up, coming out of what she considered to be a coma. She had not slept like this in ages. I can move she thought so I am not injured. I must have been drugged! Her first thoughts were of her family. She searched her mind and the images came in flashes.Then, as if she had been given a jolt of adrenalin, she remembered her wonderful family. Her dear sweet Mother who was probably wondering right now why I had not called her. It was our ritual every night for me to call and check in with her. Cassidy, Bret and Bret Jr. My own daughter, son in law and my beautiful grandson! Dustin, the first male in the family in years and how I used to love letting him get dirty playing ball and how my sister, Jul would get so mad. Dustin has been a family hero because he has always been there when everyone of us moved to a different place. He never said no and did it for nothing. And she loved listening to him play guitar. She could, and had, sat for hours just listening to him play and sometimes sing. There was also Amie, my other sister Carin's daughter. Poor Carin, how my cousin's, Mike and Janet and I picked on her! She has a wonderful sense of humor and probably because she WAS picked on so much! As a teenager, I was so jealous of Carin. She was and still is beautiful. Every boyfriend I brought home seemed to fall for her once they met her. Lucky for both of us, they turned out to be a bunch of losers and Carin and I both got rid of them. I love her so much and now, as an adult, I feel nothing but love and respect for her. Meggie, who after my last surgery was there every day to help me with anything! She was but a teenager back then and I'm sure she had better and more fun things to do than tend to her Aunt. Emilie, who made me laugh all of the time because she wanted to grow up so fast and now she is out of High School and has started the growing up process. She will go far in life and be sucessful because like all of Jul's children, they have a powerful drive behind them in the form of their Mother and Dave. Then there's Kat, also Jul's child. I smile just seeing her face in my imagination. Kat, whom I remember letting her paint my toenails one afternoon and she painted my toes as well! I promised to not redo them and proudly wore my open toed shoes to work the next day. My baby sister, Anitra who lives in Virginia, who is happily married to a wonderful man named Bill and has two step children whom she adores. If memory serves me correctly, Anitra was born with the same hour as JFK was shot and bought home in about the same hour as he was being burried. Since I was the oldest, I was so proud to be the big sister of three younger ones. She frowned because she knew that she had forgotten that Amie was older than Dustin. How could I forget something like that she questioned herself. She always got the girls mixed up as Kat ALWAYS reminded her as soon as the wrong name escaped her mouth. Her mind flashed back to the day that as she was taking Amie as a child for a ride one day. When we pulled up in the driveway, the rear end of the car burst into flames. She should have gotten the damned muffler fixed before a disaster happened but was too late. She had to get Amie out of the car as fast as possible! Knowing Amie as she did, there was only one way. Amie, I said as composed as I could be, I bet I can get out faster than you can and beat you running to the back door. My plan worked. Amie was not going to let any challange go. She was out in a flash before I could get out myself. The fire department came and put the fire out. I'll never forget the fear that I had in my mind that day when I realized that the car could have exploded. So many memories of Carin and Jul's children flew through her mind and how she, Cindy had lived vicarously through them while they were young. Jul had gone through so many rough times but had the will power and the fight of a Mamma bear and always managed to to the best for her children. I admire her so much. Cassidy, my own personal miracle. Born at two pounds and one ounce and at thirteen inches long. She was such a fighter! How she hated being called a miracle! Now that fight and spirit in her has paid off. She and Bret are the proud parents of Bret Jr. He was born with so many more problems than she had and is on 24/7 life support and between her and Bret Sr., they have their hands full. He just turned two years old a few weeks ago. Bret Sr. and Cassidy pulled together a terrific birthday party and Jul's homemade cake was a major hit! I can't lose them she thought! I have to pull out of this! She pulled the cobwebs she was feeling out of her mind and gathered herself together. Pulling herself up into a sitting position on the bed, she sat up, looked at Officer Ballard and said, " You have 2 minutes to explain to me what is going on or you will have to use that gun you are wearing on your belt me to stop me from leaving.
Chapter Four
They eyed each other across the room. Cindy had a knack for reading people and always trusted her gut instinct. It played a major part in her role where she worked, offering assistance of some sort or another to others who needed help. It was almost like a game, picking out the players from the real people whom she could actually help. She looked in his eyes and knew, he was not a player. They were nice eyes she thought but eyes that had seen a lot of pain and sorrow. It must be a tough job being a police officer if he really is one. As if he read her mind, he simply stated, "I have been with the department for over twenty years and I will get you the verification that you want if necessary. I apologise for having to bring you here but I did not harm you or drug you as you may think." How did he know that she thought she was drugged she asked herself. Had she talked out loud in her attempt to wake up? He said.."You actually fainted and it was the easiest way I could think of to bring you to a safe place until we get this crime solved or at least can confirm that you are no longer in danger." Fainted? I have never fainted in my life I yelled." "There's a first time for everything he calmly responded." " I need a computer, a laptop or someway to cut my cell phone service off" I stated. "Already done Ms. Cindy" said Officer Ballard. "When we realized what happened, we traced your cell number and had it disconnected." She bitterly said, " Oh freaking wonderful! You can do that but can't catch a murder suspect with a picture?" Officer Ballard sighed and responded, "We are doing our best." He then asked me where I worked. " Oh my God I thought! No one knows why I am not there or why I did not call in!" I quickly told him and he said not to worry. He would have someone contact them immediately and just tell them that I was in protective custody so I would not lose my job. He then asked, "What about your family?" The tears flowed again just thinking about what this would do to my family. I gave him phone numbers and addresses. I listened as he made a call and requested unmarked cars to monitor each of their homes. He said, "We can't let them know that you are safe but we will do our best to keep them safe. The killer may know who they are from your phone."
Chapter Five
Frustrated to the point of exhaustion I asked. " Can I call my Mom?" He shook his head and said, I'm sorry but no. She will be guarded and will be watched. You can't call in case the perpetrator shows up and traces her incoming calls. Then he will know where we are. Just because we had your phone turned off does not mean that he did not have the time to write the numbers down before the battery dies." " Perpetrator my ass I screamed! He freaking stabbed an innocent man! A fellow Police Officer according to you!" He grimmaced and slowly said, "Yes, a fellow officer who just found out last month that his wife was expecting their first child. His name was Mark. We are doing everything we can and will find the murderer." The tears started flowing again and I wondered if they would ever stop. Why did I have to be there at that particular time on that fateful night? Why couldn't I have just been home with Harley? Harley! My mind and my feelings came to a boiling point when I remembered that Harley was home alone! I stood up and got as close to his face as I could and between gritted teeth said, " I want my dog Harley!" As if on cue, maybe she recognised my voice calling out her name, I heard a whimper from the kitchen area. " Harley? Is that you? " I ran to where the sound came from and saw my dear, sweet Harley in a kennel cage. " Harley I whispered. You are here!" I quickly opened the kennel and she ran into my arms. Officer Ballard had followed me in there and quietly said, "Yes, when I realized that you had a puppy, I brought her here to be with you. She is quite a biter he said as he extended his arm and showed the bite marks." I murmmured an apology about her still being a puppy and showed him my war wounds that just doggie play can bring about. He laughed and said, "She is adorable and she really didn't attack me, she wanted to play." I smiled and said, " That's Harley!" Officer Ballard squatted down and said "Hello Harley. I did not know your name until just now." Harley ran to him and jumped all over him wanting to play now that she knew that I was there. Damned unfaithful dog I thought to myself.
Chapter Six
On the other side of town, in a run down bar, a drunken Jeremy Larmor was lamenting about the fact that of all of his hits, he had killed a fucking police officer. He ordered another beer and read for the second time the article in the newspaper. Newly married, wife expecting their first child. Highly decorated and was in line to be promoted. And he, Jeremy had ended that life for $75.00, a few credit cards that Jeremy maxed out on whatever he wanted at the time and a gold watch. Then he remembered the bitch that ran out hollering rape like a crazy woman taking pictures with her cell phone. At least he had her phone and smiled to himself. He pulled out the phone. It was disconnected but he could still see the pictures that were stored in it. He did not need to see the pics she took of him. They were stored in his mind. What he was interested in were her phone numbers. He knew he had to act fast before the everything was lost because of no charger. He had to find and eliminate her he decided as he ordered another beer. He scolled through her contacts and saw one that made him smile to himself. Trish-next door neighbor it said. He liked the name. Trish he thought..Trish must be a cute dish. He laughed out loud as he realized that for someone who never finished high school, he had just made a rhyme. I could run he thought. Hide away in another state. But thanks to the bitch as he called her, the cops had his picture. No, he had to stick around and lay low and see how things played out. If necessary, he would find her and erase the only wittness. Pictures won't stand up in court. He just also happened to be walking by and offered assistance. He grinned at his alibi. Another beer he hollered out and said to himself, sorry about the kid cop. This beer is for you. Like we need more cops growing up. He laughed out loud again as the bartender thought, ok, another drunk in the place.
Chapter Seven
That night, as Cindy was about to go to sleep with Harley, she realized that the last person she spoke with on her cell phone before calling 911 was Kat. It seemed ages ago in her mind but was in acutality, only a week ago. Kat. Her little buddy as she had called her since Kat was a little girl. She prayed that whomever had her phone was not able to find the last number dialed before the police had it turned off. She desperately wanted to talk to Cassidy and Bret and make sure Bret Jr was ok. Just the sound of hearing Cassidy's voice would make her feel better. She whispered a silent prayer to God to make sure that Cassidy would know how much she was loved. When I first met Bret Sr., we had our ups and downs. Damn! Now that I know him, I love him as much as I would if he were my own! He loves Cassidy and little Bret so much! He is a wonderful father and husband. I could not wish for a better son in law. I must have moved or made a sound because Harley barked, walked in a circle and came back to sleep in the bend of my arm. Sorry Harley I muttered. I finally dozed off again but the visual of what I had seen came back in a dream. However, this time, something was different. Again, I saw the robbery and the attack as if it happened five minutes ago. What was different this time my mind asked? Like a weak dam trying to hold water back, it flooded back to me. I knew what it was. What I had blocked out was what I had heard! I sat up in bed as I heard those terrifying words again. " Thanks dude! Jeremy needed a new watch too!" She had a name. His name was Jeremy!
Chapter Eight
She woke up and knew that Harley was ready for her morning walk. Sighing, she knew that her shower would have to wait until Harley was happy. " Come on girl, let's go" she said. The house was quiet. Some police officer Ted is she thought. Ted. Why was she now thinking of him on a first name basis? Oh well she mused. Even policemen had to sleep. She slipped out the front door with Harley in tow. Full of bundled up energy from the night's sleep, Harley was like a kid in a candy store. A new yard and new sights to see. It was a nice neighborhood she thought. The lawns were nicely kept up and everyone had flowers planted all around their yards. It was a beautiful day and she was enjoying the walk herself. She let Harley lead the way and just followed. After about twenty minutes and one corner, everything changed. As she walked around the corner she saw buildings that had seen better times and were now boarded up. A few men were playing what appeared to be a crap game outside of a seedy looking bar. She tugged at Harley's leash and said, " Time to turn back girfriend."
Chapter Nine
Jeremy was bored and decided to walk outside and check out the crap game. Maybe, with some luck and cheating, he could double what money he had left over after robbing the cop. He was down to fifty bucks and needed an easy score. He casually made conversation and got what he wanted. An invite into the game. He looked up to see where the annoying dog barking was coming from and saw a woman quickly turn around and walk away. She looked familiar but he knew that she was not one of the occasional low class hookers he knew. Still, something about seeing her and not knowing her made him uneasy. As he knew it would happen, he won at the crap game and smiled at how easy it was. He didn't even have to cheat too many times because the other players were just too drunk or stupid. As he walked back to his tiny apartment, he stopped and watched as a mugging took place. Just make sure it's not a cop he laughed to himself. As he settled down for an early nap on an old Army cot that served as his bed, Jermey turned on the small TV that was his only luxury and watched the news to see if there were any connections to him yet with the murdered cop. He was prepared to run if he had to. So far so good he thought. The picture that the bitch took of him was too blurry and no one would recogonise him. He turned off the TV and tried to sleep. The image of the woman walking her dog kept popping up in his mind. He still could not figure out why it bothered him. He needed to sleep he told himself. He had won the crap game today but needed more money.A nap would clear his head so he could make another hit tonight.
Chapter Ten
Cindy and Harley made their way back to what was now supposed to be called home. It's only temporary she reminded herself. As she walked up to the front of the house, she was surprised. She had not seen the outside because of last night. It was a beautiful house and the flower beds were blooming in brilliant colors. She instantly fell in love with it. She realized that when she took Harley for her walk, because it was her habit, she had automatically locked the front door behind her. She had no keys to get back in. " Ok Harley, let's try the back entrance." As she and Harley went through the gate, another beautiful scene greeted her. A beautiful deck, bar-b-que area and built in pool! Yes she agreed with her earlier thoughts. I love this place. She pulled at the patio door and realized that it was open. As she walked in, the aroma of bacon and eggs hit her sences. She stepped into the kitchen and was shocked to see Ted also making toast and coffee. She was hungry and the breakfast looked like it would be excellent. She smiled and said, " Good morning Ted." He spun around from the counter with an angry look on his face. He yelled out. "Do you know what you have put me through this morning? I had to call in extra enforcements to canvas the neighborhood just to find you because I thought you took off." "I'm sorry I stammered. Harley had to go out." He shook his head and said, "I realize that now. One of the cruisers saw you walking her back here. Cindy, you don't know this area and not far down the road it turns bad. You can't leave here again with out letting me know." She decided to keep the fact to herself that she had indeed discovered that bad part of town. Trying to change the subject, she asked, " Is there enough breakfast or just coffee for me?" Ted smiled and said "Of course. Once the cruiser radioed in that you were on your way back, I cooked for both of us. I figured that you would be starved since you missed dinner last night." Breakfast was wonderful she thought when they were finished. Not only a good looking guy but he could cook too! Side by side, we cleaned up the kitchen and as we put the dishes away I asked, " Who's house is this? It's beautiful. I love the flowers and especially the back yard." He turned to me and responded, "It's mine. My wife planted the flowers and I will always take care of them." The word wife sent pain through her. He's married. Why does it matter to me she thought.
" I'd like to meet her and compliment her." I stated. For a moment, he did not respond. He then looked at me and stated, "She pased away 3 years ago from cancer." My heart went out to this almost stranger who was doing his job and taking care of me. "I'm so sorry" I said. He said "Thank you, but we never had the perfect marriage. She hated being married to a cop." " Yet you continue to keep her flowers growing " I said. He said, "I feel like I owe her for putting her through a life with a man she loved but hated his job". I wanted to reach out and hug him. I wanted to hold him and ease the saddness from his eyes. What is wrong with you Cindy?, she asked herself. Get your attitude back and be normal" It was his turn next. "What about you Cindy? Why are you not married?" I remembered back to when I was married and how happy I was, especially when I found out that I was pregnant. After Cassidy was born, her father simply was not ready to be a father. He was my first and only true love. It just wasn't meant to be. I anwsered Ted's question as honest as I could. "I'm divorced. He moved on and remarried and I just never met anyone else that made me feel like I was nothing more than a meal ticket or a place to stay because of my job." Quickly changing the subject, I asked if I could have access to a computer since I never used my cell phone to access the internet with it. Ted shook his head and said," No the dude knows your real name from your cell phone and he could follow you from your posts." I argued back and said, "Ok..what if I use a different name?" He leaned forward and said, "Why do you insist on having internet access?" I laughed and said, " If I can't call my family, at least I can see how they are doing with Facebook even if I can't add them as friends because I can still see them. I also have a farm game on there and if I don't harvest my crops, they will die." He said nothing for at least 20 seconds and then he burst out laughing! " You are worried about an online farm?" " Yes I responded, and it relaxes me. I also want to log into my favorite web site, Sbynews because it is local and the owner, Joe, posts info before the local media does and if anyone saw anything that night, they would post it on his site."
Chapter Eleven
Ted gave in and gave me a computer. I signed in under DreamsMistress and Ted assured me that the IP was safe and no one could track me down because it would send them a message that the user is unknown. As he watched me while I surfed the internet he asked about my screen name. I said, A long time ago, a very special friend told me that I was the mistress of his dreams. I thought it was cool so I changed it up and went with it." I logged into Sbynews and sure enough, there was the Breaking News about the murder. All of the details were there including that there may be a wittness. I saved it in my favorites so I could keep tabs with what Ted was not telling me. I wandered into the kitchen to make lunch and asked Ted if he wanted anything. Before he could answer, his phone rang and and I knew it was not good. I heard him ask when and where and he came into the kitchen and said, "I have to go. Lock the doors and for God's sake, just stay here. There was another murder last night and it look's like it may be the same dude. "
Chapter Twelve
Jeremy counted the money he had. A little over two hundred dollars. It did not take much effort he thought and who cares about the pimp he knocked off while the bastard was slamming his girl's for not bringing in the money fast enough. Hell, they should all give Jeremy a freebe for getting rid of him! He turned the TV on and was relieved to see that there were still no leads on the cop killer. He was safe. It still annoyed him that the bitch was still out there and she saw him. He was not worried about any wittnesses last night because they were just a bunch of whores and no one would believe them if they did talk. The bitch was another story. Her fuzzy picture of him was still onthe news. He had to find her. He needed a beer. Sitting at the bar and feeling rich, Jermey hollered out, drinks on the house on me! No one really liked him but when Jeremy had money he was everyones best friend. As the drinks were served, a Police Officer walked in and started asking questions about the pimp who was killed. Did anyone know him, when was the last time that anyone saw him. Everyone knew Mad Dog the pimp but they remained silent. One man ventured to say, "This is our turf and we don't talk to outsiders." The officer stated that there was a reward for anyone who knew anything and walked out. Jermey, feeling bold about killing a cop, walked over to the jutebox, put some coins in and punched in a number for a song. As he drank another beer, he smiled to himself as he listened to the song. I Shot the Sheriff.
Chapter Thirteen
As he drove back home, Ted knew that someone at the bar had to know something. If he could find the pimp's killer, he knew it would lead to who killed Mark, his brother and fellow Police Officer. His flesh and blood. The pain rolled in like a tidal wave. Mark was his baby brother who followed in his footsteps and became a Police Officer and was about to be a first time Dad. He was dead now and Ted had to find out who did it. He was doing his own undercover work because he was taken off the case because Mark was his brother. He was able however, to convince them to let him guard Cindy, and she was his only key. He sighed. He liked Cindy and he reminded himself that she was a part of the investigation and he was using her. But, for some reason, he felt comfortable with her and she made him laugh which he thought he had forgotten how to do. An online farm? He laughed and thought, I'll have to check that out. It was a short drive back home from the bar and he was glad to be back home. He walked in and was met with total silence and ran to the spare room where Cindy should be. Empty. No Cindy and no Harley. He ran to the kitchen and saw no note from her. Damn that woman he said! She knows better and he felt the pain and emptiness of her being gone. Did he really care? She was an assignment and that was it. Guard her. If she took off, she was not his problem anymore. His mind argued back...yes, you do care because like it or not, you may already be falling for her. He sat down with the realization. He had to think about it. Yes, he cared but was it love? He grabbed his keys and gun and went looking for her after he requested additional cruisers for the search.
Chapter Fourteen
Cindy and Harley were happily walking around the block. She was careful not to go the way she went before because of the bar and the people there. She came upon a shopping center and realized that she needed more clothes because all Ted could find before he snatched her away was what was available in her bedroom at the time and was out in the open. She wondered if she could use her credit card or if that had also been cut off. She turned around and walked Harley back home, and after giving Harley a treat left again. She was a woman on a mission. As she approached the shopping center again, she was oblivious to the Police Cruisers that Ted had sent out looking for her. She went inside a shop and ended up buying new shorts, a few teeshirts, underwear, a couple of bras, a bathing suit and for some odd reason, a very sexy looking nightgown. Not that it was a gown, it was a small whisp of material that barely covered anything! She convinced herself that it had nothing to do with Ted and she just wanted it for herself. As she walked back, she was day dreaming about Ted and totally missed the block to turn on and again, ended up on the bad side again and had to walk past the bar. As before, she could hear the loud music and see the people outside playing craps. A few of the men hollered out to me and asked if I wanted a good time and how much I charged. One man in particular seemed familiar but I could not place him. He yelled out and asked if I was one of Mad Dog's women and said he would take better care of me. He seemed to have some manners but his look gave me goosebumps and my inner warning signals kicked in. He asked again if I wanted a cold drink and without saying a word, I ran as fast as I could back to Ted and hoped he was there. Jeremy ordered another beer and said, Here's to you pretty lady. I can't place you or remember how I know you, but we will meet again.
Chapter Fifteen
As she got closer to home, she stopped and panicked. I forgot to leave a note for Ted! She ran the last block home in hopes of getting there before him. She walked in and could tell from the stormy look on his face that she was in trouble. "I'm sorry she stammered. I needed some clothes and I just forgot to leave you a note." He was angry. Very angry. He slamed the magazine down that he was reading and responded, " You needed clothes and with another murder, which you are a wittness to the first one, and you simply decided to walk to the shopping center? Do you have a death wish?" I fought the tears that came to my eyes and calmly said, " Yes, I needed some clothes.". It was no use explaining my need for clothes. He was beyond reason. His only responce was, "The only reason you may still be alive and here is because of the extra protection of the cruisers that I have to keep a watch on you because you just don't get it!" As Cindy walked upstairs with her shopping bags she thought about how much Ted must be hating her right now and badly she had messed up. She turned on the hot water in the shower and for a minute, just stood there and tried to let his harsh words wash off. He's right she thought. She finished her shower and promised herself that she would not betray his trust again. As she was blow drying her hair, his words came back. Do you have a death wish? NO she thought! I have too much to live for! She put on a clean pair of shorts and a new teeshirt and slowly walked back downstairs to try and make things right by getting dinner started. Ted was on the phone talking about the last murder. The murdered pimp was within 4 blocks of where we were. As Cindy was preparing dinner, she thought, I have to tell him that I remembered a name. But, not while he is still so pissed off. He probably would not believe me anyways because I have lied and let him down. Dinner was good. The fried chicken and mashed potatoes and vegetables were cooked to perfection. Again, they cleaned up side by side but without a word. Cindy took Harley outside in the back yard. No more walks until it was approved by Ted. She gazed up at the stars and murrmured a prayer for her family. As she and Harley walked back in and upstairs to their bedroom she said, "Good night Ted and again, I am so sorry and thank you for everything". Ted barely responded with, "Night Harley. Take care of her because she can't take care of herself". Harley, upon hearing Ted say her name, ran from me and straight back down the stairs to Ted. Oh well she thought, let Ted deal with Harley wanting to play in bed. She was too tired for anything but sleep. Sleep finally came but not the deep sleep that Cindy needed. Her mind was filled with regret for letting Ted down and because she had still not mentioned the name that she heard that night. She promised that tomorrow, she would tell him.
Chapter Sixteen
It was happening all over again in her mind. The young man begging for his life and the thug who took his wallet and watch. Then stabbed him. She again yelled out RAPE and as she ran over, took the picture on her cell phone. She was screaming out for help over and over again but it was too late for the young man. Still screaming out in her bed, Ted raced up stairs and realized that she was in the middle of a nightmare. Cindy was shaking all over and was still crying. Ted yanked the covers down and grabbed her. He held her close and whispered, "It's a dream Cindy, you are safe. I am here". She woke up the next morning in the soft and warm nest of his arms. She opened her eyes and was facing him. As he slept, she studied his face. Very nice looking. His hair was dark and wavey and she wondered why he wore it longer instead of the almost bald look that most police officers had. She jumped when he opened his eyes and spoke. " Do I pass your inspection?" he asked with a grin. Embarassed to have been caught, she went on the defence and asked, " Do you usually make it a habit to crawl in bed with women under your protection?" His eyes narrowed and he answered, "Only when they wake up in the middle of the night crying out rape even though it may be in the middle of a nightmare." She remembered the nightmare and apologised for disrupting his sleep. She sat up in bed and said, "Ted, I have a confession to make. I think I know the murder's first name and was going to tell you last night but you were so angry, I was afraid that you would not believe me."
He jumped out of bed and yelled, "You think you know his name and you kept it from me? Because I probably hurt your feelings by reminding you that you are to obey the rules here until he is caught?" He ran his hand through his hair. " You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met in my life! Stuborne too! Spit it out now and tell me everything." I refused to look away or let him intimate me. " I can't stop dreaming about it and the other night, I realized that in that dream, something was different from the others. I remembered hearing him say, Thanks dude. Jermey needed a new watch." She watched his face change back into what she called his stormy look. " That watch was from our, he quickly corrected himself and finished with, his father gave that watch to him when he made it into the force." Jeremy, finally the first clue. There was a name. "I need to get on this right away" he said as he left the bedroom. Not only did the room seem to get smaller by his exit, it was like the clouds had covered the sun and a brand new day was again ruined because of her stuborness. He was right she sighed. She WAS stuborne. She showered and dressed and took Harley out in the back yard. After a few minutes of playing fetch, she walked back in and started breakfast. Ted, she noticed was busy on his laptop looking at local names of criminals with records. Since it looked like he did not even notice her return, she cooked for both of them without even asking if he wanted breakfast. Ted noticed her though. He looked up from the computer screen and watched her as she moved around the kitchen. How could he get so angry with her and want her at the same time? He smiled to himself as he remembered her studying him this morning. He had been awake for at least an hour before she woke up. He did not want to move so he would not wake her up. What Cindy did not know was, that while she slept, he had also been studying her face. He liked what he saw. He knew that her eyes would actually light up when talking about her family. For such a tiny female, she was very fierce and protective of those she loved. He also had to admit to himself that it felt very good and right, just holding her in his arms. Love? No way he thought, he just admired her spirit he tried to convince himself. She brought breakfast in and sat down next to him. Because he was working, she kept quiet so she would not interupt him or make him mad again. She pulled out the laptop that Ted had gotten her and logged into Farmville. Without realizing she had spoken out loud, she muttered, "Damn. I lost all of my crops". That got his attention and to his own amazement, he burst out laughing and said, " That must be one hell of an addictive game. Again, I defended myself by saying it relaxed me by playing it and he said, " If you can honestly tell me, right this minute, that you are relaxed, I will log in and try it myself." "Ok Cindy admitted. I am mad at myself for letting them die. I guess it's only relaxing when I keep up with it." Ted kept his laughter to himself and thought, Farmville, an on line farm. This woman has to be crazy."Cindy fixed her farm and logged onto the local news sites and saw no mention of the murder. She then logged onto Sbynews. She had met Mr. Joe two times in person and even though she did not always agree with his blog, she respected him because he allowed the other side to chime in. Sure enough, he was still on top of the story and asking for any information that anyone may have, including the pimp that was killed. She scrolled down further on the articles and was shocked to see her own picture listed as a missing person! He also acknowledged meeting me and was asking for help. I quickly looked to see who had sent it to him and realized that it was Cassidy! She knew that this was one of my favorite sites and if I was able to, she hoped that I would see her post and respond! I said" Oh my God!" and started crying. Ted looked up and said, " Lose more crops? It's just a game. Not worth crying over is it?" I could not speak. All I could see were the words, Missing Person. Ted walked over and saw what had upset me and shut the laptop down. "Cindy, I'm so sorry." I went balistic and yelled that I would not be missing if he had just left me alone! I ran up the stairs to my room and slammed the door. I cried, I laid down, I paced the room and cried some more. She cursed the guy named Jermey and vowed to find him. This was his fault. Not Ted's. Again, she knew that she had to apologise to Ted for lashing out and blaming him. She walked back down the stairs but found the house empty. Ted had left a note saying that he would be back in about two hours. She felt guilty because she had never left him a note before and at least he had let her know that he would be back. She decided to take a swim. After a few laps, she found an air matress and just floated around and fell asleep. The sound of Ted's voice woke her up when he said, " You are getting burnt. You are lobster red." I rolled off the mattress and into the water and walked out of the pool. " I may be burned now but I tan easily and the burn never lasts." He said," I see that your stuborness is not only in your mind but runs through your whole body." Grabbing a towel, I walked past him and to the shower. Sitting at dinner that evening with Ted, she refused to admit that she was indeed sunburned and very uncomfortable. They watched some TV until about 11:00 and by mutual agreement, decided it was time to go to bed. She fell asleep remembering the feeling of waking up in Ted's arms this morning.
Chapter Seventeen
Ted was also in bed and remembering how he felt when he woke up with Cindy cradled in his arms. He mentally listed the things about her that infurated him but the list of things that he admired and liked were a lot longer. He questioned himself as to why he felt such a strong pull to her and could not find an answer. He finally fell asleep dreaming about a make believe farm on a computer. When they both met again the next morning for coffee and breakfast, they both had their laptops on. Ted was still searching for known criminals with the name of Jermey and Cindy logged on to her farm. She was shocked to see that her crops and farm had been attended to by a friend! She had no friends on the site because she had promised Ted that she would not ask for or request any. She clicked on the friend who had helped her and saw that the friends name was, addicted2u. Ted, she said, "I somehow have a friend on line that I never accepted." He asked for the screen name and I told him and he said, "Don't worry about it. It's probably harmless." He'd had a heck of a time monitoring her computer as administrator. Everyone wanted to be friends with DreamsMistress and he had eliminated all of them. Must be the screen name he thought. But he had decided to log in himself to track her moves. At least that is what he told himself. He found her farm and did what was needed but would not admit it was him. She closed her laptop and wandered to the patio doors and looked out. It was a beautiful day. Without realizing it, she much have sighed out loud because Ted asked what was wrong. "I'm bored." she simply stated. He asked her what she did for fun before all of this happened. She honestly admitted that she did not go out often and once home, she stayed there. But once in a while, she, Wayne and Gary would get together and play nickle, dime and quarter poker and that she missed them because they were her two best friends. His mind zoomed into the fact that these were males AND her best friends. He struggled to find the right words and finally asked, " Which one is the boyfriend?" Although Cindy burst out laughing and said, "Neither, they are just my best friends. At one point in time, Wayne and I did have a thing going but we realized that it was better that we remained friends". Ted registered the name,Wayne and thought he must be crazy to let someone like Cindy slip through his fingers. Ted all of a sudden said that he had to run a few errands. Did she need anything while he was out? She shook her head no and with a sad look, turned back to gazing outside and watched as the sky got darker and full of clouds and murrmered, a storm is coming in. Ted returned home at about 1:30 and said, " Just want to give you a heads up that we have company coming over at 4:00. " Company? Who? " Cindy's face lit up at the prospect that maybe Ted had contacted her family and too late, Ted realized his mistake. He gently reminded her that she could not yet have any contact with her family and waited for her to explode off on him. She surprised him and said, "Ok, is there anything I can do to help? I told you that I was bored and really need an excuse to do something." He casually asked if she had any special recepies that would be good for a small group of 7 which included both of them. Being single, Cindy did not have much of a chance to cook for a lot of people but she loved to cook. She said with pride in her voice, " I cook every year for my my Super Bowl Parties and no one has ever gotten sick yet from eating my food." She listed what she would need from the store and he said," That has got to be the weirdest combination of things I have ever heard of " All she said was, " Trust me." Within 20 minutes he was back with what she requested and hovered around the kitchen just to see what these crazy concoctions would be. He watched her pull out a crock pot and a cutting board. She shooed him out so she could get her famous Hawaiian Hotdogs ready and roll up the roast beef slices covered with cream cheese and horseraddish, freeze them in rolls to be sliced later on. They were hot because of the horseraddish and she knew it and smiled inwardly at the thought of his guests biting into them. Never let me get bored again she chuckled to her self. Ted walked into the kitchen as she was cleaning up and said, " Whatever is in that crockpot smells wonderful!" Cindy admitted that the hotdogs were cut and wrapped in bacon and layered with pineapple, molasses and brown sugar. Ted wrinkled his nose and said, "I hope they taste as good as they smell." Pineapple and hotdogs? Poor woman probably never had anyone come back to another party that she cooked for.
Chapter Eighteen
After a quick shower, Cindy met Ted downstairs and was surprised to see that instead of setting the table up for eating, he had cleared everything off including the centerpiece! So much for entertaining protocol she thought to herself. In the next few minutes, his guests started to arrive. They were all fellow police officers she determined. All four of them, with the exeption of the first man who was officially retired, were active officers.. He was a disginuished looking man. She also noted the pain in his eyes when he hugged Ted. His name was Mark. The rest were introduced as they came in. Jack merely grunted a hello, Victor who asked where the beer was, Jennifer and Louanne. Cindy could tell that Louanne felt way too comfortable with Ted and secretly hoped that she choked on the beef appiterziers. Just push that thought away she reminded herself. He probably invited her because he likes her too! She turned to Ted and asked what now? Should she bring out the food? She was now very embarrassed about her choices. These were his friends and co-workers and she did not want to shame him. Everyone was asked to take a seat. Cindy found herself sitting between Jennifer and Victor and directly across from Ted and Mark with Jack on one end and Louanne on the other. What happened next was the last thing that she expected. Ted returned from the kitchen with a new deck of cards and anounced, Time to play poker! He also brought the poker chips out and the game started. Surprised, I looked over to him and he winked .The first three games I lost. My luck changed and it was my deal and pick of the game. I announced Texas Hold Em and won again! Victor won the next game and called Progressive. My favorite poker game! As I gleefully raked the chips in, I noticed that Mark and Ted had walked into the kitchen. What I was unaware of, was that Mark was grilling Ted about me. What's gotten into you son? I see the way you look at her. You know better than to mix a case with personal feelings. Ted shrugged and said, "Dad, I will find out who murdered Mark but I agree that Cindy is a distraction. I admit that I have feelings for her. I am trying to push them aside." Yeah Mark responded. "That's why you decided to host a poker game because she was bored" and Ted's Father left the room. Ted returned a few minutes later and asked Cindy if any of the food was ready. "Of course it is she said. I would not let you down. "The food came out and was placed on a seperate table. Everyone there took a break from the game to eat. Cindy was already regretting making the hot beef rollups. To her surprise, Victor was the first one to speak up and say, "Finally, someone who knows how to cook for men and not afraid of making it spicey and hot!" Next, Jennifer asked me for both recepies and relieved, I was happy to oblidge. The Hawaiian hotdogs were the hit of the party. Ted walked by and said, "No way would I have ever thought that the mess that you asked me to pick up from the store would turn out to be so good!" We continued to play for about two more hours and one by one, they started to leave. Louanne ended up being the winner of the night and as I noticed, one of the last ones to leave. Just her and Mark remained. I started cleaning up everything and as Mark helped me he started asking me questions. He started out by stating that Ted is a good man. I agreeded. He asked if there was someone special still out there in my life. The answer was easy. No. He slammed a plate down and startled, I turned around and asked if he was ok. He said, "Ted is first and foremost a cop and you are simply a means to catch a criminal. For your own sake, don't get involved with him" and he stormed out of the kitchen. I ran out to apologise to him if I had done or said something wrong and ran into Ted as Louanne was hugging him like he was the last man on earth."