Things in my brain

Just saw a video on you tube...
        How to be alone, or something to that affect
A friend had linked it from facebook
very inspiring - made me want to get back to writing
maybe someday ill get organized enuf to do everything i want to do
right now i just exist
existing is not enough
i used to BE, now i just am...
WTF?
the balance of dreaming and doing got over run by responsibility
... they call it growing up i guess...
i call it giving up! -or- maybe giving in...
either way it is not the giving i am interested in
i used to give my soul to art and words,
          now its buried under admin and worries
sad times are sad
                          or perhaps just pathetic
"Wake up and Live" he said
    "after next payday" I replied