Winter's Heart

Tony pulled the photograph out of his pocket and stared at it. No one who knew him would say that the little boy in the picture was him. The picture was of two children: a little boy looking down at his hands and a small, slightly chubby girl with glasses kissing his cheek. The boy looked like Tony so it wasn’t that fact that would disqualify the validity of the fact in other people’s minds. It was the fact that the girl was kissing the boy that would make them question. Tony was a diagnosed heptophobiac. It meant that he was afraid of touch. He didn’t allow other people to touch him. He took to his father’s Japanese heritage and bowed to people. Most people respected that and would bow to him in return. There were a few, however, who would still try to shake his hand. It sent him into panic attacks to do that kind of thing. It was amazing that no one seemed to understand that. The only person who had ever known that, respected it, and then found a way to break through it, had been Hayley, the little girl in the picture.

He had met Hayley when he was three. She had been two. He had always been a small child for his age. They had been about the same size. All the other children had tried to touch him and get him to play until he had disintegrated into tears. All the other children had scattered then and the woman at the day care centre hadn’t known what to do. The small two year old girl had then tottered over, glasses slightly askew and pushed a block towards him. With the other blocks around she began to build something. He had been anxious at first not knowing what to do until she pushed another block towards him. Both were close enough for him to reach, but she never once touched him. That had been the beginning of their friendship.

For the next two years, they had grown close. He still wouldn’t let her touch her, but she was his best and only friend. Then it had come time for his family to move. He had been born and raised an army brat until his father had died when he was sixteen. He hadn’t wanted to tell Hayley that he had to leave, but somehow she had known. She had taken one look at him and sighed. “You’ll come back and marry me right?” Tony chuckled softly at the memory. How could he have said no? If only he had known what life would throw his way…

When she had kissed his cheek, he had been surprised, thrilled, and confused. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt human touch. The feel of skin, but she had given him that. And instead of the fear and repulsion that usually consumed him, he had felt a thrill of excitement run through him. Except for the picture, it had been thirteen years until he would see her again. He had been eighteen when he had returned to Maine. He had had one intention in mind and that was to see Hayley. He had gotten a job at the local hardware store and it had been sheer luck that he had even found her. It had only taken him one look to know it was her though. And the greatest thrill had been that she remembered him and the promise that had she had made him make. He had never forgotten it.

Their relationship had, in some ways, picked up from where it had left off. Except it was different now, she had waited this whole time for him. She introduced him to everyone as her boyfriend. He hadn’t even thought to object. The title had made him happy. No one believed them though. They never touched. Tony would occasionally give her a kiss on the cheek, but that was it and it was never in public. He had slowly been getting better. Able to stand her touch for longer amounts of time and to actually hold her hand every now and then, he was becoming a normal person. War declared had changed all of that though. He had been drafted in the first round. It didn’t matter to the army that he was terrified of being touched; they had sent him off just like everyone else. The only thing he had was the small, old picture, and the memory of the last night he had spent with Hayley.

They had made love that night after Tony had slipped an engagement ring on her finger. It had been the oddest sensation of his life. To touch for so long, to be inside of her…he would never forget the memory. His destiny he had called her as they made their promises to each other. War had sent him far backwards in his mental state though. The carnage had ravaged his mind along with his phobia. He only received three letters during the war though he was gone for three years. The first had been from Hayley to tell him that she was pregnant and that they were going to have a baby. She had told him how excited she was and had begged him to let her name the baby after his (or her) father. The second had been from Hayley’s mother telling him that she had died giving birth to their baby girl. Her mother had taken the liberty of naming the little girl Hayley Antonia. The third letter had been to tell him that baby Hayley was sick and would probably die before he got home.

The moment he got off the bus back in Maine after years of fighting, he had marched straight to the Wright house to claim his child. He knew that he would probably be a terrible father, but it was still his flesh and blood and no one could keep him from his daughter. It had turned out that shortly after she had written the letter, it had been Mrs. Wright who had fallen ill and passed away. Mr. James Wright had been raising his granddaughter for the past year alone. It had been a moment of choices for Tony then. He didn’t want to give up the child he had just met, but he knew that it was the only thing keeping a man like James Wright alive.

The door opened and then slammed shut a few moments later. Tony folded the picture and put it back in his pocket before standing up. A small brown haired girl of about seven ran into the living room and skidded to a stop in front of Tony, her glasses crooked. He leaned down and straightened them careful not to touch her as he did. She was bouncing up and down excitedly grinning at him. “Daddy! Daddy! Guess what? Grandpa took me to get ice cream!”

“That must be because it’s your birthday,” Tony said with a sad smile. “Happy Birthday Hayley."