Insomnia

Insomnia. Never asleep, never awake caught in the middle, no rest of the sleep, not alert as you are when awake, time crawling or flying by, feeling like you're in a different reality watching your own life though some one else's eyes. Acting on instinct, free will lost a long time ago.not making choices acting on impulse, stumbling around like a low budget horror film zombie. At night longing for the sweet embrace of sleep which never comes, fighting with your self battling with restless conscience searching for sleep. Tiring your self out hoping it will set you to sleep only making it worse, laying in bed staring at the clock taunting you, never changing stuck in place time on a stand still seconds go by like minutes ,minutes go by like hours, hours are like days. Sleep or so you think just a blink, unaware of what you are doing. Days go by no sleep, no energy to move friends and family worried trying to help try offering support get no reply, one by one give in drifting away leaving you be believing you will get sleep eventually, you know different you want to shout out say you're sorry ask for help but your ability of speech left you a long time ago. Night time again crying wishing for sleep willing to try anything. Time now flying by not moved in days unable to do anything, dehydrating starvation striking, no longer longing just for sleep. Skin pale and cracked no longer looking human feeling weak, no longer remember the sound of your own voice, no longer remember the feeling of sleep. 10 days since you last slept 4 since your last visitor no hope left, cant do anything lip bleeding, skin peeling belly rumbling body complaining screaming for food, dyeing for thirst longing for sleep. 2 weeks no sleep feeling like 20 years have gone by, eyelids heavy, excitement, happiness, knowing sleep is about to come, you will it on faster just wanting this misery to end. Going under, finally sleep, a long dark sleep one which you know you will never wake from, you dont care the torment is over.