thursdays in the spring

everyone sits outside for long lunch
sometimes we graze
every time i am happy

but when we were freshmen
we were scared but always smiling
i can laugh now when i think about
sitting with old friends that
we thought would be forever
keeping my eyes on the child
who owned my entire heart and then some
being picked on when you wear a skirt
but it was usually just me
who would show the entire school her undies

today we looked like homeless people
i smiled because we're still best friends
and i dressed like i did in eighth grade
i thought about it all day long
and when we sat outside the art building
and we could hear guitars and singing
and we could see everyone we know
and some new kids we don't
and even though we pretend to hate
i am completely at home here

i want to be a senior in the spring
when high school doesn't matter anymore
when i can be college bound and
not afraid
like i was when i was a freshman
i want to have all four years here
where the grass gets green in april
and the air gets warmer
the students get antsy
and the teachers try to keep them calm
i want to remember
dandelions
rocks in a gutter
throwing fruit
taking pictures
being best friends
i want to remember them here
where the bell rings but nobody listens
because everyone is playing frisbee or talking
because they are at home on the hill
where even when we pretend to hate
there's something about everyone
that makes me want to stay