A True Fairytale

True Love Story (told as a fairytale)

Once upon a time, there was a little girl with big, beautiful blue eyes.  She had a very big heart and was touched by things that other people seemed not to even notice.  She sometimes dreamed that animals would come to her in the woods, that birds would fly to her and that rabbits would eat from her hand. Once she found a baby bird that had fallen from its nest. She tried to put it back but it was too hurt and it died in her hand and she cried for days. The girl wanted the world to be a place of only love and happiness, where people and animals all lived together peacefully and nobody was ever mad or upset with anyone else.

She told lots of people about her dreams but most everybody laughed at her or told here that she was wasting her time wishing for things that would never happen. Even though her parents loved her very, very  much, they, too, discouraged her from thinking that such things were possible. This seemed very confusing and strange to her, but, since people she loved and trusted told her that her dreams were silly, she tried to stop thinking too much about them. Because her parents, her teachers and her friends all wanted her to stop acting foolishly and be like everyone else, she settled into being the girl that everybody seemed to expect her to be. But the more she tried to be good, the more it seemed she struggled. All around were people who wanted to push her this way and that way and to make her believe in things that she had never even thought about before. Sometimes it made her angry and sometimes it made her scared, but mostly it just made her sad.

As the girl grew up, she began to forget about many of the things that she had dreamed of when she was a little girl.  Still, sometimes she would have wonderful dreams about the birds and animals and she would awaken with her heart full  of love but it never seemed to last very long. 

She grew older, as is the way with such things, and the girl became a woman. She married a man that she loved very much and for a while they were very happy. Then one day she came home to tell him the most wondrous news, that she was going to have a baby. She was filled with such a glowing inner light that she was almost ready to burst at the seams. But when  she told the husband the wonderful news, he glowered at her and told her she had tricked him and stormed out of the house. It was the first time she had seen him so angry and it hurt her so much that she cried and cried.  When her husband came home,  he was distant and cold and something had changed in him. He stopped telling her that he loved her and her heart was broken in two.

For many years, the woman and the husband continued to live together but their love was never again like it had been in the beginning. For years, because he felt guilty about breaking her heart and he tried to make it up to her but she could tell that there was always something inside of him that he held back and didn't share with her. This made her feel very bad and she was very, very  unhappy.  She tried many times to talk to him about what was wrong but their conversations always turned into bitter arguments, with accusations and hurtful things being said and so she stopped even trying.

Then, one day the woman came home and the husband was gone. He had moved away and left her alone with their children. He simply left her a note that said he was sorry but he had to find the life that he wanted to live and he wished her well and hoped that she and the children would be okay.  She loved her children very much and she knew she had to be strong for them but still something inside of her just broke. She thought back to when she was a little girl and how she had wanted the world  to be filled with love. What a joke! All love had ever gotten her was a broken heart and many, many tears.  Everybody had been right.  And so, she made a wall around the hole in her heart to keep the hurting inside. She didn't realize that it also kept love from getting in.

After the husband left, the woman threw herself into her work and her children.  Everything that she did was for them. She knew that she was doing the right thing and she was proud of the fact that everyone praised her for her selflessness and dedication. Yet even though on the outside it appeared that things were very good, that place in her heart was cold and numb. She could still feel the ache of it all the time. She tried to fill the empty place with other things, things she had to buy. Only the more things that she acquired, the more alone she felt. 

Early one morning, the woman was standing in her bedroom, admiring a new outfit in the mirror. As she stared at her reflection, it all began to blur and suddenly, before her eyes, the little girl she had been once was staring back at her. The little girl's big blue eyes were no longer beautiful, because they were filled with so much pain and sadness. Then, in an instant, the vision disappeared and she was again looking at her own reflection. When she looked at it this time, she saw something completely different and she knew what she had to do to set her life right again.

Almost immediately after seeing this vision, she made a plan. She talked to both of her sons and it was decided that she and the younger one would take a long trip. The older son had his own life and was happy, so she knew that he would be fine while she was away. Her family and friends didn't understand why she was going away and she gave them no reason. She just said good bye to them all.

She and the younger son drove a long, long way, across the country and they saw many wonderful things together. It was the first time in many years that she felt truly free and happy. As they drove across the country, they shared many hours of conversation and companionship. Even though she had been a good mother to the boy, she had never really spent time like this with him and it was glorious!  The trip eventually took them to a very beautiful place. On a lonely beach, with the ocean wildly crashing on the shore, the wall around her  heart shuddered and she felt something give a little in its foundation.

In this beautiful place, she met an even more beautiful man who had the same blue eyes as she. And when she looked into those eyes,  she could see into both of their souls at once.  He had come to the wild place with a heart full of his own secrets.  But he was a magic man , who could ride the wild waves or go flying over them. He showed some of his power to the woman but never told her his secrets.

The woman would sit on the beach and watch the man and her son together and she knew peace for the first time in many, many years.  After a while, she became friends with the man and they spent many hours talking about things that she hadn't talked about in a very long time. It made her feel good to know that there was someone else who believed the same things that she believed in and who didn't think she was foolish. Then one day, he told her of his own broken love and she truly understood how he felt. Deep inside of her, that cold, numb place in her heart was filling with warmth and the wall was becoming weaker and weaker.

The man and the woman became lovers and for the first time in her life, she felt what it was like to love a man without reserve. Even though she had once loved the husband, there had always been something between them that kept her from feeling completely free in her love. With the man, it was different, perfect. Everything they did felt like pure joy! From an accidental brush of the fingertips to a lingering gaze, a tremor of love would course through her that was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Their connection was so deep that she began to feel like she was part of him and that he was part of her, that their souls were linked in some unexplainable way. She knew that the man was special because he would show her a little bit more of his magic every day and she began to have magic of her own again.  In time, her dreams came back to her.

For many years, the man and the woman lived together, first as lovers and then as husband and wife. There was something else unique about the man, besides his magic. He always told the truth, even if the telling of it was not always so kind. She loved him for his intelligence, his honesty, his gentleness and his strong heart. She always felt safe with him and most importantly, really and truly loved. She tried hard to be a better person because knowing that if someone as special as the man loved her, then she needed to be the person who deserved that love. It was hard for her sometimes, because she did not possess the same kind of magic as the man and sometimes she would fail. He laughed at her trials and at  her frustrations, but never in the way of malice or derision, so that she knew that even in her weakness and failure, he loved her still. Her
heart was so filled with his love that the last of the wall crumbled into dust and she felt its weight no more.

One day the man became very ill and the woman was beside herself with grief. She screamed and cried that God could not be so unfair as to take this good and gentle man away from her. But her cries to Heaven did no good. She decided to put away her selfishness and wished only to make the man happy but she didn't know how to go about doing it. Everyday, she tried to think of ways to bring some joy into his life, but failed at every attempt and she grew weary with the trying.

The man, too, was very sad much of the time and his pain began to take a toll on him.  His face became pale and gaunt, but no matter how much he  suffered, his clear blue eyes always shone with his love and the woman took heart in the fact that the man loved her still. She could not take away his pain but she could give him all the love in her heart, boundless and complete. The joy of her boundless love did make the man happy and they spent many hours in simple contemplation of that love.

For a long time, the man was sick and no matter what anyone tried to do, he began to fade away.Even with all the magic he possessed, he could not stop the disease. One day, when he knew that his time was growing short, he called the woman to his side and told her once more how he loved her, how they were one and the same and how they would be together always, if not in this earthly realm, then in the next one. They both truly believed that they were soul twins, destined to be together through eternity and linked forever and ever and she  took her comfort in that. 

His love had made her whole and complete and she was afraid she would be lost without him. She cried and cried when he finally left her but that place in her heart, the one that he had healed with his love, was bursting with warmth and light, like a tiny sun inside of her.  Her grief overwhelmed her  at first. The grief and pain was greater than she had imagined it might be. Soon, though, she came to realize that his magic was now inside of her and she knew that everyone around her could see his light shining through her, for all the world to see. She was again filled with his love and grace and vowed to live happily ever after, until they would be together once again.



(This is my own true love story.)
Dedicated to my sweet husband,
David William Ballard
December 15, 1959 - March 24, 2010)