Lost love

Overhead the sky darkens with the looming presence of a storm
as I sit with my chin in my hands, tears streaming down my face, staring out at the open fields of wheat.
Why do I feel such an overwhelming desire to run through those fields, screaming your name?
Why do you not love me?
Was there ever a time you did?
What is it about me that makes your stomach roll with the urge to vomit every time you look at me?
Am I not pretty enough?
Am I too fat?
Does my hair not quite fall the way that you think it should?
Pleasing you has become impossible.
Was it ever easy?
No.
In trying to be the woman you think I should, I have become someone I hate.
I'm tired.
I'm lonely.
I have aged a thousand years since knowing you.
The rain comes in heavy drops now.
It mixes with my salty tears.
As with our love the storm is over.
As the sun beats down on my weary shoulders.