A Fairytale

1

         I sat on the edge of the meadow, flowers tickling under my nose just yearning to be inhaled by one who could appreciate the intricate beauty they produced day after day to no avail.  Grasses swayed and danced with every wind that sang its music up and down the clearing, not caring if the wind was of a good or bad nature, only dancing because the music encased each blade with an eerie unseen beauty.  As night began it’s domain in time, the crickets found their way home and sang their happiness into the cool night air.  The stars peeked out to begin their dreary stay for the night, just as the moon lit its face upon the world.  With the grasses and crickets, flowers and all sorts of day goers now peacefully sleeping, I laid upon my bed of moss looking into the brilliant night sky.  In the few moments before I succumbed to sleeps call, a tinge of dread bubbled up from deep within my soul somewhere.  Now this was the sort of thing lays hidden when the brain stays distracted by the time and trials that fill the day, but as ones body and mind settle to the dormancy of sleep, thoughts such as these that lay deeply dormant find an opportunity to knock into consciousness.  I did not with to seize these thoughts of dread, so I quieted all once more and drifted into my fairytale sleep, where dread was not only never an occurrence, in fact it never existed. 



2

         I slept peacefully through the night until such a time as the dew began its magical appearance onto the Earth.  As the armies of dew collected together upon my eye lashes and formed a single drop that floated down my cheek and suck deeply into the ground, I awoke to the sweet morning call. 

         I went to the edge of the meadow, where I always sat to watch the world drift by before me in its drift less and lazy manner.  But as I sat upon my usual perch, I began to notice a distant change.  Across the clearing was a newly darkened spot.  It’s as if the sin forgot to paint its rays there.  Silly sun! How peculiar to lose sight of your own work.  Far better to forget another’s that your own! Ah, but in tomorrow correction can be found.  I say again, silly sun!  Though tomorrow, I am sure of it, the sun will correct its mistake, today I will go on as if nothing loomed in that darkened state.  I will overlook the animals that go in, but do not come out.  I will go on in my world, sure that with tomorrow this darkness will not transgress my serenity any longer;  for surely the sun will notice its mistake and while rightfully embarrassed by its oversight, will correct its blunder.

         The day progressed after the morning’s awkwardness in a correct manner.  I drove the usual into reality, blatantly ignoring the obvious signs that reared in front of me.  The day went in as it was, neither hot nor cold, up nor down only warm as the sun’s fingers upon my face.  I laughed as the flowers about me turned their faces downward in seemingly playful avoidance.  Even the grasses lay down and did not quite so often dance with wind’s song.  I took it all as a new game they were playing with me.  Silly meadow!  So the sun forgets to light one little spot and everyone turns into jokesters.  How funny all the little things are today. 

         As the day wound down to it’s last hours, I chuckled as I found my way to the sweet moss that held me to rest.  Such a funny day.  Oh, but with tomorrow normality will come.  As my heart slowed to the beat of the night drum, a cricket’s song faintly reached my ears.  It’s sad, a melancholy song that drifted through the air.  I t seemed to sing of a death the sunk slowly from the inside out.  I listened intently, until I pushed the reality he played far from me.  As I fell into sleep, I know tomorrow will be better. 



3

         Upon this mornings waking, my heart took in the sweet wonders around me as the sun swept up the scattered remains of the dew.  I made my way to my comfortable regular spot at the edge of the meadow, just as the sun made its grand arrival.  I closed my eyes and took in the sweet warmth that encased my surroundings.  With my eyes still closed, I could hear the animals chattering around me excitedly about the new day ahead.  I opened my eyes and took in the wondrous sight before me.  Everything was as it should be as I swept my eyes slowly from one end of the meadow to the other, and then I stopped.  There! That darkness was not only still impeding upon my utopia, it was bigger than yesterday!  It seemed almost darker, to mock me.  But was that possible?  When the darkness first was found in the meadow, I simply thought the sun was silly to have forgotten to light up a sliver of Earth.  But upon this morning’s rather shocking discovery I assume that cannot be the case.  Perhaps though, the sun is playing a joke on me and the meadows inhabitants.  In its restless and repetitive movements day by day, I assume it sought to find some particular difference in each passing minute of the day for a change, and found humor to be the solution.  Yes, that must be it.  Upon this revelation I cannot say that I can rightfully be annoyed at the sun for playing such a joke, for I might have done the exact same thing if left to be for such a time as that.  Far be it from me to judge such a lonely soul that can only find amusement in the tortured minds of others.  If anything, I should pity the sun.  You see, I can just leave and find another to share my life with if I should so wish, whereas the sun is stuck in its traveled path.  Oh pitiful sun, you leave a portion of dark to distract and frighten the poor meadow dwellers, but it does not effect me!  I see through your façade.  I see your cold loneliness inside, and I pity you for the attention seeking tactics you try to use merely drive the people and animals from you. 

         Oh dear sun, forget not this day, for we recognize your woes and hereby remind you that, lonely as you seem to be, we always will appreciate who you are and thank the Lord always for sending you to light our days.  Tomorrow let your light shine on all the meadow, and let not a need for forceful appreciation drive you away from our hearts. 

         With these words came the close of yet another day and I shuffled off to my bed of moss to sleep through the night once again.  Try as I might, I had trouble falling to sleep.  This has not happened since I came here.  You could say this was not a new experience for me, because I had to come from somewhere.  I have a history.  Just as the cloud comes from the water, that comes from the Earth, which came from the very hand of God, there is a past that is there within me.  Tonight something that has been hidden deep within my very soul came to haunt me.  It taunted my body out of sleep.  That night I did eventually fall into a restless sleep, but I tossed and turned all night. 



4

         The morning came all too soon.  My body was now weakened from the lack of sleep.  It was now louder than I have ever heard it.  There were new things coming up and speaking within.  Like hunger.  I was so hungry, but for what? I could remember eating, but there was this unsatisfied hunger that continued to grow within me.  To add to the unruly feelings happening within me, that darkness was still there.  In fact, it had over taken the whole meadow.  My home has been taken.  Nothing moved within it.  Nothing stirred.  No sounds were emitted, and no movement could be seen in the endless darkness that consumed my home. 

         I fell to my knees at the edge of the meadow where I spent so much of my life as I had known it.  All of the fury, all of the pain, all of the hurt, all of the swollen nothingness within me came out in bursts.  I heaved under the pressure of a forsaken world.  I convulsed under the pain that filtered through me.

         I lay in a puddle of my own tears and vomit.  There I fell into an agonizing sleep.  When I woke, the darkness had engulfed everything I had known.  Still present and never leaving, I stood on my two shaky legs. 

         With this darkness I could not stay here.  If I tried to I would surely die.  With heavy legs and heart my tears flowed so freely as I walked away from my life, and everything that I had known.  I knew no where I could go, so I just went.  I walked day in and day out, circles and lines, ups and downs; never finding what I sought.  Though I ate, my hunger still raged.  I felt empty inside.  My heart was missing somewhere. Maybe that was what I was seeking?  Maybe that is what I hungered for so greatly.

         As I walked I had nothing to do but think.  All I knew was gone, so thoughts just made the pain more real.  I couldn’t help but wonder where this darkness had come from.  The sun. I blamed the sun for so many days, but I had not thought this out so logically.  Why, after all these years, would it do such a thing?  What else could?  Under subjection of the Lord God, nothing was above His rules and precepts, and yet I choose to blame His creation for this.  What had changed in the meadow?  When I had first come there, I was just a little girl.  My parents left me there, saying I had to be good now.  They told me to be good and be a big girl.  I was so confused, but I quickly settled into the comfort of the meadow.  Oh the meadow, it was gone now! Sad losses!  One would think this came suddenly, but inside I wonder if I did not foresee the darkness.

         I know that there were subtle changes to the environment, but I choose to ignore them.  I know that a while ago, that hunger began, but out of human fear, I put it in a box and buried it far into my hidden mind, so that not even I could find it again.  I did not want to find change, for what good is there in that?  Everything would be different, oh God!  The Darkness, it was not any one creatures fault; it was mine.  I brought it by hiding the truth.  I covered up what needed to be uncovered.  The darkness was not brought by the creatures, but came from inside me.  I condemned all around me because of my selfishness. 

“Oh my God!” I screamed, “Have mercy!!!”

With every breath I had I cried out.  This hunger was eating me away from the inside out, I had no home, and not from someone else, but from my own folly.  How long did I have to remain in this state?  Would I die here?  I deserve death.  The beauty that surrounded and protected me for all that time was gone-because of me.

I fell asleep in a torrent of emotion.  I was unable to lift even an eye lid to cry anymore.  My strength was gone.  I knew this was my last night.  Tonight, I die.

 

5

         As my eyes fluttered open, a bright light swept over my soul.  Is this it?  Had I died?  Where am I?  Without speaking I sat up.  I was in a bed.  It was magnificent, with linens of lace and pure white covering all over.  Surely I had died.  There was not a person in sight.  I stood up, and found I was dressed in a magnificent robe of pure white.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever wore, or even seen.  It was shocking.  Just that night before I had been on the brink of total destruction, and now here I was clothed in beautiful garments. 

         I walked outside to try and find out where I was.  The palace was amazing.  Words could not describe this place with much justice.  Gold, silver, and precious stones covered every piece.  I walked past what seemed to be a sea of bronze baths.  How amazing they were.  Beyond them were a set of steps.  I carefully went up them.  Something within the building drew me.  As I got closer and closer, the hunger inside of me quivered.  I entered a place walled on all sides.  There were two gates there before me.  The hunger drove me forward, so I went through the right gate and continued on. 

           I felt like I was in some secret place.  I went as far as I could.  There was one last curtain to go through.  It was big and heavy, but the hunger drove me on.  As I entered that place, It shined with beauty.  Beyond all the colors, and precious metals, there in the center sat a man on a golden seat, adorned with cherubim’s.  Blood covered the seat, but somehow I was not scared.  This is what the hunger sought! I understood!

I ran into the waiting arms of this man, of this savoir.  I had died, all alone in the darkness, but he had saved me!  He saw me in the darkness, he heard my cries, and even though I tried to survive in my own strength, he still came and saved me, but it was not without sacrifice.  That blood on the thrown came from him.  I could see it seeping from wounds.  I knew he had gotten them saving me.  Oh how I am humbled.  I am just a girl, yet he gave himself for me.  How beautiful he was in my eyes.  Somehow I know this is my new meadow, but not like the old. This was perfect.  It would never die, for why would one who gave himself for me when I did not know him, do any less now that I do? No, I know that he will always be there, watchful and loving.  Loving. Loving.