The Lip

The cat doesn't respect me. He respects my boyfriend, Brian. But Brian's had him since he was a kitten. Brian's had years to instill fear. Brian has no quams about yelling, swatting, hissing, chasing, flicking, and emotionally abusing the cat. The cat bites Brian and immediately runs. The cat bites me and I apologize.  There's a hierarchy in this craphole of an apartment and the cat thinks he and I are on the same level.

From what I can recollect, Brian has never yelled, swatted, hissed, chased, flicked or emotional abused me. However, Brian does feed me, water me, rub my feet, and drag colorful toys along the floor for me to chase. This could be why the cat thinks he and I are one and the same. Or it could be because I allow the cat to do anything he wants. Crawl across my computer? Excuse me, Kitty. Lie down on my book? Sure, I'll scratch your ears. Lie at my feet so I can't stretch out and develop a cramp and when I move him, he yowls and tries to bite me? Goddammit, he's adorable.

I love him because he's covered in soft cuddly fur. I love him because he sits in my lap and stabs me with his "happy paws". I love him because he scratches the shit out of me when I play with him. I love him because he bites me when I pet him. I love him because he stares at me real creepy-like in the mirror when I'm getting ready. I love him because he hides around corners and stalks me. I love him because if he was the size of a tiger, he would maul and kill me. My love for the cat is unconditional. Then his lip began to swell.

I noticed it last night. And then this afternoon - boom. Full on Bubba Gump Shrimp lip (Remember? The character Bubba from Forrest Gump? Had a huge lower lip? Everybody got that? Great.). Or like he got a collagen injection. I called Brian and told him. Brian didn't care. But he did perk up at the thought of taking the cat to the vet and scoring cat tranquilizers.

I assumed my love for this cat is purely aesthic. He's pretty. He's soft. He's entertaining to watch. All of that is null and void with this recent development. I know a thing or two about facial swellings. I've had many different areas of my face swell up. From my lip to my eye to my cheek to my neck....well, all of it has swelled up at least once or twice. Various reasons have caused these disfigurements - abcessed teeth to allergies to mono to infected tonsils. Everytime friends or family saw me with my swollen features, their reaction is the same. They recoil in horror. Brian was different, though. He never recoiled. He always asked if I received any Vicodin prescriptions.

While the sight of the cat's lower lip is disturbing and disgusting, I try not to recoil. Even though it is really gross. It looks like his tongue is protruding. But it's not. It's just the inside of his lip turned outside. God, that's gross....so....gross.

Actually, I love this cat because I fear him. And this is just another aspect to fear.