A Far Fetched Fleeing

It was arid and dark, the cold steel walls standing in front of her obstinately. She was all by herself in this small room, one that even an errant stray would not fancy. There was an effluvium of feces, urine, vomit and smoke, indicating someone had inhabited the place before and it was definitely not a thrilling experience, to say the least. Four hard steel walls and a sealed window governed her movement. Sophitia’s mind wandered to her family. How would Pyrrha and Patrokolos defend themselves against the sheer power of Soul Edge without her around, much less see to the daily needs of the family? What about Rothion and her elderly mother? It seemed like an eternity since Soul Edge’s acolytes had used the number’s game against her, the Omega Sword did not have the range to take on all of them at once. With her capture, Cassandra was left in the wilderness and she put the blame squarely on herself for falling to the laggards letting her sister worry.

Tears began rolling down her cheek. They first came like a sluggish river, then like a torrential monsoon. As her vision became blurred by anguish, a voice hollered, “Dinner’s served.” The apathetic guard told her, “No use weeping, lady. You won’t be leaving this perimeter any time soon.” It was a modest meal, high on fiber and low on actual protein, featuring simple vegetables and gruel. Sophitia ate lethargically, fresh thoughts of her family on her mind.

Sophitia slept fitfully, and woke up at the crack of dawn. A piece of silver lay so prominently on the hard floor that a magpie would have been tempted to fly in to this dilapidated dungeon. It was within reach for the Greek maiden and her face beamed almost instantly. Walking out furtively, she could see the amber glow of the sun. As it turned out, the guard had abandoned his duty by leaving the all-important key to her room within sight. He was on a drunken rage, a man possessed and it was conspicuous that the languid guard had not risen. The key was perfect for the keyhole. To the guard’s horror half an hour later, the stunning maiden had bailed. It was Code Red for all the acolytes and they moved out swiftly.

Meanwhile, Sophitia rushed out to a new dawn, exuberant at the fact she was finally able to meet her family in Athens again. However, this was just a molehill in her mountain of problems. The forest outside the jailhouse was hard to maneuver through, and her sphincter was on Code Red as well. The trepidation of relieving in front of the guard for nearly 5 days had run its course, and now it was returning to haunt her. Sophitia dashed at light speed as she sought sweet relief while clutching her weary abdomen. Meanwhile, the physically superb marauders were catching up. “Look, footsteps!” one of them cried. The guards followed the trail, knowing that it was almost a done deal as they were no greenhorns in traversing the forest.

Meanwhile, Sophitia let out rancid fart after rancid fart, and then heaved a sigh of relief when she saw no guard on her heels. She continued to canter towards certain safety. As she edged closer to safety, so did her bowels edge closer to release. She knew she was running out of time to dump the motherload, and would have to relieve herself in the forest if need be. Suddenly, she gasped in horror. She had taken a wrong turn and had returned to where she was 5 minutes ago. The second hand continued to siphon off precious time, and her butt cheeks were tightly clenched, with every dying second it was less likely she was going to make it with clean panties.

As Sophitia struggled to find closure, she was in the dark that the troops were in the vicinity. Exhausted by the constant encumbrance on her rectum, she decided to settle the issue by relieving in the forest like a wild animal. Removing her white panties precipitously, she squatted down and signaled the start of relief with a booming fart. It was not long before she heard the distinctness of guards marching. The first log had just turtle-headed, but Sophitia couldn’t care less about imminent danger. Pulling up the cotton as promptly as she settled it at her ankles, she bolted towards a tree with a sizable canopy, and began climbing it.

The guards soon tracked her down, but Sophitia’s footsteps were lighter in the later part of the journey, indicating her sudden relief. Therefore, the guards had no clue of her surroundings. “Scrutinize the area!” the lieutenant yelled. The guards covered the area warily. The rearguard covered the area faster than a group of aphids would cover a young plant. Sophitia knew very well if she did not do something fast, the guards would be on her like a pack of wolves. It was an unorthodox way to dispel the party, but she tried it anyway.

As one of the guards surveyed the tree with a huge canopy, he was met with a rude shock, a gush of fluid hitting him right smack in the helmet. The guard was terrified and quickly removed his helmet. As the guards pointlessly debated about what the gush could have been, Sophitia smiled. Plan 1 had worked to perfection. Now, it was the 2nd plan that mattered more. “It was revolting! I had never seen such a gush before!” the victim exclaimed. “Get back to work!” the lieutenant hollered.

Two more guards surveyed the tree for any abnormality. In an instant, two more guards became shell-shocked. Sophitia had been making ‘earth’, and only she pre-empted what happened to the poor guard. The force of the sword’s quickdraw caused a brown loaf to land on his face, and his scream was even higher than a girl’s!

“I’m unfazed,” said the lieutenant. I will show you what a real army dog has been through.” As soon as he stepped to the fore, a similar log greeted him. Before he could even utter a word, another turd made it’s way down, landing on the commander’s squeaky-clean boot. The visibly quivering leader felt his self-esteem shatter like a crystal ball. Nevertheless, he was in for more, as mushy feces landed on him like it had just rained fertilizer. The lieutenant rivaled the earlier soldier’s scream, heading for the hills, as did the others.

As she wiped her hardworking hole, Sophitia thought, “This will be what you get if you threaten my family!” She knew that those ill-stricken men would not step near the forest ever again. The marigold sun shined even brightly now on the Greek maiden, as she continued on his journey.