Dear Me

My life is at a stand still and I don't know which way too turn. It seems like everyone else's life is on point. But me, I'm still searching for me . The me that I know is deep
dowm within. I try to make the best of my days with smiles on my face and laughter in my voice and it works for a while. Then there are days like these where I want to cry all day, curled up in a ball. These days where my smiles are fake and my laughter is limited.

At this point in my life, I try to figure things out on my own. And what I figure is that everything happens for a reason. "But why me"? is a question I ask often but never hear an answer. Everything around me seems so hard to do and others aren't worth trying. And yet there seems to be hope in my furture but I have yet to see it. The light is way too far and the work is way too hard to do to reach that bright light. Then a day like this comes to view. A day success is not far away but yet it's out of reach . My smiles are fake and laughter is limited.

Sitting here staring at the walls, my heart begins to race and fear steps in. My eyes are red and swollen from crying. My head hurts from the pain, the pain I've endure but never let go. My feelings today, as I sit here with smiles fake, laughter limited, success out reach, and staring at the walls my heart racing and fear stepping in. I feel that I've given up and let my life turn upside down for one set back. Instead of trying I let defeat take over.

Now, I say to myself , now I need not to feel this way. My life is not over and as I figure that out, I remember the people before me. The people before that went through pain and never complained. So should I, just and I'm starting today. I just realize that the things that that don't kill me, makes me stronger.

Now my smile is real , my laughter is without limit, success is within reach; and I'm staring at the sky, my heart is at ease and fear has has stepped aside. Defeat no longer lives here. And so now I hold my head up high, determined to be something out of life. No longer letting anyone or thing stand in my way. This is my letter to myself and I'll hold this dear to my heart.