Without you

He pleaded guilty, he wouldn’t lie about it. He had killed her. Was it really killing . . . more like stopping her pain, ending her suffering.

Their courtship wasn’t like anyone else‘s. He had broken her heart first and then made it up to her. Once he realized the mistake he had made after their conversation in the park, he made it his mission to show her that he loved her. They were married a year and a half later. A ceremony on the beaches of home, surrounded by her 8 brothers and his younger sister and parents; two years after that their beautiful baby boy was born; Presley Manning.

It was six years later when his world fell apart . . . driving home; 6 months pregnant his Tara had been struck by a drunk driver. Although wearing her seat belt the impact rolled her car, slamming her head into the car frame. He rushed to her side, leaving their little boy with a neighbor.

She was coherent, talking to him; smiling and joking with him until she fell silent and the seizure hit. It was that moment he lost her . . . and their little girl.

She suffered after that; unable to speak, unable to do more then blink, she was trapped in her own body; the seizures pained her, he knew this. They kept her drugged up, his poor Tara suffering day and night, until he finally could not take it anymore. Their wedding night he promised to take care of her, to never let any harm come to her as long as he drew breath . . . she was being harmed.

When he wasn’t at her side, he was at church praying for her or with his son, a spitting image of her. His parents arrived, supporting him as did her brothers. It wasn’t the same, not without the woman he loved more then life itself.

It was one night, sitting at her bedside, her older brother joined him. They talked about the good times, they talked about her childhood; they talked, and kept talking until they took one look at her, and knew, she would never have wanted to live like this. It was then that he made his decision.

It wasn’t hard for him to find a way, before reaching over and shutting off the heart monitor, he had locked the door when he first entered, he injected her putting her to sleep . . . before dying in his arms.

He was arrested right there at her bedside, but he knew she was already on her way to heaven, she would never see him. He wasn’t ashamed of what he had done, what he knew needed to be done.
They had let him go to her funeral; her family and his still at his side supporting him; although their friends couldn’t believe what they had done, nor did they seem to understand. Jack had approached him at the funeral; he had taken a shot to the jaw, knocking him hard to the ground. All Bobby could do was stare at him, knowing his friend gave him only a portion of what he deserved.

As they started to lead him away, he heard his son call out to him, getting his attention.

“I hope they Kill you . . .” He spat. “I hope you go to Hell.”

Bobby dropped his head and let the guards lead him away; knowing that they had made the right choice choosing to have Jack and Sue Hudson share custody of their son with Tara’s older brother; he knew they would raise him right.

They locked him in a room with other inmates, and yet not one of them bothered him, they seemed to almost welcome him into their graces . . . graces he wanted nothing to do with. He just wanted his Tara back; not the Tara that had been laying in the bed, but the one . . . the one he had before the accident had taken her from him. Life became a routine for him, spending his time, in the library reading, in the chapel praying’ and most of all by himself, talking to her.

Bobby pleaded guilty to the charges that they read
As they led him from the courtroom
A young voice turned his head
A little boy dressed in blue, was standing at the rail
He said, “I hope they kill you, I hope you go to hell”
They locked Bobby in jail with forty other men
They all knew what he had done
And they were glad to take him in
They’d all seen the headlines about Bobby and his wife
How they loved each other, and how he took her life
Day after day, he sat alone
Night after night, they’d hear him sing his song (he’d sing)

[chorus]
Baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never let you down
No harm will ever come to you as long as I'm around
I am not afraid of what people say or do
The only thing I fear is being here, without you

As the years went by and Presley grew, he had a hard time understanding why his father had done what he had done. It took him nearly 25 years later before he finally understood the his father’s reasoning, why he took the life of the woman they both loved so much. Why he had to grow up with out his mother; why his daddy had taken her away from them.
The night after his daughter was born, named after her grandma, Tara Lyn Manning . . . he went home from the hospital, pulling out the old trunk he had kept beneath his bed. The trunk of the newspaper articles, the photographs, and of course, his mother’s journal he had always kept. The years seem to just disappear as he read the story of the accident that took his mom’s mind, how much his Daddy had loved his mom and how he took her life. He read her Journal finding a passage on how she would hate to be alive but not really alive, how she had shared her wishes with her family, with her husband before finally turning to the article written five years ago about the man who sat alone, night after night, talking to his mama.

The little boy dressed in blue, grew up to be a man
When he fell in love himself, he came to understand
How it was that Bobby took the life they both adored
Cause Bobby couldn’t stand to see her suffer anymore
He took out the papers from the trunk beneath his bed
And all the years just disappeared
As through his tears, he read
The stories of the accident that robbed his Mama’s mind
the man who held her in his arms and chose to cut the line
And the one about the man who sits alone
Year after year, singing his song

[chorus]
Baby, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never let you down
No harm will ever come to you as long as I'm around
I am not afraid of what people say or do
The only thing I fear is being here, without you

On the anniversary of his mother’s death, he stopped at her grave, leaving a bundle of baby’s breath for his sister before moving to his mother’s head stone. “Mama. I have been a fool, I was so mad for so long . .. Daddy took me away from you . . . but your granddaughter made me finally understand . . .”

He left there, driving with a purpose, he pulled up outside the gate; going through the motions, he was led to a small gray, lifeless room where he was told to wait
When the guards brought in his daddy, he knew. . . He knew.

His daddy wasn’t the same man, sure still tall, but his once large, bulky frame, was now slender and hunched. His hair now gray and his eyes had dulled over the years. His daddy seemed shocked to see him, the son he hadn’t seen in 26 years.

When the guard left them alone, he reached for his father, taking him in his arms and whispering to him

“Daddy, I’ll take care of you, I’ll never let you down. No harm will ever come to you as long as I’m around. You have taught me not to fear what people say or do. The only thing that hurts is being here, without you.”

The young man drove his car up and parked outside the gate
They lead him to a cold grey room, the guard told him to wait
When the guard brought Bobby in, the young man finally knew
He still missed his mama, but he missed his Daddy too
when the guard left the two of them alone
He took Bobby in his arms, and the young man sang the song

Daddy, I'll take care of you, I'll never let you down
No harm will ever come to you as long as I'm around
You have taught me not to fear what people say or do
The only thing that hurts is being here, without you


He put the wheels in motion after that, pleading to the DA to the Governor, before he finally got his father paroled. He wanted his father to get to know his granddaughter before it was too late. Driving his father home, he led him in the door, to the group of waiting people . . . his uncles, his father’s sister, and even his great grandparents from down under. But the biggest reunion was of the two best mates . . . Jack pulled Bobby into his arms, holding him close; they cried. It wasn’t until Jack had finally married Sue that he finally understood why Bobby had done what he had done.

The next day; his parents wedding anniversary Presley took his father to see his mother. He watched as his father knelt at her grave, resting a hand on the stone, and cried. Laying a hand on his father’s back, he felt his own tears slip down his face as they cried for the woman they both loved with all their hearts.