The Crossing

I paced along the route of the old rusty tracks. I was simply following their lead. I didn’t know my where. Wasn’t sure I cared, as long as it was away. Away from all the screaming, the deafening explosion in my ears, the sirens…

My head hunched between my shoulders, I was thinking, trying hard to forget, more not to remember. My hands buried in my jacket pockets shook, it was growing cold but, that wasn’t the reason for my uncontrolled shivers. Hopefully, the night air would help numb my mind. Make all the memories of tonight disappear. My breath spread out in a heavy fog before me. The only sound was the crunch of gravel shifting underfoot. It was quiet.

“Why not do it?” Alixe asked me, ruining the near peacefulness, “You know you want to.”

I ignored her, kicking up some of the gravel, a spray of gray in the fading light. She walked beside me. Even if I had wanted to answer her, my head was shot. My mind reeled and spun in a mash of confused feelings and thoughts. Ultimately, they led to a dull, numb core. Bitterly, it reminded me of my existence.

I sat at the bend, now deep in the countryside. I stared the rough, orange-brown metal rail in silence. Alixe sat next to me, smoothing her black dress. She leaned towards me, persistent.

“Come on,” she said, encouraging as all hell, “Do it.”

“Fuck off…” I grumbled through clenched teeth.

This made her smile. Pure white teeth concealed her malicious mockery. I glared over at her. Her perfect looks… the blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin, and that smile. All tools she used to swindle her way into getting what she wanted. I knew all her looks too well. The coy flip of hair, the too innocent smile, the batting of those beautiful black lashes…. All lies, tricks, mind games. She was… conniving. In all senses of the word. She lied, cheated, stole, and worst of all she killed, got inside your head, messed with your mind like some sick game. She was the worst sort of person you could ever hope to meet.

I turned away in disgust.

“V.” she purred in my ear, smooth sweet ecstasy.

I pulled the maroon hood of my jacket over my head, drawing the strings tight.

“No.” I told her once, firmly through the thick fabric.

She just grinned at me, as if she knew something I didn’t.

I did every possible thing I could to ignore her.

I sang to myself. Tried to focus on something else, anything. None of it worked for me. Finally unable to take her company I screamed.

“Go away! You stupid whore! I hate you! Leave me alone!”

I sprung up, running along the side of the railway. I couldn’t stand her voice echoing in my head for another second. I had to distance myself from her. Every thing that had happened up until this point had been her fault. I wouldn’t let her talk me into this final step. I couldn’t. It was just too easy to fall into.