I wish

i wish
i could see you smile
i wish
i could hear you laugh
no one has for many a day
it's my fault
i hang my head

i wish you'd look away
and turn your head
for i cant help to see your eyes
your crying eyes
your pleading eyes
your loving eyes

it hurts me
to hurt you
i wish you wouldn't let me
but you do
everyday

it hurts worse at night
it hurts much worse at night
everynight
its inevitable
i deserve it
you don't deserve it
please don't think you deserve i

the first one i loved
the first one i lost
my own fault
my own stupid fault

too scared to hold on
too afraid to let go
and be left with nothing
and to leave you with nothing

i deserve it
you don't deserve it
please don't think you deserve it

could have been efferent
should have been different
could have said no
should have said no
would have saved a lot of pain

but was it worth it?
we loved
didn't we?
didn't I?
was i mistaken?
mistaking the feelings i felt?
perhpas

no
it was real
i think it was real
i believe it was real
but thinking and believing
are different than feeling
so much different than feeling

days go by
i can feel them flhying
how original of me
finally free
finally solo
finally lonely
finally crying

but each morning the sun rises again
so far it has
and it has for millions of years
so i have faith it will tomorrow
and the next day
if i'm lucky enough
i'll be here to see it

you and i
we see the same sunrise
we look to the same moon
we count the same stars
but we see them so differently.