Soul Mates??

February. Has anyone noticed that there is nothing good about February? It’s cold and snowy which is bad enough as it is, but the sun has also decided to shun this dreary, dark month. It’s just far enough after the holiday season that the warm and fuzzy is all wearing off, and the next holiday isn’t for months. It’s really just quite depressing. So what does the commercial market decide to do? Invent a holiday. Valentines Day. And to be perfectly honest, and quite a bit bitter I’ll admit, this holiday has never meant squat to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those complete cynics who believes it can never be anything more but a commercial holiday with no real meaning, oh no. I’m actually a hopeless romantic at heart. My problem is that I have simply never had a reason to celebrate. I have never had a boyfriend on Valentines Day...until this year. I do believe that it can be more if you are with someone you love and choose to celebrate each other. If can be beautiful as long as it comes from the heart, for the right reasons.



Countless reruns of romantic comedies and old classics have been flooding my TV, and numerous articles on how to find your perfect match and what you should wear for him have been filling the pages of every magazine. But wasn’t it to my surprise when I found a poll about soul mates in Alternative Press. Go figure. They simply asked do you believe in soul mates? 54% of the readers polled said yes. They also featured some responses from both readers and musicians. I have to say, most of the comments, even for those who I think ultimately would vote yes, were a bit pessimistic. I think one of the biggest downers was from Vincent Bennett from The Acacia Strain. He said, ” I don’t believe in souls, and I don’t think humanity is individual enough to be characterized in a way that would distinquish people from one another. Everyone has and is a certain “type”, and all someone needs to do is find a match. There isn’t that one person out there for you. Give that bullshit up.” Way to believe in individuality, Vinny, or even an intellectual being for that matter the way it sounds like you judge it. Of course some were a bit more positive. Take Josh Hubberman for example from Another Day Late. ” I believe in soul mates, but I’m not sure if there is just one for everyone. I believe that you can meet someone and feel that undeniable “something” from the start. It all just clicks in such a way that you feel like there’s no possibility that you were put here for anyone but each other. People take different paths in life-some are lucky enough to run into a soul mate on that path.” I think this moder, multiple-soul-mate idea is pretty common. And all this talk of love and soul mates got me thinking about what I believe.



I have ever been over-my-heels in love with anyone before now. And as far as soul mates go, I do believe they exist. There are so many people in this world, how can there not be? There is definitely more than one for each person. But just because you are soul mates does not mean that you will live happily ever after. You still need to work on your relationship together. Perheps that is part of why there is more than one for you?  I also believe in fate and destiny. Please do not get this confused with predestination because that I firmly do not believe. But being in the right place at the right time, those little magical accidents and coincidences, those I believe in with all my heart. (Can you tell "Serendipity" is one of my favorite movies?) You are not predestined, but you are sent little signs along the way. It is how you interpret those signs that will determine the path you take.



Clearly, we are more of a cinical, or at least less mystical, generation today. Maybe we are just more realistic. I think Jake Bundrick (Mayday Parade) put it quite well. ” I believe soul mates existed back in the 40? and 50’s because love seemed more genuine. It seems like people today are more about “hooking up”. Maybe people in the past were concerned with that too, but what I notice now are liars and cheaters all looking for that one thing: ass.” It’s true that there is nothing comparable to the love in those old black and white films. But there could be. We need to stop being so pessimistic and cynical. We need to stop being so shallow and superficial. People today have such an overblown self image. Stop being ridiculous and get rid of your impossible standards. I once heard a quote that you are where you want to be in a relationship. If you are alone and miserable, then it’s because you want to be alone and miserable. This may sound harsh, but really think about it. When you begin to appreciate yourself, and have your act together, and are really ready to be in a relationship and responsible somewhat for another human beings emotions, that is when you’ll find someone. It really is quite true. I am currently single, and I have realized it’s because I really want to be. It will all happen when it’s meant to happen. Relax. Stop buying into the bullshit this culture feeds you. Be your own black and white movie.

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you find the one whose hands just fit.