Dear Me

Dear Me,

It is hard to believe that it’s 2009 but we are going to have an amazing adventure this year. Two years ago, we set a single goal – to return to College.  Together, we have done wonderfully in school and I am so proud of our met goal! Last year we agreed on two goals, to move into a better apartment and to start a home business. Both were accomplished and significant growth was gained from the experience.

Our goal this year is singular, but it requires three separate and ongoing changes to ensure success.  Because I know us, I am confident we’ll pull this off. Our goal for this year is to ENJOY LIFE! Not to live it or survive it or to exist through it, but to actually enjoy it. I know it sounds simple, but this will take all of our combined effort.

Quite frankly, we both have a bit of drama queen in us and tend to add more to our own stress levels than anything else. So the first step is to de-stress life. More focus on the little things that make our day worth living. To do this let’s stop obsessing over every little bit of drama that comes our way. Life is not perfect and it never will be. It’s really about actively focusing on what we have and letting the imperfections take a back seat for a change. We have a nice home, a healthy and happy child, a loving and playful puppy, good friends, a job to earn rent and some semblance of health. Compared to many, we have it made and need to appreciate that without continually asking for more. 

The best gage of success in this area would be to measure vocal volume. When upset, some of us tend to get a little shrill and a touch louder of voice than normal. That may be a bit of an understatement, but I’m trying not to hurt either of our feelings. Screaming at the youngster for doing jumping jacks two feet behind us while we are trying to finish a term paper really isn’t good for our combined blood pressure. It will not kill either of us to turn around and calmly ask her to play elsewhere and engage her in conversation for a few minutes. The paper will still get finished and no one will be screaming. Right now, I would estimate that we raise our voice at least 3 times a day; this is most likely at least part of why some of us are prone to migraines. I expect that number to decrease by one within 3 months and by another within 6 months. Even with a seven year old running rampant through the house with her puppy in tow, we should not yell more than once a day.

Our second goal is closely related to the first, but with the emphasis on physical well being. It is time to admit that neither of us is getting any younger and the years have taken their toll on our health. This could be a tricky one since we both have issues with the words “diet” and “exercise”. I recommend a tricky tactic on this since some of us are our own worst enemy.  Instead of going on a diet, we will ensure a well rounded meal for the little one. Our usual habit of saving the leftovers for her while we microwave a frozen dinner for ourselves will be replaced with our actually eating with her. We just need to remember that this is a great way to bond more closely with the child while keeping in mind that if it’s good enough for her it’s good enough for us. Fair is fair! 

The exercise portion of this goal will be placed on the youngster and her puppy. They have been looking a little chunky lately and lying on the couch watching movies all evening is not good for either of them. They need to go to the park next door daily to get fresh air and burn some energy. Since no neighborhood is completely safe, we will have to go with them and while they play we need to walk around the park repeatedly to ensure their safety. I understand it is winter and this is Michigan, but we have proper winter attire and the puppy enjoys playing in the snow. Starting today, we will spend no less than 15 minutes a day in the park. In the spring that will double, by Summer I expect it will triple and increase to twice a day and we will maintain that through the fall.

While neither of us believes in scales and measuring tapes, we will be able to gage our success by our ability to complete these walks without panting or gasping for air (we really need to rethink the smoking thing… maybe next year). The fit of our clothes will help determine if calories are being burnt effectively and some of us need to make a point of not returning from a walk and throwing ourselves on the couch while begging for some water. It really isn’t becoming and I suspect the child is secretly laughing at us when that happens.

The third and final step to enjoying life is to gain control of our finances. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of this “single mom syndrome” that assures we will forever live in poverty. We really need to assume a more aggressive control of the checkbook and stop convincing ourselves that trips to the bookstore require the full balance of the checking account. The economy is horrible, work is admitting they are in trouble and support has been sporadic at best. There is a child to take care of and that must be kept in mind at all times. Effective immediately, we will start stashing money away for emergencies. Once there is at least $1,000 saved we can begin hording money for next Christmas. It’s important to stockpile some canned goods and dry goods in this house and make no more purchases without a valid reason. I am very serious about this! We both have had issues with saving money in the past, but there is no longer any excuse.

I expect the checkbook to actually have a positive balance by the end of February and it WILL remain positive. The emergency savings begins with the income tax refund check and after that it needs to increase by no less than $50 a check. There is no reason not to have the emergency fund saved by March and have $500 saved for Christmas by June. I would really like for us to manage to double those figures by the end of the year, but I am trying to be reasonable and I know how you can’t resist buying toys for the munchkin.

I have every confidence that by achieving these three goals together, a more peaceful state of mind as well as a greater appreciation for the life we have been blessed with will follow. Life is an evolution and if we don’t both consciously work towards a better sense of self neither of us will never truly be happy. It’s a shame it took 42 years to figure that out, but now that we have there is no turning back.

Thank you in advance for your support of this year’s endeavors and I am sure we will be talking to ourselves soon about that smoking thing for next year. That stubborn streak of yours is formidable, but I am just as stubborn as you are. 

Yours in success,
Me