Pouring it out

Only the lonely can say that I managed to involuntarily let this feeling of deeply missing you creep its way back in again. Doesn’t matter how hard I try to block it out, like blossoms scattered by the wind, thoughts of you make my mind wander back in time, which honestly, I rather not have right now. Only wishing that you can hear my heart beat from a thousand miles…

On nights like this, remembering the love we nurtured within these walls. I exhaust myself trying to keep this struggle to numb, where as certain places I just do not succeed numbing at all.

Tracing our footsteps, I endure memories of us holding hands as we walked these broken streets in the cool midnight breeze yet feeling so warm in your arms, flashing intensely before my eyes. Remembering our journey through this quiet little town, and that bustling night-life of a city, I sigh deeply tonight, attempting to extract some logic out of this stomach-churning agony originating from my heart.

I whisper softly to myself, reciting word by word the poem you casted by the river, where you kissed me under the lightning sky and made me cry.

So farewell for now love
I’m already long gone
but you work for the people
and our love will go on

I think we deserve it
I think God’s on our side
He’s gonna forgive me
for the fact that I lied

Promised to be faithful
in a Muslim world
But fell headlong in love girl
The truth has unfurled

Its winds gonna blow us
up ‘gainst the tide
On soft banks it will land us
Our hands will be tied

In matrimony be wedded
Mother-nature our guide
It is the age of Aquarius
Yes ‘tis is our time

I am a person of hope, not wishful thinking, believing that a love like ours can only grow stronger in time. In the mistiness of our tears, we vowed to see each other again.

September 2005