The Demons Of Love

The Demons Of Love

Close your eyes. Think about happiness. What is the first image that came to your mind? What is it you just wished? What is it that would make you happy? Expensive cars? An amazing holiday in Jamaica? Becoming the world's most wanted pop star? Or a movie star? Finding the love of your life? Or winning that love back? Or just a simple afternoon coffee-time and cookies with friends? A big scoop of chocolate chip ice-cream? What is it that makes us want certain things? How do we decide what would make us happy? It's the simple crave, the need that kills your guts and makes you fight for what you want, makes you find it hard to live without it, makes it worse every single day, eats you out and kills you piece by piece until you're completely destroyed. We adjust our happiness with our needs and we're never pleased with what we get. Sometimes, we want more than we know we deserved, sometimes we underrate ourselves and take the consolation prize even when we were capable of taking the trophy home.
Life is made out of battles and wars. Life is made of victories and losses, and most of all standing up with your head high after a loss and finding the strength to fight another battle until the victory.
Bertrand Russell once wrote: To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
Is love really our guiding force? Do we really determine everything in our lives based on love? It can be love for a boy, a girl, a place, a song, love for what was and love for what will be and most of all the love for what is. Does that love really exist or did we make it up so we can believe there's something bigger and greater than us, simple humans, something that makes us better, crazier, ready for anything? Did we create an illusion so we can push our own limits? I do not know. What I do know is that it's true that all the strongest emotions are tightly connected to that one so simple, yet so complicated - love.

Pain.
Sharp, unbearable, hard pain. Do we find something positive in it? Do we enjoy torturing ourselves with the suffering and regret and naked pain or do we try to run from it but it always finds each and every one of us? Or do we find pain ourselves? There's something about that feeling of misery, loneliness, agony, and suffer that makes us feel human. Maybe that's what makes us human. That weakness. There's no person that's never felt the pain. The pain of seeing someone you love with someone else, the pain of knowing you're not loved back, the pain of being dumped, the pain of being cheated… the pain of love.

Regret.
Why do we usually regret our choices? Why do we tend to call a mistake something that once made us smile, ear to ear, something that made us believe, something that made us happy? Why is one bad moment, one bad ending, one bad story enough to regret all the good ones that came before that? Do we try to hide behind the regret? Do we honestly think it will make the pain disappear? Do we believe that if we regret something it will make it seem as if it never happened? Well, guess what? It won't. The pain stays. That sharp, hard, unbearable pain. But so does the happiness we felt before. Don't tell me you never caught yourself smiling at a memory closely connected to something you want to forget? You did. Because, no matter how hard we try all the feelings stay. The happiness, the pain and even the regret. We never stop regretting the choices that even though they made us laugh, also broke our hearts into million little pieces that not even all the happiness we felt before it can put together.

Happiness.
Love brings happiness. Happiness doesn't come cheep and let alone free. If it did nobody would be happy. Think about it: if we never learned what's it like to suffer, to shiver with fear, to cry and if we never felt what's it like to just feel the pain killing you on the inside with you powerlessly letting it, knowing you can't do a thing about it - we would never know what's it like to actually be happy. To smile. We would not appreciate the goodness we got, we would not appreciate the happiness we were blessed with but we would take it for granted and consider it a normal thing. And when it comes to anything we never experienced differently - we would not know it's something we should feel special for. Happiness - the feeling that makes your heart ache in a good way, the feeling that makes you love even the neighbor that constantly plays loud music you hate so much, feeling that makes you smile all day long... feeling that makes the world seem perfect in your eyes.

Hope.
"We all need a little hope sometimes. That feeling that everything's going to be ok and that there's going to be someone to take care of it."
Just like that. We need to feel as if there's something we can believe in, some force that will eventually put everything and everyone where it should be, something that will make everything okay, the feeling that all the pain will be washed away, all the regret escaped and all the tears worthless. Sometimes, we just need a sign that there's light in the end of the tunnel and that there's a guiding hand that will take us to it. Hope. Simple as that. Belief in yourself, your own powers, your own possibilities and your own mind. Belief in someone else, their powers, their possibilities and their hearts. Hope.

Love does not exists without human beings to feel it. Love does not exists without fears and hopes. Love can not survive on it's own. Neither can we survive without love. Life does not exist without love. Love does not need a reason to be a part of us... it's unconditional... or at least it should be.