Quad-City Times Column: Cat Tales

Cat Tales
Courageous Cat

November 20th, 2008 by Rachel Lemieux

Apprehensive, nervous and scared are often words used to describe cats; but not my feline avenger.
He is impervious to lightning and thunder, ready to battle annoying bugs and is willing to brawl with that invisible thing flying around in the bedroom (sure, there’s something there, cat.). When a hair-raising situation does arise, as they often do in two-bedroom apartments, Ushki protects us. He begins by investigating the scene, and he then takes the proper steps to alleviate the issue. Each situation calls for different, tactful means of action. Bugs require stealthy, but quick action; rapid zigzagging head activity is followed by hunkered-down stalking. Then, at the right moment…*POUNCE*. Repeat as needed. Thunderstorms call for ear tweaking and wide, blinkless eyes with frequent scampers into the bedroom. The scurrying could be mistaken for fear, but don’t let it fool you; he’s actually just checking the barometer.
The trickiest of all is clearing the house of those dreaded invisible flying things. But, Ushki can accomplish it with harsh meows accompanied by swatting and occasional eye contact with the closest human.
Just when I thought my cat’s courage knew no bounds, my roommate brought home Ushiki’s kryptonite. As soon as his eyes locked on the round, orange object he was terrified. He instantly began hissing and darted under the table. As the hissing and other varieties of noises emitted he backed up against the wall. As soon as I understood this dire situation, I stepped up to battle for my cat, like he has done so many times for me. I screamed at my roommate to get it out of the room as I comforted my unhinged cat. “Get that balloon out of here, now!” I yelled. My roommate replied, “What a scaredy-cat.”

Are their any weird things that your cat is scared of? Or things that other cats are scared of that yours is indifferent to?


Cat Tales
Smarty Cat

August 6th, 2008 by Rachel Lemieux

I’ve come to the conclusion that my cat is seriously too smart for his toys. After about a month of Ushki lying around the house without so much of a paw at his beloved mini spider balls, I started to inspect the toy condition around the apartment. Fluffy mouse, check; catnip mouse, check. However, none of these toys seem to keep him interested for long. Believe me, I’ve tried the whole milk jug ring and that’s a no go. After I bestowed the plastic-y wonder on him, he sniffed at it to make sure it wasn’t food and then sauntered away, never to come back to it.

It was then that I realized that the simplest of toys which usually entertain cats for hours, just won’t do for my genius cat (brag, brag, brag).

So, I started to browse Hy-Vee’s pet section for toys that would suit my “smart cat.” After muttering with resentment at all the cool dog toys, I noticed a small plastic object that was shaped like the molecular structure of water. In the middle of the toy was a small hole where treats were dropped into the hollowed-out center. In order to get the treats out, dogs would have to figure out how to knock the toy over. This seemed like a great idea; however, this one was for the dogs. So, I wandered around the store for awhile in hopes of accumulating the parts to assemble a treat toy for my Einstein of a cat. I “accidentally” happened across the candy isle and after drooling over the chocolate, I noticed some plastic disks with flap-up lids that house breath mints. Perfect. When I returned home, I emptied out the mints, washed the inside and filled it up with treats and stood back. Ushki soon launched his pioneer efforts to infiltrate the toy. He sniffed, pawed and batted unsuccessfully for hours to get the treats out of the disk. I deemed my toy a success. Eventually, he figured out how to flip it over to get the few treats to spill out. Each time I reset the toy, he seemed to forget how he flipped it over the first time, and the conundrum continued.

Each time I put treats in the toy, Ushki looks longingly at the delicious kibble in the disk and proceeds to “meow” at me with THAT face. My smugness that came from making a successful toy fades; I feel terrible. I so badly want to take the food out and give it to him. He is so smart.



Cat Tales
It’s a Jungle

April 21st, 2008 by Rachel Lemieux

Late night trips to Wal-Mart are no good. They usually result in me buying something I really didn’t need. After meandering to the pet department, I browsed through the doggie doohickeys and became slightly jealous. I mean, they get all the good toys and snacks; squeaky hamburgers, bones that clean teeth while tasting like turkey and let’s not forget Beggin’ Strips. But perhaps the grass is greener; I do get a plethora of stuffed mice to choose from. It’s a tough decision; with or without catnip.

Once I came across the cat supplies, my eyes gazed upon a series of feline jungle gyms (a lot of assembly required). At a mere $24 and some cents, the question was not “Was I going to get one?” but rather “Which one?” There were at least 5 kinds of jungles for my cat to gym on; fortunately, my boyfriend saved me from the torture that is decision making, and quickly picked the one that would match our living room decor the worst. Yes, it says “surf’s up,” and yes, it’s in our living room. jungle

After 30 minutes of “some assembly” the jungle gym was ready to be conquered by our cat. I became delighted by the thought of Ushki frolicking on the gym through the night as he sniffed at it. Then, as if approving, he crawled through the bottom hole and sat. Approximately 30 seconds later, he got up and walked away. He spent the rest of the night avoiding that thing like it was a tub filled with water. We tried everything to get him to go on it. We placed treats inside, this resulted in him acquiring the treats and promptly leaving. We tried to gently place him on the top story, but he quickly freaked out after realizing that the gym could barely support all of his 15 pounds as it sagged and stretched. So for now, the useless nylon heap rests somberly next the useless wooden heap of cat furniture we bought months ago. The wooden heap now serves as a spot for folded laundry that needs to be put away. I wonder what we can use the new jungle gym for. Maybe shoe storage?