That Just Ain't Natural

A man walks into a bar...  Nope, that ain't it. Let me try again.

Once upon a time there was a package.  Actually, there've been several packages, but this one was funny.
It contained an eye patch and a note which read, "okaloosa island pier..9pm"
My friend, Charles, had been recieving these packages for two years now.  Sometimes their very entertaining.  Sometimes
they were mysterious; sometimes depressing.  It was like playing roulette, or maybe russian roulette.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

One the night  in question,  Charles grabbed a fishing pole from his closet, a hat, a pack of marlboro reds in-a-box, and..oh, yeah, the eye patch.  We can't forget that.  That night it was foggy near the beach, which is damn unusual for the area.  But that's what he said.  He slowly made his way to a parking spot in his beat up whie hugo.  He grabbed his pole and walked out to the end of the pier, threw out a line, lit his cigarrette and waited.  It was 8:30pm.  He told me that, as he stood there, he  wondered how long he'd have to wait for whatever was coming.  Charles stretched his back and mused that he might actually catch a fish and ruin the whole thing.

Then, as he brew out a stream of smoke, he noticed a sharp clicking sound approaching him.  he didn't bother looking.
The fog was too thick.  Closer, the sound suddenly stopped and he heard plastic clanking around and then a small metallic thud.
One click, then POW!

Charles slumped to the ground.  The footsteps went away from him very rapidly.  A car roaring to life. Then sirens.  Charles lay there in a pool of blood.
The police pinned in the new vehicle and made the arrest.  A bulky detective named Joe wentover to Charles and stared around into the fog.
Then he kicked Charles in the ribs a little."Good work, Charley."  He said under his breath.  "Hey, we got a body here!"  he yelled.

The next hour proved very busy for the police.  They took all the measurments and hauled Charley away.  Once at the morgue, the officers, looking as green as they actually were, sgined the paperwork and left quickly.  As soon as they were gone, Mark, the medical examiner, unzipped the body bag and Charley hopped out of it.  "You're a mess...again."
"what happened?  I got shot."
"from what there were said it was an old lady.  They think somebody put her up to it.'
"really?" Charley said. "I can't believe she shot me.  Don't people have any morals left at all?"
'If they did, you'd be out of a job."
"Can I use the shower?"
"Sure." 
And then, Mark looks at Charly and says,'You, know..cigarettes and bad for your health."
See, I told you it was funny.