Lots of friends, lots of people...How can I be alone? |
I watch the world and how it moves, gliding and sliding, flashing and splashing, colors, sounds, emotions, words. I see the people and how they fit, like puzzle pieces into one another, they act, react, and pretend that they own all, that they know all, that they are all, But I know more about them than they think I do... I am polite to those that say they are my friends, but they can’t possibly understand me or help me they really don’t care. I wonder why I bother when I truly am alone, in a dark world full of people. I feel cut off, like I’m in third person view, an out of body experience, an omniscient feeling, floating, drifting. Sometimes I see so much I feel like I’m inside their heads- I see their true colors and feel their emotions and hear their words, but my friends don’t care. Why should they? I walk alone deep in thought, a silent observer. I feel like an outsider, An unwelcomed visitor, a stranger. Nobody really notices me. That’s fine because personally watching people isn’t always pleasant. But I’m forced to because no one looks at me, no one hears me, no one feels me, no one pays attention to me. In an eternal blackness, the emptiness surrounds me. It’s like I said: I’m alone. Utterly alone. |