Unicorn Part 1

Unicorn
by Angie "kitn" Hughes, AKA hueloovoo


Brian moved calmly through the lunch line.  He could have shouldered his way to the front like most of the football players, but he did not.  He was a large boy, the only freshman to start on the varsity team, because he was good at football, enjoyed it, and was big enough to take on any of the seniors.  Puberty struck him early, his muscles and bones growing faster than any of his peers.  Yet, somehow, in spite of the obvious abundance of testosterone that lead to such growth, as well as a certain bearlike hirsute appearance, Brian never lost his temper, never bullied other children, and especially never took advantage of his position in the school.

He carried himself like one who is afraid any thing he touched might shatter.  He stepped aside to let smaller boys and girls by so as not to accidentally jostle them.  He ran a ham-like hand through his soft, short-cropped brown hair and pushed his tray calmly through the procession and offered the cashier his student identification, before joining his friends at the jock table.  Most of them simply ignored him, unless he had pulled a particularly good play recently, and he was content to let the conversation flow around him.  It was better that way, so long as he didn't speak, they would not expect him to, and he would not have to work to hide his secret.

You see, deep inside where no one could see, Brian kept his real self hidden away.  Behind the dark brown eyes and muscular frame, a girl danced in soft silks, slender and delicate, graceful, a girl who never once had to worry if she might accidentally hurt someone simply by holding a hand or accidentally bumping into them.  But Brian kept this real person deep inside, after all, boys can't become girls, and most especially not boys with huge muscles, hairy arms and a deep voice.  It simple could not happen.

So Brian trudged through the days, his true self locked away in a cage where she could never be free, and his mask slowly became the reality, devouring the girl inside with the slow surety of a river wearing away the rock of a chasm.  He tried to live for the game, but football grew sour for him. His associates from the team seemed to grow further and further away as well, more and more often their talks had led to local girls and who was "nailing" who like some sick game with the lives of their classmates.  Brian ignored more, and the others simply assumed he was too stupid to understand, after all, large muscular boys could not possibly be intelligent in their eyes.

But today, something changed.  Brian felt perhaps his true self, the carefree girl in the most hidden recesses of his soul, was dying.  He was dying inside, and he couldn't stand it any more.  His tray untouched, Brian stood in the middle of the lunchroom, attracting the gaze of his teammates, and walked away.  A teacher stood up, perhaps thinking to stop him from leaving school without a pass, but with one look at the pained expression and another at the sheer size of the boy, decided that wisdom being the better part of valor, Brian migt be allowed to go home sick.

"Mister Davis, if you're sick, you should see the school nurse and get permission to go home."

Brian nodded and walked out of the lunchroom and down the hall to the main office.

"Excuse me, can I see the nurse?  I need to go home."  The bored receptionist waved him toward the nurse's office, and he trudged inside, carefully flipping the light switch on and sitting on the bed inside, which gave a noticeable creak under his mass.  The nurse must have been eating lunch herself, or perhaps busy somewhere else.  He looked at the various medical supplies on her desk, and his gaze settled on a brown plastic bottle with a white top.

Suddenly reality hit him with startling clarity: he had no real friends, he was trapped in a body not his own, and there was nothing he could do that would ever change this.  His life was not only not worth living, it continued to feel worse with every passing day, every minute, every second.  And the way out lay right in front of him.  He glanced out the door at the receptionist, but she was busy doing something on the computer.  His hands shaking, he picked up the bottle to read the label.  It listed the doctor's name, an unintelligible phrase describing the medication, and a few warning labels, as well as the directions, "Take one half pill daily."

Staring at the bottle, indecision struck him.  Did he really want to do this?  His life would never be happy, but still there must be reasons to live.  He could figure out something to do that would bring him contentedness!  Then his mind swung the other way...  He imagined himself, perhaps a football star, or a construction worker, an engineer or a doctor, but none of these things fit with what he wanted, what he NEEDED more than anything.  He tried to imagine himself as a girl, but it simply would not come to him, he could never see himself becoming the ballerina, the model, the mother.  He could never be a bride, or create life in his own body.

He didn't even realize he had twisted the top off the bottle and poured the entire contents, perhaps twenty or thirty pills into his palm, but now he saw it, a small pile of little blue ovals in his huge hairy hand.  He tossed the hand to his mouth and forced himself to swallow, the little pills sticking in his throat, choking him.  He poured a paper cup of water and washed them down, gasping and shuddering.  All he had to do now was lie down and wait.

-----

Something was different.

That goes without saying, he knew of course he must be dead, therefore things HAD to be different.  But he could still feel, his body just felt weird.  He opened his eyes and the light nearly blinded him.  Wincing, he slowly slitted his eyes open again, this time allowing them time to adjust, and found he was staring up at a tiled ceiling with fluorescent lighting.  He tried to sit up and found his wrists tied down.  Tilting his head up, it became clear to him he was in a hospital, but his body was covered by a plain white sheet.  Still, even from his limited vantage point, he could see that his body was changed.  How long had he lay here, perhaps in a coma, body wasting away?  He must be nothing but skin and bones now.  And what had happened that he would need thick bandaging on his chest?  Did they cut him open to remove the pills?  Strangely, he didn't feel weak, and nothing hurt like it should after major surgery.  Nothing made any sense!

"Ah, you're awake!  It seems you've had an eventful night.  Let me see, you are Brian Davis, fourteen, son of Brenda and Charles Davis, am I correct?"

Brian turned to face a young man in a white coat, obviously a doctor considering the surroundings, who waited patiently for some form of answer.

"Yeah, I-"  Brian cut off, his voice was much higher now!  How could that happen?  He sounded almost like Sarah Myers in his History class!

"Well, you've been admitted to Saint Micheal's, and I am Doctor Mitchell, though you may call me Harold if you like.  Now, would you like to tell me why you swallowed a full bottle of someone else's medications?  You could very well have died young..."  The doctor trailed off as if unsure of something, but Brian didn't really notice, obviously he hadn't died.

"Why didn't you let me die?"  Tears sprung to his eyes and he couldn't dash them away, didn't care to try at all.

"Brian...  We didn't save you.  By all rights, considering the strong medication you took and the amount, nothing should have been able to prevent your death.  What saved you was entirely you.  You may have noticed some changes, but before I go into detail about that, I have to assess your mental state.  Now please, tell me, why did you try to kill yourself?"

"I can't tell you.  I can't tell anyone, because everyone would know, and there's nothing anyone can do to fix it..."  The doctor shook his head gently and stepped closer, wiping away the tears with a tissue and holding the tissue with a rubber gloved hand so Brian could blow his nose.

"Brian, I promise you, I will not share anything you tell me here with anyone, unless you are planning to harm someone else or yourself.  Maybe if you tell me what's wrong, I can help.  I am a doctor after all.  I want to help you, and I promise I will not judge you."

Brian couldn't help it, he was so sure he would die, it seemed like there could be no harm in telling now.  Telling couldn't possibly be worse than dying anyway.

"I can't ever be me.  I'm stuck in this body, big muscly, hairy, and worst of all, a boy.  But I'm not, not inside, I never was.  I hate it, and nothing can ever fix it.  I'd rather die than live like that.  Please, doctor, don't make me go back to that!  I can't stand it anymore, it was killing me.  It should have killed me..." he trailed off, once again crying in that high pitched squeaky voice, not caring about anything any more.  All he could think was if the doctor knew how he really felt, he would let Brian die, because how could anyone let so much suffering continue?

"Brian...  Please relax.  I'm very sorry to hear that things have been so terrible for you.  But you have a family who loves you.  When they heard about what happened, they had you removed from the emergency room and threatened to sue anyone who breathed a word of your condition.  You see, something amazing happened when you nearly died, your body changed spontaneously.  It is not physically nor medically possible, but you are a completely different person, biologically, from the overdosed boy that was brought into the emergency room two weeks ago.  I think maybe once you see what has happened you might find a reason to live again.  If I allow you to sit up and see the changes, will you promise me not to harm yourself?"

Brian thought about it.  He still wanted to die, rather than face his life, but if somehow things had changed maybe he could hope.  And if not, well, what's one little lie compared to suicide?

"I promise not to hurt myself."  He thought about his words for a moment, and realized, he didn't really even WANT to hurt himself!  He still hurt inside, sure that he was trapped in a life of torture, but he had made a promise, and it would be wrong to break it.  While he worked that out, the doctor did something with his arms and feet.

"Now, get up slowly, we can't be sure of how the changes may have affected you, or the overdose.  If you feel lightheaded, please let me know."  The doctor, Harold took his hand to help him up, and Brian could tell he was really a warm, caring man, simply doing his best to help a child who had been through a lot find a reason to live, and possibly to cope with some major changes.  Then the sheet slipped off him and Brian nearly fainted.  Under the sheet lie not thick bandages, but smooth pale creamy skin, rounded out into full, soft breasts.

"Is this..."  Brian could barely think to push words out at all.  "How..."

"I don't know, Brian.  Before you woke and told me your story, I was afraid you would attempt suicide again, but now...  I think maybe Jesus has touched you, healed you of your pain."  Something about that seemed wrong to Brian, but he... she couldn't think of what that might be and hardly cared in any case at the moment.  She reached down under the blanket to verify what she could not possibly be seeing, too hopeful yet terrified to care that her breasts were uncovered for a man to see.

"You have had a thorough exam including genetic testing.  Aside from a few odd markers that have never been seen before, you are genetically female, and the biological daughter of your parents.  Your genetic code is completely different from what it was, but it is still composed of your parents', except for the variations I mentioned.  You are also completely biologically female, I imagine within a few months you will begin menstruating.  You should be able to be a mother."

"Can I look in a mirror?"  Brian was lost somewhere between confusion and joy, and somehow she was terrified everything was going to turn out to be a dream  Or maybe she DID die and was in heaven.  The doctor picked up a hand mirror, holding it up so Brian could see without actually offering it to her.

The first thing Brian noticed was her eyes, they were surprisingly larger now, big brown doe-eyes that gave her a surprised expression.  Or maybe that was because she WAS surprised.  Her skin looked smooth and pale, almost white, but somehow not ghostly.  Her lips were fuller, pursed into a little moue beneath a button nose she recognized as her mother's.  Then she noticed something VERY out of place, beneath her platinum-white hair: a silvery, delicate, spiraling horn.

"What...  I..."  She reached up to touch the horn, it felt warm and alive in her hand, yet very solid.  She could feel it, her hand gliding over the surface sent warmth through the horn down into her tummy, a comforting soft feeling.

"Yes, you've become a beautiful young woman.  The white hair is an odd variation, perhaps a sign of some form of albinism, but you have not shown any signs of light sensitivity, and hair can always be dyed.  Would you like to see your parents?  They've been anxiously waiting for you to wake, but I wanted to speak to you about your changes before you faced them."  Brian's hand never left her horn, she could scarcely believe it was there at all, yet touching it left no doubt in the matter.  The doctor didn't even seem to notice it!  Then his words registered, and Brian nodded.  She was afraid her parents might hate her, but she still wanted to see them, she felt horribly alone suddenly.

The doctor turned the handle on the door and in poured Brian's mother and father.  They both paused at the door, staring, before her mother rushed over and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, then wrapped her in the biggest tightest hug she'd had since she'd been a little boy.  Her father walked over sheepishly and hugged her too.

"Oh, honey, why didn't you say anything?  Why did you try to... hurt yourself?  I'm so sorry we weren't there for you!  We'll figure this all out just don't leave us again!"  Her mom was hysterical, sobbing into the blanket, and she sensed fear and desperation and love in her mother's touch.  It obviously didn't matter to her about her child's new form, nothing mattered except that her baby was alive.  Her father rested a hand on her blanket-covered shoulder, and she could tell he was confused and scared, both at the thought of losing his son, and the thought that his son had turned into a girl.  It didn't make sense to him, but he was trying to accept it as fact.

She realized then, she was reading their minds, or their emotions or something, like a psychic!  Not that it mattered at the moment, her mother needed some reassurance.

"Mom, I'm okay.  I'll explain everything, and I promise, I won't ever hurt myself like that again."  Again she was reminded that her promises mattered, but it was true, she would never try to harm herself again, even if she was some sort of psychic mutant and had some weird horn, she was a GIRL!  She could be herself, and that was enough to make her want to live more than ever.

"Mom, I love you, I love you both so much...  I was just so sad and trapped the way I was.  I was always a girl, just trapped inside that big boy body that never fit right.  I thought nothing would ever be able to change that, and every day the girl inside, the real me, was dying a little more.  I couldn't take it, Mom!  It hurt so much I wanted to die.  But now...  Now everything's different!  I don't know how or why, but I can be who I really am now.  I'm so sorry I hurt you both..."  She found she was crying now, big hot tears rolling down her cheeks to land in her mom's hair where she was hugging Brian.

"Well, Brian, I can't pretend that I understand, but if this is what makes you want to live, then who am I to say if it's right or wrong?  It's just like a miracle, so maybe it's God's way of fixing something that was wrong."  Her father hugged her, and she cried all the harder.  Doctor Mitchell stepped outside a few minutes to give the family some privacy.  Mother, father and child clung to each other, reaffirming life and love, and everything was right in Brian's world.  Then her father pulled away and looked at her appraisingly.

"Well, since you don't look like Brian anymore, I think it's best if we change your name.  Honey, do you have any ideas?"  He looked at his wife, who smiled up at him.

"Well, we discussed names before you were born, and I was going to name you Chastity Irene, before we found out you were going to be a boy.  Your great grandmother's name was Irene."

"That's... a pretty name..."  The newly-dubbed Chastity wasn't so sure, but she was willing to humor her mom, she felt like she owed it to her for putting her through all of this.

"I'll work out the papers at the firm tomorrow.  I'll also get your papers at school changed too, I'll have to explain to the principal, but we'll just tell everyone else you're a cousin visiting.  Brian will go live with his grandparents.  It'll take a little creative legal shuffling, but I won't have anyone hassling my child."  That was her dad, always practical and businesslike.

"Thank you... Daddy.  Is it okay if I call you Daddy?  I...  I feel like I've missed out on so much, and I want to be close to you both, like when I was little.  Before I got all big and hairy and stuff."

"Yes, that's alright, sweetie.  It's going to be a big adjustment for all of us, but we'll work it all out, you'll see."  Her dad hugged her again, but the doctor knocked at the door, breaking the mood for a moment.

"Okay, now I think we need to let Brian-"

"Chastity, Doctor Mitchell."  Her mother interrupted.

"Very well then, we need to let Chastity sleep.  Her body has been through some pretty big changes and will need some time to recover."  Her mom and dad kissed her on the cheeks and shuffled out of the room, but she could see them go to sit down in the hallway outside before the doctor closed the door again.

"Doctor...  Am I weird now?"  Chastity was tired, but she had to be sure, in case people were maybe just avoiding talking about the horn.  She found herself touching it every little while, expecting it had been some sort of hallucination.

"Well, as far as I know, no one's ever spontaneously changed DNA, or transformed into a girl so entirely, but aside from that, you seem to be a normal, healthy girl.  I don't think you'll have any problems getting back into school and social life, once you get used to being a girl.  Still, you'll want to take things very easy at first.  It will take some time to settle in after all."

-----

Doctor Mitchell was right.  Even though she was released from the hospital only a few days later, she felt very weak and tired.  Mom kept her home from school for two weeks, and they spent time together doing all the things that Chastity never felt like she could as a boy.  She helped her mother with the housework, and she took Chastity shopping, and helped her learn how to walk and talk so that she wouldn't seem like the tomboy she really didn't want to be.  She discovered a deep and abiding love for soft flowing fabrics, some in pure white and others in bright colors, though she also ended up with several pairs of soft stretchy jeans and tee shirts.  Chastity let her mom lead the way most of the time, because as much as she loved being a girl, she still didn't have any confidence.

When her dad came home after work every day they watched football together, or sometimes played catch in the yard. She could feel herself getting stronger again, not beastly strong like before, but healthy.  She loved the feel of sunshine while tossing the football around, and thought sometimes maybe being a bit of a tomboy wasn't so bad.  She'd never be a linebacker again, and in fact she probably wouldn't make the team even if she bucked the system and tried to join it.  Still, football wasn't the only sport, just the only one she'd been good at before.  Maybe she'd try volleyball, or soccer, or softball.  Not cheerleading though, the cheerleaders in her old school were a snobbish clique and according to the football players she used to spend so much time near, had a sort of unwritten rule about having to date and possibly do more with football players.  That was definitely not something she felt she wanted to associate with once she returned to school.

Returning to school scared her on its own.  When she left the hospital with her parents she was grateful that she would have some time away because she was sure everyone would see through her and know what had happened.  But as the days wore on and no news crews swarmed her home, she worried less about being found out, and more about fitting in.  The social groups at most schools were closely-defined and seldom open to new members.  That was one reason she'd stuck with the football players before, in spite of their crudity, she was certain no other group would accept the big hairy brute she used to be.

Now she had no automatic in to a social group.  She wouldn't be a football player, no one would know her, and even the social outcasts probably wouldn't trust her.  She would be a new student at a completely new school.  But soon enough, her mom deemed her fit for classes again, and laid down the law.

"I know you're worried honey, but you'll do fine.  You're a wonderful person, you're beautiful, and you'll make friends in no time.  If you keep worrying like this you'll just make yourself sick.  I'll explain some of things to your new principal because I want them to keep an eye on you, but as far as anyone will know, you've always been Chastity Davis, so you can be yourself, and everyone will love you for it."  Her mom was always worried about her getting sick now, though she felt much better than she ever had before, like she could run a marathon or something.  She really loved running now, it was one thing she'd started doing to get back in shape after getting out of the hospital, and it stuck.  she loved the way the wind would blow through her short-but-getting-longer hair, it felt almost like flying when she went really fast.

"Okay, Mom, I'll try.  It's just scary, you know?  I don't know anything about Lincoln High, we didn't ever even face their football team because it's such a smaller school."

Finally the day back to school arrived.  Her mom dropped her off early so she could speak to the principal.  No one was around and the school seemed like a ghost town, the cool Midwestern air making puffs of mist out of her breath as she hurried into the mostly-warm building.  She entered the office and knocked at Principal Dayton's door.

"Come in.  Close the door please.  So, you're Chastity, right?  You've been through some difficult times I understand.  I want to make this clear to you, you are on probation here.  You are to check in with the guidance counselor twice a week, and you are to come speak to her or me if there is any problem.  Do you understand me?  I don't know what things were like at your old school, but I care about every child at this school, and to find out you were sad enough to try something like that...  I feel like your school failed you, and I will not allow the to happen again."  Mrs. Dayton's expression seemed to waiver between anger and fear and sadness behind her bifocal glasses.  She lowered her head for the last part and all Chastity could see was her black curly hair, and she felt ashamed.  She had really upset people, and that was wrong of her.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Dayton, I promise that won't happen with me again.  Since then my life has become much better, but even if I get that sad again I promise to come to you or the guidance counselor before doing anything drastic."  She knew she would keep that promise, though she couldn't imagine being that sad ever again.

"Very well.  Now, I have your class schedule here, if you'd like to make any changes please let me know, we'll try to fit you in to any electives you wish, but keep in mind some of them are full now."  Reading through the list, Chastity was mostly happy with it, although she did end up changing Home Economics to Volleyball.  Brian had been in Family And Child Sciences in middle school, and didn't want to repeat mostly the same things, when she could be playing a sport instead.  She left Drama class in place; she'd never tried it, but it might be fun to act, and she did love Romeo and Juliet, maybe she'd recognize some of the other plays as well.

"Okay, I'll get the change entered into the files, and let Coach Merriweather know.  Study hard and have fun, okay Chastity?"  Chastity nodded and hurried out of the office.  The halls were rather busier now, and she hurried to find the locker she'd been assigned and put the lock on it before someone else could do anything to it.  She had been through freshman hazing once already, and learned from it.

School went surprisingly quickly and smoothly, although the girl sitting next to her in Drama kept looking at her.  If it weren't for the fact that no one had seen her horn up until now, she would have sworn the girl was staring at it.  After class, she was ambushed by the girl, who looked like she was about to burst.

"Is that...  Is it real?  No one else seems to notice it, so it must be magic, right?"  Chastity almost jumped out of her skin when the girl reached up and touched the horn.  It was strange, at the same time as she felt that warm comforting caress on her horn, she felt that the girl was sincere and innocent, naive maybe, excited and amazed.

"Please don't touch it...  It's... weird."  Chastity was confused, it felt wonderful when the girl touched her horn, but not in a sexual way, just good, from the center of her being outward.  Like a hug from her mom when she really really needed it.

"It's not weird, it's magical.  I always knew magic was real, but no one seems to believe so no one ever sees it.  My name's Marie, you're Chastity, right?  Are you a unicorn pretending to be a girl?  Or, maybe from outer space?  Don't worry, I promise not to tell anybody.  Besides, who would believe me?"  Marie's energy was infectious, even after she let go of Chastity's horn at her request.

"No, I just...  woke up this way.  I can't really explain it, I don't know where it came from, but you're the first person who's seen it, and I was starting to think I was just imagining it, like I was crazy or something."  Chastity felt relieved but at the same time scared, it was wonderful to have confirmation she wasn't crazy, but she still didn't understand why any of this was happening.

"Oh, I know what you mean, I used to hear voices and see magic creatures all over, but the doctor said none of it was real and made me start taking these pills that made it all go away.  But I still think some of it was real magic, and now I'm sure, because even with the pills, I can still see your horn and no one else can!"

Chastity felt a little let down, her only confirmation she wasn't crazy was the belief of someone who might be crazy herself.

"Anyway, we have to get to class, the bell's gonna ring any second, but if you wanna talk, here's my phone number, call me after school, okay?"  Marie scribbled a number on a torn out bit of paper and stuffed it in Chastity's bewildered hand, then disappeared up the stairs with the energy of a squirrel on a caffeine overdose.

Chastity stuffed the paper in her pocket and hurried on to class, overwhelmed by the flurry of activity that was Marie.

-----

Read the rest of the story here...

Unicorn Part 2  (13+) How easily the beautiful things in life can be lost. Do you believe in magic? #1418836 by hueloovoo... a dim blue hue.