Lowlife Visitor

Lowlife Visitor

How’s that you know she’s female, Rick?

Wild guess, Bue, Man you have got to get your wiring checked out?

Okay, Bue said child like.

Man, your seriously mixed up, Bue.

She knocked during the game, Bue said. Blue light special, 30ish, black, sumptuous lips, thighs could cause a small quake, asked for a ten.

You didn’t give her money?

Bue looked down at his dirty sneaker the one with pizza sauce spill, what I do wrong now?

Nothin, Oh shit Bue. A complete stranger knocks on the door asks you for money and you give it to her? Rick appeared to stop surfing hesitated on fuzz, white out conditions on last weeks free movie channel. Laughing Rick said, You bought coke before?

Think she needed money for snow, she said she saw the light on?

What light?

Distracted by the announcer berating the home team, Bue asked, Bulls loosing again?  This how it happened, She knocks says car is out of gas up on Lewd. 

You think she came here for money because the light was on?

Yeah, don't interrupt, Funny thing about that she said her car ran out of gas and she got a ride here but the guy given her the ride didn’t have no money and that she left her teenage daughter who has a kid, back in the car.

What you didn’t offer to baby sit? Rick spit out a peanut shell, said, she was on Lewd, that’s two long blocks from here, must be 40 houses tween here and there.

Bue puzzled with his eyes, squinting, She might have tried other houses on her way.

Look dumb ass, she had a guy driving her to the gas station, did you see who it was?

No Rick I didn’t look. I went upstairs got my wallet and gave her the tenner.
I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking, guess she saw that too.

She take anything from the house?

No, I don’t know, don’t think so. She was looking around with those big dark eyes, looked hungry. She wore a heavy black sweater and smiled when she said she doesn’t usually ask for nothing from nobody but really needs gas to get home, mentioned her daughter, the baby back in the car. She leaned over like she was gonna hug me. Don’t look at me like that Rick.  I care about people, just cause you’re a hard ass and question every little detail about people doesn’t mean she was lying.

Probably true, but she knew something. Maybe knows you helped the guy on the bike.

Yeah, remember the guy. He just moved here, offered to mow the lawn, wash the car, and clean the windows on the house for some food money. He was from someplace warm, Mississippi. Didn’t have enough clothes for winter. He had on about 10 t-shirts and really long basketball shorts, flip-flops. I remember the missing tooth, must have hawked the filling, and even though he asked for a cigarette with a sir and can I help you, sir, he just wanted food, milk, bread and some peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches.

Rick sighed, Bue, they knew where to stop. I bet it’s his girlfriend.
So what are they into you for,” 30 cash and you didn’t even get a blowjob.

She did leave smiling I guess I could have asked for one. Damn sometimes I miss the obvious, he half-heartedly punched his leg.

That’s what nice people do,Bue, people who trust people miss the obvious. You think?

Rarely, Bue smiled quickly under his hand.

They’re probably the ones stole your skillsaw and bike. So now how much they into you for?

Bue motions over his head like at a chalkboard. Let’s see the bike was worth 300 , the saw 100.

That’s 430 Bue, and you work too hard for your money be given it to professionals.

They know a honey hole when they see one. Shit, Rick, I haven’t’ seen them all winter. This time the smile beamed upward.

Dodging between ESPN outdoor fishing and indoor Tennis, Rick mimicked riding a surf board. There having a nice warm vacation laughing it up on your dime while your moving shit to buy a new saw, bike, and get laid with dinner and a movie.

Look Rick, that’s what you see but I see woman. She comes knocking where there’s light. She hopes she’s seen threw and asked for head, so she can earn her money and vanish clean owing nothing to nobody. But instead she gets belief and honesty. The hunger I see and want to fill is her empty weight of caring, she wants to feed the car and get away from here but is too embarrassed to tell the truth, about her husband out of work, and her addictions bleeding away her existence, and her daughters underfed baby. They thought they could get a job here, relative told her come up, try.

Rick shuffled his feet knocking the empties in a roll. Bue continued, she smiled because she knew she was lying but thought it worth it. Finally she didn’t care if I believed her or not, the hunger drove her to free herself from the consequences of fear for her actions. Best she could do under the circumstances, given thousands of miniscule choices that led up to this, and already knew I would show her compassion. Even though her husband took my saw and bike, and sold them for a better life where its warm and she can dance for a few dollars. Even though he fathered the baby of his daughter cause when she dances still more for the sacred white nose habit it becomes meaningless escape ritual, and he’s left out separated from her intimacies. Still they were hanging tight to one another out of love. And rare that is Rick, don’t’ you dare agree with me. I rewarded it Rick out of my hope for freedom and love and the strongest need I have, to accept me just the fucked up way I am. 

Fucking dreamer dude, that’s why you’ll never have anything, soon you’ll be begging for shit.

Already am, Rick, Already am, and when are you going to stop talking in my head?

When you stop talking to me, Bue, and start talking to the lowlife visitor.