Wizard of God - Ch. 2, Ch. 3

Chapter 2: Oh me, Oh my. Oh my, Oh me!

Just as I completed the thought, the townsfolk came prancing out of their hiding spots. They skipped and jumped toward Patricia and I. They were smiling and laughing. Some were even squealing in joy.

“Why are they so happy?” I asked Patricia.

“They are always happy when someone begins the journey down the golden glowing road,” she said with a wide smile. “It’s my favorite too.”

The streets of the town quickly turned into a festival. I looked at Patricia questioningly.

“Go ahead,” she said happily. “The most difficult step is the first one. It’s the only one you have to do perfectly. Just make sure you start on the right road.”

I looked down and watched as my foot pressed squarely onto the first glowing stone. The crowd erupted. Patricia laughed. With each step I took the townspeople came up one by one and shook my hand or reached out for a hug.

My confidence grew as their positivity outpoured. They genuinely cared for my wellbeing. I could tell these people had seen many begin this journey to see the Wizard. Something told me they had made their own trip as well.

The merry throng followed me all the way to the edge of town. As I passed the last building I noticed they were no longer keeping pace. I turned to look back and saw them pressed as close to the edge as they could go. Patricia stood in the middle. I wanted to ask if any would come with me but I understood, looking at their still encouraging faces, they would if they could. This quest was my burden alone but I knew they would shout encouragement from where they stood whenever I needed it. I waved and received many more in return.

I turned again and began to follow the golden road. At first I strolled along taking in the bizarre scenery. The landscape was alive. Everything seemed to be in motion though I could feel no breeze. Grassy fields were on each side of the golden road. The terrain in both directions consisted of rolling hills but the path I was on remained level. I could see the edge of a forest a few miles away on my left. The trees seemed to be passing by at different rates despite the regular pace I was walking. I began to realize nothing in this world was what it seemed. It was beautiful on the surface, no doubt, but it seemed to be a distraction of some sort. It seemed though nothing wanted what was underneath or within to be exposed. The more I became aware of it the more I noticed it. There was something sinister and shameful beneath. At this thought I began to walk faster, wondering if this was a trick of the Black Witch.

It was then that I noticed a shimmering rectangle that looked like it had cut through the fabric that made up this world. From an angle I could see that it was paper-thin. The length of it was parallel to the road and it hovered just over the grass line. I quickened my pace and as I moved closer to its face I could tell it was a moving scene of some kind. Once I got directly in front of it I stood breathless at what I saw. It was home! Not just the real world, but a place I had been many times. It seemed like a portal in space between this world and my own.

All my friends were standing together laughing and cheering. I wondered if they were cheering for me. It seemed like they were at first but then I noticed they were looking past me. I saw my good friend Evan walk into the scene and join the crowd. They all faced him and gave a cheer.

“It’s his birthday,” I remembered out loud.

“Hey Evan!” I yelled. Nobody heard me.

I stepped off the path. I moved closer and studied the scene, noticing immediately it was a favorite gathering place of ours. I remembered we were all supposed to meet there the following night for his birthday.

“Has it already been a day?” I thought out loud again.

The bar was full of familiar faces. They were all gathered on the back patio that spanned out over the intercoastal. I could see the water in the background and the lights of the boats as they lined up, making their way to the slips along the bar.

I got close enough to reach out with my palm and feel along the face of the phenomenon. My fingers tingled from the energy. This was truly a portal. I could forget this journey and return. The storm was over and things were back to normal.

Just as I was about to push my hand through, I heard a distant chorus. It was a soft cacophony at first but it became louder and distinguishable. I recognized the voices as those from the town I had just left.

“People. Places. Things. Look closer,” they chanted in harmony.

I looked back in the direction I had come but I was too far away to see them. I could not even make out the buildings.

They repeated the same line over and over again. I could not understand what they meant by look closer. It did not make sense.

I wanted to plunge my hand through and forget this crazy world but I felt like I owed those friendly people, especially Patricia, something. I peered intently, focusing on my friends. At first everything seemed normal but as the far off chanting became louder and sunk deeper into my mind I began to see discrepancies.

The first thing I noticed was the wind. It was blowing surf almost onto the deck. It would take hurricane strength wind to do that.

“The storm hasn’t passed!” I said astonished.

What were they doing? I was baffled. Who in their right mind would go out in a hurricane?

I looked intently at my friends for a few minutes. They didn’t even seem to notice.

“People. Places. Things. Look closer,” hummed repeatedly across the landscape.

That’s when I saw it. I became completely frozen. Each and every one of my friends was carrying a staff just like the one the Black Witch had. Some had them strapped to their back, others had them between their legs and a few just held them like a walking staff.

The facade melted away. The jovial scene turned ugly. The bar turned into a prison chamber. It was dark and unsafe. Nobody seemed to notice. They did not see the cement or their tattered clothes. I realized that the staffs they held onto must somehow provide a mental escape from the reality of their jail.

The vision disappeared. Inches from my fingers, right where my hand would have entered the portal, hovered a lightening-cracked, black walking staff. The Black Witch stood directly behind it.

I jumped backward awkwardly, tripped and stumbled back onto the golden road.

The Witch’s eyes were calm. She did not seem affected at all. I could only describe her demeanor as patient.

Swift as light she mounted the staff and disappeared.

Not knowing what else to do, I began to walk again. After a few hours the surrounding area got more and more creepy. Nothing was changing. I wondered how the terrain thought I could be fooled by the incessant tap dancing. It was so obvious.

Just when I believed I had been relegated to walk eternity on an unchanging path, a figure off in the distance came into view.

It was definitely a person, a human. As I got closer I could see it was a man. He seemed to be preoccupied with the landscape to our right. He stood staring, unmoving as if he was mesmerized. A wave of relief came over me and I started to jog his way. This person was probably on the same journey as me and was too scared to continue. He probably stopped walking once he realized nothing was changing like I did. We could walk together I thought. At least we would not be alone in this nightmare.

It was not until I got right beside him that I noticed the unimaginable.

“What the hell is going on here?” I sputtered out loud.

He turned to me and smiled, “It’s such a quiet, calm day isn’t it?”

I stood staring into a mirror. Scared and frightened, I realized I was looking at my twin.

“Are you the Black Witch?” I asked breathlessly.

“Yes, nice to meet you,” he said jovially as he extended a hand.

“Why are you posing as me? Why do you look like me?” I asked.

“I don’t look like you,” he said cynically. “I look like me.” He took away his hand and continued, “I was standing here perfectly content until you came along and ruined my peace and quiet.”

“You don’t act like a Black Witch,” I pointed out.

“This is exactly how Witches behave,” he said matter of factly. “How would you know anyway?”

He paused for a moment, then asked with some trepidation, “Are you a Witch?”

“Of course not,” I said. I was quickly coming to the doubt this imposter was the Black Witch in disguise. My tension eased a bit, even though I was still talking to myself.

“How long have you been standing here on this road?” I asked.

He looked annoyed by the question as if he did not want to answer. “I haven’t been standing here long at all, if you must know. It’s a pleasant morning so I thought I’d enjoy it,” he said impetuously. “Guess that’s out of the question now.”

If this person were not me, I would have started walking away.

“Look, sorry to bother you,” I said making a dramatic sweep of my arms at the deceptive scenery around, “but I just wanted to know how far you’ve traveled on this road.”

“What road?” he answered quickly. “I’m not on a road and I’m not traveling anywhere.”

I was stumped. If there were any significance to meeting myself on a golden glowing road, in a dream world where I was on a quest to find a Wizard because a crazy Witch was after me, as you would think there would be, I had completely missed it.

“Well, O.K. then,” I said sardonically. “I’ll leave you to your serenity.”

“Maybe the Wizard will tell me what this was all about,” I said as I started to walk off, ready to forget the entire incident. My twin self broke out of his frozen stance and hurried to my side.

“You’re going to see the Wizard?” he asked. “The Wizard?” he asked again for clarification.

“Yeah,” I said, relieved the conversation had taken a turn for the normal. “Supposedly he’s the only one who can get me out of this kooky place. Not to mention the Witch that’s on my back.”

He jumped to the side, startled, and glared at my back.

“Not literally on my back,” I said flustered. I guessed it was too good to be true. Nothing normal could have existed in this reality. “Haven’t you ever heard the expression monkey on my back?

“Of course,” he said incredulously. “Who hasn’t?”

It was obvious he had never heard the expression. All of sudden, it made sense.

“You can’t tell the truth can you?” I asked as nice as possible.

“Sure I can,” he said and then made a pronounced gulp. “I always tell the truth.”

After his last statement he blinked his eyes slow and hard. He looked very uneasy.

“What color shirt am I wearing?” I asked.

He looked at me a moment and then said non-chalantly, “Blue.”

I was indeed wearing a blue shirt. Maybe I was wrong I considered. Then I got an idea.

“What color shirt are you wearing?” I asked again.

At this he balked. He was definitely not going to respond.

“Either answer my question or find your own way to the Wizard,” I said.

He looked at me with an exaggerated expression of betrayal, but once he saw the serious look in my eye he dropped it. I thought he might go off on some tangent by the way he seemed to be considering the possibilities. He even opened his mouth to speak, but uttered nothing.

I do not what went on in his mind during those few minutes, but at the end he seemed to resign. He surrendered to whatever force was battling in his mind.

“Do you think the Wizard could help me to tell the truth?” he asked desperately.

That question conveyed more truth than I believe this other me had ever expressed before. I gained trust for my replica in that moment. He may not have been able to tell the truth about himself in the least bit, but he was as lost as me. I wondered if a man might be able to express the truth through a lie. Looking into his eyes, I questioned how much different this me was from me really.

“Let’s find out,” I said with excitement.

He smiled and so did I. I put my arm around his shoulder and together we resumed our trek.


Chapter 3: The I Got Center

The endless walk down the golden glowing road seemed a bit more finite with my new walking partner. With my knowledge of his disability, the other me opened up tremendously. I do not think anyone ever truly knew the depth of his sad state and now that someone did, without judgment, he was truly excited. The other me still could not tell the truth about himself, even though I knew and accepted his absolute penchant for lies. I had hoped the other me might start to break the curse as we walked along talking, but nothing of the sort happened. I guessed the only one who could help was the Wizard.

It did, however, make for some highly entertaining conversations. At one point I noticed how uncomfortable he was walking.

“Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?” I asked offhand.

“Not one bit,” he said quickly but his wide eyes said differently.

I laughed out loud, a deep down belly laugh. This poor fellow could not even admit when he had to go to the bathroom. I thought for a second about the many ways I could extend his misery and my delight. The opportunities were endless but I decided he was in enough pain already. Plus, with his slow waddle we were not making good time at all.

I was about to tell him to just take care of it and catch up with me when he was done, but a scary thought occurred to me. I could not believe I had not considered it before. I had not had any food, and more seriously, something to drink since before I started this journey. As soon as these thoughts came into my mind a sweeping thirst came over me.

“Do you have any water?” I asked the other me with concern.

“Yes, more than we could ever drink,” he said worriedly.

I scolded myself for not thinking of that before leaving the town.

I started to scan the landscape around us again, hoping I might notice a stream I had never seen. There was nothing. It was all perfectly, maddeningly the same.

It was then I noticed something different ahead of us. Off in the distance, directly above the golden road, was a dot of some kind. From far away it could have been anything. But any something was better than all the same nothing.

“Take a look at that,” I said excited.

The other me’s eyes got wide when he saw it.

“Let’s go,” I yelled and started to run.

The other me kept up stride for stride, obviously forgetting about his predicament of nature.

As the dot got closer, it seemed like it could have been anything from a hill to a billboard.

It was a building! We started to get tired at the same time but the realization there was something ahead of us kept us going.

The structure was an oddly shaped store. It was one story and the roof was a hodgepodge of different styles. It had a peak on one end, was flat in the middle and had what looked like missionary style stucco on the other. The windows along the sides were all different shapes. There was a tree house that jutted from the backside at a 45 degree angle. It would be near impossible to climb into it.

Of course, I thought, anything else would not make sense. I laughed again out loud, glad to at least find something new even if it did look like it was built by Dr. Seuss.

“I like it,” said the other me with disdain.

Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Just behind the building was an overgrown dirt path that led off over the surrounding hills. I followed it with my eyes to the base of a gigantic Castle. I could not believe I had missed it, but assumed the audacious building I stood in front of initially hid it from me.

The other me noticed it too. “That leads right to the Wizard!”

I half expected him to take off sprinting down the dirt path but he stayed still, as if he was waiting for me to take the lead.

I looked at the direction the golden road went and measured that the new path cut the journey in half at least. It was an easier way to get to the destination for sure. It was probably softer too. The golden road was stiff and did not make for comfortable walking.

I was about to step off the golden road but for some reason I hesitated. I remembered Patricia’s statement, ‘Just make sure you start on the right road.’

She did not mention anything about a dirt path. Of course, she did not mention anything about a twin me or this funny building either. However, something told me this was different. Something told me this was not the ‘right road.’

I turned my attention back to the misshapen building, making a decision the dirt path was not an option for me. I was not quite sure, but I could have sworn I heard a faint cheering from the direction I had come.

“It probably has a bathroom,” I noted. At that suggestion the other me headed straight to the front door of the store.

As I followed the other me inside I noticed a small, almost unnoticeable sign above the door reading “I Got Center.” I wondered why they made it so inconspicuous. The letters were painted the same color as the siding.

Once inside the other me made for the back in a hurry. The inside of the store was gigantic. There was no possible way this was the same store I saw from the outside. I could barely see the far wall. It was at least a couple hundred yards long. There were rows and rows of shelves. It seemed endless. The whole set up was haphazard. Some of the rows were cut off by other rows. It reminded me of one of those trick mazes a friend gave me as a boy, the kind that had no real outlet. I chuckled again as I watched the other me as he walked up and down the different isles, often having to stop and turn around. He was grumbling quite loudly.

To my left was a small cashier’s booth. Nobody was behind the table though. I walked over to the first row of shelves that stood about shoulder’s height. A small sign dangled from a rod in the middle of the top shelf. All it state was, ‘MINE.’

I shook my head wondering why the proprietor would display his own items right upfront. Not much of a businessman I thought. The items on the shelves varied from socks to light bulbs. There seemed to be no organization at all. The only consistency I saw were jars that were placed in between the items in intervals of about ten. I picked one up and read the label.

“Jenny’s glance from across the room,” I said out loud. Confused I replaced it and went to the next jar. It read ‘Mr. Rinsky’s approving smile.’

The next few were labeled just like that. From ‘Edy’s jealousy at my presentation,’ to ‘Sunshine on my graduation day.’ They were as varied as the items on the shelf and seemed to have no connection. Everything on the shelves had a small orange sticker at the bottom stating, ‘Not For Sale.’

My belly rumbled just then and I gave up on trying to understand the first row. I lifted up on my toes and began to scan the store for a food section. The next moment settled onto me slowly like a light drizzle. Uneasiness turned to confusion then to fear as I realized all the rows and all the shelves in the whole store had the same label above them. The word ‘MINE’ never sounded so sinister. I stopped myself from looking. I did not have to. I was sure each and everyone was, ‘Not For Sale.’

I tip toed left and right trying to spot the other me but I did not see him. The Witch had us trapped. I knew I could not leave him but I also was not about to enter the maze. I stood frozen, not knowing what to do.

“That’s not for sale you know,” came a voice from my left. I nearly fell over from fright. “I heard you pick up that jar.”

I expected to see anything from the Black Witch herself to a dragon. Instead, from behind the counter, rose up the most preposterous person.

“Oh, come on,” I said sarcastically. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Not in the least,” said yet another copy of myself. “It’s clearly located in the isle labeled ‘MINE.’”

The second me walked over, fixated on the last jar I had been looking at. Before picking it up he bumped into me and nearly made me fall over. It did not even seem to register to him.

“Ah, this is a special one,” he said dreamily. “You know, it rained on all my friends’ graduation day.”

“You went to a separate graduation?” I asked.

“The same,” he said matter of factly shaking his head.

Oh no, I thought. Another liar. I was not sure I could handle it. One was unique, maybe even eclectic, but two was just plain annoying.

I decided to get to the point right away.

“My friend and I, us… I mean we,” I shook my head in confusion, “are thirsty and hungry. Do you have any supplies that are for sale?” I wondered then what the currency was in this world. It was very possible I was totally broke.

“I got thirsty once,” said the second me as he started to walk back to the counter. “Then I decided I didn’t want to be thirsty.”

“What does that mean?” I asked completely flustered. “You don’t have any water? What about your customers?”

He did not even turn to respond. “Why have water when I never get thirsty?”

I stopped trailing him, watching as he casually walked around the counter and sat on a high stool. It was tall enough that he could survey the whole store. There was a cylindrical looking glass on a shelf next to him. He picked it up and extended it full length. He then began to slowly move it left and right, as if he was scanning the items in each of the rows.

I thought about his last statement for a moment. He got thirsty only once and after he decided he did not like the feeling, he never got thirsty again. I wondered if that was possible. In this world, I supposed, anything might be. I was worth a try.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my empty stomach. I tried to remember the feeling of a satisfied stomach after a light meal. I repeated over and over in my mind, ‘I’m not thirsty or hungry.’

The feeling rescinded. I could not believe it had actually worked. I wondered how far the power of thought went in this world. The possibilities were endless.

Just when I started to make a wish list, the first me came up from behind.

“It took me no time at all to find the bathroom,” he said breathlessly. “Have you found some water and food?”

“We don’t need any,” I said still mystified at the idea.

“No, No, No!” screamed the second me. He slammed down his looking glass and jumped off the stool. “There is only one customer allowed at a time in my store. Only one at a time.”

“Why?” the first me and I asked in unison.

“I do not allow more than one,” he said in near panic.

It was then I noticed he was not looking at us. His eyes were directed our way but they were not focused on either of us.

I took a few steps to the side and said, “Can you see me?”

The second me was very startled. “Three? No, No, No. There is only one customer allowed at a time. Get out. All of you.”

I was about to try to calm him down when he picked up a yardstick and began to waive it around frantically.

“O.K., O.K.,” I said sidestepping the waving stick.

The first me backed up as well. “Dude,” he said. “Let’s just get out of here. The Wizard will have something to eat and drink.”

At that, the second me stopped his volley.

“The Wizard?” he asked. “Yes, of course. I never should have doubted myself. I knew the answer would come. The Wizard can fix my glasses.”

He pulled out of his pocket a broken pair of glasses. “I’ll be able to run my business again.”

It occurred to me then that the second me could see just fine. He just could not see us. It explained how he walked straight to the jar I picked up and why he was so adamant about only one person in his store at a time.

I was forced to ask myself what type of sickness causes only the blindness to other people?

“You may join me, I suppose,” he said smugly. “Follow me gents. I’ll lead us straight to the Wizard.”

Something about those events offended me greatly. Was I supposed to think this all a sick joke and cast it aside in anger? Whoever was setting this stage hardly knew me at all. Not only were those characters way off basis, the whole scenario was laughable. It was not infuriating. On the contrary, it was hilarious.