Fake Indifference

Where are you?
I’m scared to know
Scared to feel

When you left
I felt undressed
Numb to the touch
Undergoing too much
Isolation

Touch to the senses
Lost in offenses
Never knew the heart
Was blind to insenseless
Words, feelings, hurts, healings

Clouding my sight
Searching for light
Looking at nothing
But insight and fright

Crying out loud
Honor allowed
Desperation and hollow frustration
Led to a series of cold calculations

Cannot look up
Want to look back
Feeling trapped
Un-relaxed

What did I learn
Never to turn
An unfinished product
Into a yearn of the heart

Always to part
A gap taken out
With the part of the soul
That wants to let go

Of the control that you place
When you’re ice-cold and waste
That part of your life
That doesn’t care to save face

To twirl in the air
Ethereal- no cares

But then soon enough
You’ll end up again
At the bottom of the pit

Unable to stand
Trying to regain
The joy of that band of light

But nowhere was it said
That everything ends

The heart just pretends
It’ll rise up again
With plenty of scars at the ends

But it can regain the feeling of light
That goes with the pain
Never to blame-

I’ll collect my own truths
Somehow thru the rain