Survival in the Eternal

Have people lost all faith in humanity? A disproportionate number of people are atheists. They believe there is no afterlife so they fight for everything they can do in this world right now. If this is all that we have, we must fight to protect it. In a way that preserves hope and allows people to fight for everything. Perhaps lack of belief is what can in essence save this world.

However....that's my biggest fear...that this is it... After so much we fight for in this life for salvation and redemption...waste our lives for it...If this is it then there's really no point worth fighting...for the afterlife, that is.

So is lack of hope for an afterlife a good thing? Does it in essence help us because it's the only thing that allows us to focus on reality, or is there another reality? Is it indeed a kind of hope? Not a hope in future lives, but hope in this one. Hope in humanity. Hope in the human spirit. But how can we put so much hope in something so perishable?

What is ironic is that that is my biggest fear, that there is nothing after This. That This is Eternity. It is my Eternity because it's all that shall ever be? Is this all that shall ever be?

Can all the Beauty of the World, the Beauty of all that is, the Hope, the Pain, the Life, the Works of all that was and ever shall be lie merely in a Memory? Is that the only way to truly Live on? Alright then the only way to truly live on is to Live.

But that Thought frightens me beyond comprehension. It keeps me up shaking and crying in the night, unable of simple Thought. That if this is all that there is...the lack of Existence. I End. I no longer can be, except in the minds and hopeful memories of others, that we must strive, strive to be all that we can be so we can make the faintest mark on History, to strive for Survival in the Eternal if you will. Is that the only way to truly survive?

Why then do only those who don't care exist on? In the sense of course, of remembrance.

But that isn't fair! Cosmically it's horrible that no one can live on, except in the minds of others. What of those who choose a solitary life? What of those who one forced on them? Are they to suffer for their apathy, or lack of availability? Then again is it suffering for those that chose this outing?

Why, oh, why can't I choose my own Ending! Is there some evil in Continuing my Existence? The fight for Survival, is that not the central theme that has shaped the entire evolution of our planet since the beginning of recorded life? Why do they [the animals] fight for it so? Is it so that they might continue on, in another life, or because they know that their is no other existence and that they are scrambling so very desperately to hold on to the one plane of existence that they were cursed into. To be given a gift so beautiful as Life and to have it so heartlessly dragged away.

What then of those that were given essential Hell on Earth? Did they exist in another life and this is their sufferance, suffering and Ignorant of the reason why? Oh, true justice for those who seemingly don't deserve it! But what then when they die? Is it merely Relief? That, then, is a Blessing, no?

Or is it all mere coincidence that we happen to be here? And where is Here, exactly?

A rock.

A fucking pebble that exists that is the universe that is an atom that makes up a grain of Sand that exists in a larger plane of Existence. Do we go to one Collective? Why? Do we become part of a greater conscienciousness? We must suffer to bring information to it. We are indeed merely tools for a greater good. Why not another crackpot Matrix-based thereom that the "Great Collective" is merely an alien super-computer? However how could such a theory be crackpot?

After all, the True Good Lord is nothing more than a Blessed Zombie who is his own Father with Magical Powers. Why such thoughts are Blasphemy!

Surely I'll be sent to Hell. But if Hell indeed does exist, then perhaps it's merely Punishment. Are we then fighting for Lack of Survival? Would the death in essence be a blessing if there is no more sufferance, no more existence?

Then atheists are merely the learned, and those with beliefs in the afterlife and reincarnation are merely Denying their Destinations.

Perhaps reincarnation is indeed Chance after Chance to escape the inefitable and receive the Blessed beauty of Death.

Then the Ultimate Question with this proposed theory is What is Heaven? Perhaps there is no such thing. It could be a way to justify Death. "Accept the Inevitable." Merely a source of Propoganda. Or else it could be an actual place. Perhaps this is Heaven. When you finally do good you acheive a break from Eons of Nonexistence. Those that do good in life are blessed with the opportunity to Survive. Perhaps this is their medium of Survival, or perhaps they are granted it in the next Life.

Then again perhaps only those who can separate themselves from the Ultimate and focus on the Here and Now, atheism, uncaring, intent only on Hope for Humanity, would be the key in focusing in on the good to acheive Salvation. Only giving up hope [in the Ultimate], or rather gaining it [in Humanity] gain you, or rather Save us All. Is one martyr the true way to save Humanity?

Is that the true source of the Saints, for they are the saviors, or of the Gods, as they are the ones in past lives who allowed us to live Now? Must we save Ourselves, All, only those Whom We Care About, or give up All Hope, resign, and truly become Apathetic to save us?

Even then, would we save ourselves, are we saved from the Afterlife, or rather the Lack Thereof?

Oh, how I wish to Live! Is it truly so Hopeless that there is no definable way to save myself from either Hell, both equally deemable as that of Heaven?

There is no way to Know if I or Anyone or Anything can save me from Anything, and Anyhow.

Perhaps there lies in the answer.

In not Knowing.