Why Pills and Pot Don't Mix

WhY PiLls and pOt DoN’t miX
All day I wanted a hit. I waited countless hours, just so I could be like them. Feel what they feel. I was prepared. I was sick of just feeling the effects of my meds. I knew I was pretty messed up as it was, but this was something I needed to do. Still, if I had stopped taking my pills, things could have gotten a lot worse than they already were. Abilify, my savior and regret all compressed into a capsule ingested down my 18 year old mouth. So I took my medication, and I loaded the empty cigar with what I thought was instant pleasure. I tapped it, twisted, and waited, just like they said. I waited for something good but never got there until I finally said to hell with it and walked out the door.
I walked half way down the street and pulled it from my pocket. It was so small, and yet so heavy. I could lift it, I knew I could. With a smile on my face, I glued my lips to one end and lit up. I smoked, and I coughed, and I smoked and I couldn’t see. There was just a cloud of white that surrounded me, but I kept going, and it kept getting darker.  I smoked so much my teeth turned to marshmallows, and my face and eyes felt like putty about to be scraped up against a crack in some fat guy’s bathroom wall.
I continued up the narrow or extremely wide street, alone, but I had friends on either side, at least it seemed so for a while. Suddenly everyone left me and I walked through the haze by myself. It was amazing. I was on this track and my roller coaster feet rolled up and down the street. My hands were gigantic and when I flapped my ears, I walked so fast, everything became blurry. Even time was moving slower. Then came a flash of light to my right. I became frightened and hid inside my ocean of a coat. I heard voices so I kept walking, logically because voices always make you walk. This was the single most incredible thing in my life, but then I met God. He was a yellow cupcake, or a street light, I can’t remember which. I was scared but I kept walking and eventually I got tired and turned around. Then out of the darkness came a blue and red demon. It looked tasty, so I ran to it, but there was God again. A great angry ball of light. The voices came back, and started singing to me. Like a choir of angels accompanied by the loud whistle of the cherry and blueberry bird. I reached out to them, ready to surrender my life to my savior. They grabbed me tight, I knew they wouldn’t let go. Their hands were cold, but the back of the strawberry and plum bird was warm. We flew fast, and high. Everything below me seemed so close. Whoever said that people look like ants from the sky is a dumbass. I could probably see better though if that damn bird didn’t fly so fast.
When the bird landed in what seemed like heaven, my legs felt like Jell-O, the green kind. The Holy Spirit led me to the gate of my eternal chamber. St. Peter was standing by in a blue gown that sparkled in the light. He had many keys, and he even had one special for me. They unlocked my beautiful palace door, that was lined with stone walls and overflowing fountains filled with chocolate. This was to be my home for eternity, and I was so overjoyed I let my insides flow out of my mouth. I was sort of disappointed because it flowed right into the chocolate fountain. Oh well. St. Peter locked the door, to keep me away from the temptation outside of the kingdom, and with that I lay down on my bed. I stared at the floor. It was wet, and mirrored the ceiling. I thought it looked like the paintings by Michelangelo in the Sistine chapel, but it was just some more of that stuff that came out of me earlier. I could smell it. Slowly I drifted off to sleep, and could only think of how great my life had been, and how I’m here. Forever I lay here, in a paradise that I thought I could never find. I can’t wait until tomorrow. I want to see what the rest of heaven is like outside of my chamber.