SPORTS, why can't we win the big game(s)

Sports, Why can't we win the big game(s)
Girls 12 and under.
This is a story about blind faith and belief in something that you know exists, but cannot touch, taste or see, but rather only feel.

Years ago, my daughter (Sarah) had the good fortune to be recruited to play for a traveling softball team. She had played softball from the age of six to present and had played on the eight and under team at age seven. Then, for two years, she played on the ten and under team, at age eight and nine. She had enjoyed great success, as her team had both talent and balance and earned invitations to “A” tournaments, and placing high at the finish. Both coaches and parents were proud! Proud that these girls did so well at the “ club “ level. Each year had shown steady improvement. We felt that we were seeing the building of a future championship team.
Then it was on to the twelve and under bracket. There were obvious physiological changes that the team was going through, as well as, personality conflicts. I had seen it before in other child athletes. The so-called “ gawky stage”.
Both internal and external forces began to have an impact on the team. Growth spurts had an impact on their consistency. This time the girls played, at times as well, but overall not as well as they had in the past. Something was missing. This prompted a screaming tirade from the coaches, whom had expectations of winning, and a lot of finger pointing from the parents, as well. We were un-accustomed to failure. I however, tried to not let my emotions push me into a knee jerk reaction. I realized that there were points being made from all sides. Perhaps rightly so, perhaps not. As my Father had told me, “ Son, there are two, or more, sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in-between “. He also said, among his many pearls of wisdom, that "when you are tempted to react swiftly to something that you hear, that is of an outrageous or inflammatory nature STOP! Take a deep breath." Take some time to wait for all the facts to come out before going off half uh, well you know. Usually you will find that what you had heard in the first instance was not the entire truth. So you will have saved yourself the embarrassment and a possible apology later by not commenting to early on.
Our team had lost their physical, mental and emotional balance. They had ceased being "a team". Whereas, before we had balanced the focus between seeing the sites and enjoying the swimming pool, with hard work in practices and play at away tournaments. Never losing focus on the “how and why” we were there and yet still managing to enjoy the experience and have fun playing the game of softball. Traveling from State to State affords these girls a great opportunity to explore and enjoy themselves. It, as well, should have taught them self-discipline, as they are all reminded that “ at all times “ they are ambassadors for their communities and sport. This is all a part of the experience that is club sports. It all adds to the growth of the athletes, both in body, mind and spirit.
However, I noticed the girls were beginning to form cliques and following their parents in their comfort zones as well. It began to take on the look of a group of individuals, as opposed to” a team “.We still made a, “well enough“, effort to be invited to tournaments, all be it, the “B” tournaments.We went to Chicago, Indiana, Michigan, Iowa and Wisconsin, tourneys, but we did not fare well there, at all. Finally the coaches had it out with the parents and threatened to quit! One of the coaches asked each of us, individually, if we wanted to coach the team. I convinced them to reconsider quitting and hold a meeting at seasons end and ask for our “ positive “ input. They did and many points were discussed, at that time.Some of the highlights were; that we (the parents) allowed our girls to leave their game in the hotel swimming pool the night before (lack of discipline). That, the coaches yelled at them far too much. That we did not do enough together as a team (to promote harmony). That even though a girl may have blown off a practice or two for highly personal reasons, she should still start, because, after all, her parents paid money for her to play and not sit the bench (poor work ethic). That everyone went their separate ways, so much so, that it led to angst and confusion among the team members and parents. I think that it went much deeper than that and I relayed these thoughts to one of the coaches. She asked me if I would share those thoughts by writing something for her that she could hand out later. That afternoon I sat down and wrote out my thoughts and feelings in a letter and hand delivered it to our coaches that very same afternoon.
I thought back to some of the teams that I was so very privileged to have watched over the years. The UCLA Bruins basketball team (the John Wooden years) The Lakers championship team 1972 (Wilt Chamberlain era), The Chicago Bulls (Phil Jackson/Michael Jordan era) and of course my old high school football team The Carson Colts (the Eugene Vollnogle years). My high school has ten football championships. Nineteen visits to the championship game and most all the California State titles and records, (see Carson Colts, Carson, California). Nine of those titles were achieved under one head coach! Eugene Vollnogle. Who, upon retiring from High School football, went on to win two college football championships (in just three years) at El Camino college, before finally fully retiring? What made these such great teams? What sustained that greatness throughout those years? This was that letter…..

Sports :Why can't we win the big game(s)? Girls 12 and under.
I have been a fan of sports for as far back as I have memories. The wonderful lessons that can be learned through playing the game(s), whatever they may be, if learned, are tremendous. I don't profess to having an intricate knowledge of all of the finer or technical aspects of these games, (I believe that is why we have coaches/experts), but from what I can see, and from a novice's point of view, I would like to share with you “the reader” some observations that I have had concerning what I see to be common traits  that the very best of teams share. I have always viewed it as a privilege and an honor to be able to watch truly gifted athletes perform, through out my life, in whatever endeavor.
However, I, as well, have found it to be of an equal privilege to watch the not so gifted athletes. To watch them struggle and grow both as athletes and as people through sports. As I told one such twelve year old who was dejected after a less than stellar game, " When, at the end of your season, if you can look in the mirror and answer yes to the following questions; Did I give it everything that I had to give, every game for my team? Am I a better person today than I was when I started the season? Did I show good practice habits? Am I a better sportsman (person) today, than I was at the start of the season? Have I improved and learned more about my sport than I knew at the start of the season? Was I an unselfish player and a good ambassador for both my sport and my team? If you can answer yes to those questions, then you are "a winner!” Try to think of the win/loss record as a kind of a team report card. NOT the end all.
It has been my experience that not all participants in sports, gifted or not, get it. The main lesson that I see as, “The metaphor for life” is the game itself. With all that it encompasses, such as pain, politics, parents, cliques, egos, luck, technical skills, rules, opponents, coaches, umpires and playing conditions, equipment, having fun etc. Just as in life, there are positives and negatives, and opportunities and disappointments, as well as, luck good or bad. How we choose to deal with them tells a lot about the kind of character we have, both as an individual and as a team. As Americans we are taught, almost from birth, and in so many ways that there are two kinds of people in the world of sports, winners and losers and not much room in-between. Sometimes we get so caught up in the expectation of winning, and at such an early age, so much so, that it overshadows the learning process. We, as a people, don't give much thought to what can be learned from the losing. In defeat one is afforded the opportunity to learn as well. To rededicate oneself. In the orient it would be called "Emulating the Master or Sensei", in this case one would be emulating the better team(s). One can take something away from one's opponent in every loss that can be used to their advantage in the next contest. Therefore, emerging from adversity a stronger team. So what does this all mean? What is the answer to the poser, why can't we win the big game? The following is, what I believe to be, the reason(s).....

Team sport , whatever the game may be, softball, football, baseball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, whatever, is designed to be insurmountable by any individual or group of individuals. The demands of the game can only be surpassed by a team effort. A team, not of individuals, but of unselfish teammates, who for a short time in their lives, care more about each other than themselves or any of the many distractions that may be happening in their lives at the time. More than who has the latest “Nike” ware or who is the more popular at their school, or any of the more baser petty jealousies that occur, etc. "Winning a contest, against a lesser team, does not necessarily mean that you have won “the game“. The challenge is not simply to best your opponents on the other side, but to prevail over the true challenger, the game itself. There is no better feeling than knowing that you have lent yourself to being a part of something larger than yourself, To be a part of a team effort to overcome a challenge much greater than any individual's effort could mount. It forever bonds you with your teammates.
On the other hand, how many times have we been witness to an individual excelling for oneself at the expense of his or her teammates? A good example is the player that always must swing away for the fence, no matter what the situation. The team sacrificed itself for the achievement of an individual’s accolade. I remember one such parent’s comment to me that he had told the coaches “his girl never bunts! She’s a hitter!“ She never sacrificed the entire year. We had two such girls, and parents, on the team that year. Situations occurred where our team should have bunted to advance the runner and she swung away. She struck out and we lost the game. Once in a “GREAT” while she would connect and it seemed that everyone lived for that single moment, but there wasn’t enough of those moments to warrant the many times that she struck out. Sure there were other influences that effected the outcome as well, but those were the ones that stood out as “momentum stoppers”. Individual accolades can and will come, if deserved, but they must be achieved with in the team concept. With all the many distractions that a season brings, it seems that the truly great teams remain focused on the game, and aware in all situations. They have a well thought out scheme. They seem to have grasped the fact that the greatest rewards come to those having the greatest desire.The greatest Heart! The desire to be the best, at any cost, even if it means the temporary loss of one's individualism. One does not become dependent, but rather interdependent.
Unselfishness, caring about every teammate, so much so, that the very last thing that you would want to have happen is to let your teammates down or have them let you down. Positiveness! To see only the best and to encourage only the best. Character, To know that if a teammate is struggling in some area of development, rather than simply pointing fingers or scoffing, you have done your best to help support and encourage that teammate, so that they cannot be placed in the un-enviable position of letting the team down either.The great teams that I have truly been blessed to have enjoyed over the years all have had these traits and qualities in common.

DO YOU? DO WE?
Thanks,
Bill



PS. When we first started out we were all friends and the girls wanted to play, oh how they wanted to play. Softball was new and exciting to them. There was no way but up for them and it was fun. Then somewhere along the way it became work. It no longer was fresh, new and exciting. I think the best coaches are those that have not only the technical capacity, but also the capability to keep it fresh and new and exciting, and most of all fun!