Tears In The Dark

I tried to write a poem today
I tried to express my grief,
My heartache, my unending pain.
I tried to eloquently describe
All the things I feel within
All the reasons I just can't sleep
Why thousands of tears, of late
Keep caressing my downcast face.
I tried so hard to explain away
All the sounds of sobbing
Resonating in the lonesome dark.
Nothing but my grief and so many tears
Keep me company through the long night.
I tried to come up with a way to tell
I thought deep, long and hard
Until all my thoughts began to bleed
Incoherent then, unable to move
Nearly drowning my mind in sorrow.
I tried to write you a poem, dear brother
But finally I realized
No words in any language, none fair nor foul
Could tell how deeply I grieve for you, beloved.
So many things I wanted to say to you-
Now I have to hope that somehow, you know
As night's silent embrace envelops me again
And once more, ragged sobs and silent tears
Are all to be found in the dark.

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Sean, as I re-read these words I realize they don't even begin to describe how I feel. I tried to pour out my heart on paper, but the right words just wouldn't come. I don't know if I can write anymore. At least, not until the pain of losing you subsides a little bit. This poem I wrote two nights ago does no justice to your memory whatsoever, but I had to get something on paper and this was all I could decipher from the helter-skelter thoughts that kept whirling around in my head. I hope that you like it. I miss you so very much, Sean....oh God how I miss you!!! Earlier I watched the video collage of your pictures, and you are so full of life in them, it's so hard to believe you're gone. I've heard so many great stories of things you've done for people, things you've said, and I just hope you know somehow that hearing the things your friends have told me has made me so very proud to have been your sister. I love you, Sean, and I miss you so very much. I can't wait to see you again.

Love, Heather.