This is July 5

This is coming from deep inside. I feel the explosion about to occur and I wonder if like the creepy roaches that meander through these walls – I’ll survive. Perhaps, Perhaps not.

It’s funny this feeling coming over me like a wave of frustration and repression. It’s like I’ll never be able to breath again. Like I’ll never be able to break the weave of the spiders web that bathes my wet skin.

Pasty, flow, feeling, false    fail.

If I can never tell you, I’ll write you.

I need you like the tears that weep to the Gods. Heart. I need you like the sun to the earth and the wind to the desert.

I can see you in my minds site. Don’t leave- I can feel your fingers touching mine and I’m afraid I’ll never see you again. I can’t handle it. I can’t handle you. Touch, touch, touch, too touch. I can’t ever, I can never, I can’t never.

Bless me with your soul and sounds from your lips penetrate my heart. Help me I’m drowning in you.

This letter I write you from my soul.  A secret envelope to reach you but what if there is an obstacle. Can you fight- will you fight it to reach me. I’ll reach for you until the earth moves and swallows me down to the core.

Press your body against mine. Breathe in my ear and I feel your lips on my neck. Don’t move just hold it … Let me hold you in my minds eye.

Capture me. Please don’t forsake this moment. I know you don’t need me anymore I know that you’ve worked so hard to move on. I wasn’t ready for you when you arrived at my door but I’ve now realized that you’re the one I’ve been missing these years. How could I have forgotten the promises? No, I’ll never forget your promise.

You’ll only make love to me, you’ll only make love to me, to me, too me. No, no one else. You’ll only make love to me, we’ll only make love.