Dream and reality

Harish was feeling tired after the day’s work. He felt sleepy as soon as he entered his bedroom. He did not bother to take off his formal clothes and just dozed off. The dreams welcomed him to his past, again. He relived his past in his dreams often and felt grateful as the dreams and flashbacks were the only link between him and his parents, who had died in an accident when he was just twelve. His father had served in the Navy for fifteen years and as far as he did remember, he had stayed in the naval colony with his mother, his younger brother Nikhil and his grandparents.

Then, he had cried almost every night for a month or two when he was alone, but had always controlled himself when with his younger brother, who was tearful most of the time. But, they had managed well out of the crisis which life had thrown at them at such an age. He had then stayed with his grandparents at their native village nearby. He had graduated as a mechanical engineer now and his brother was studying in the college for a commerce degree. His parents would be really proud of them, he thought.

***

Tonight in his first dream, he was very young, and perhaps could not even talk. His mother was applying ointment to his hand, which was slightly burnt by some fire cracker. It was painful. He was crying and holding on to his mother. ‘Why this memory? Why not a happy one?’ he thought and it clicked – this explains the dark scar on his right hand palm. His dreams often revealed the answers he was looking for. He tried to focus but the scene was blurring out. He identified the little boy standing at his side, curiously looking at his burn mark as his younger brother who was showing an expression of shock and helplessness. Fire crackers were exploding everywhere and it must be the Diwali festival.

***
The scene changed and he was in a room clutching at the sheets that were spread on the bed. The room was echoing with loud voices from the adjacent room. His parents were quarreling. He tried to focus on the words but they were incomprehensible. He was nearly crying and felt scared as the room was dark and he felt really lonely. He had started crying and just then his parents came in and turned on the light. He ran for his mother and clutched her, who lifted him in her arms and carried him to the bed. She was cuddling and caressing him till he felt he was asleep. The scene changed again slowly.
***
He was trying to speak out loud for something but no words came out of his mouth. His eyes hurt and so did his neck. He was feeling very weak. He was bed ridden with some small sized colorful bottles and fruits kept in the tray near his headrest. ‘Where is this place?’ he thought and then he remembered that he had been hospitalized, for over a month, for treatment of some infection at the age of ten. The hospital was looking very bright, painted in white all over the room and with matching bed sheets and curtains. The room was having one sofa and a table in front of it beside the bed.

‘Why have I chosen this memory?’ he thought? And the answer came instantly to him – his mother was sitting in the chair with his brother snoozing in her lap. She was looking really tired and his younger brother was looking very innocent as he slept. But why was he feeling jealous? Why wasn’t he feeling relieved to see them? These questions were clouding his mind and then the door to his room swung open. A lady doctor came in with a nurse. His mother had awakened by the creak of the bed raiser wheel, which the nurse was turning steadily.

“Hema, you could take a break now for he is out of danger.” She said with a reassuring pat on her shoulder, “Initial tests had shown some blood in urine, some disturbed anabolism and unsteady heart rate but the situation is much better now. His blood counts are improving and the temperature is stabilizing at the normal level. He will be well within a week, I guess.”

She sat on the sofa next to his mother with the charts and his case file. His brother, Nikhil, lay asleep on the edge of the sofa.

“Thanks Doctor. I was really worried.” His mother said wiping sleep off her eyes.

“Call me Priya dear, or I would have to call you Mrs. Rao.” And both had a little laugh. He remembered Dr. Priya Prakash. She was the resident doctor at the naval colony hospital. She was very kind to him after his parents had passed away. She had helped his grandparents to make him and his brother mentally stronger to face the life ahead. He remembered her bringing her family also to meet them at their house every now and then. The bond between their families had started when he was taken ill.

“He is still weak and can barely speak. This has never happened to him. He was always the healthier of these two. His younger brother gets always feverish even at the slightest hint of season changes.” His mother spoke with a hint of concern in her low but clear voice.

“Oh and how is Nikhil? His sneezing has stopped, I see. Keep him away from his brother for a while, as these viral fevers are catchy, you know.”

“Yes. But he is very curious and keeps looking at Harish and the I-V drip. He has never seen him sleeping all day, and never sick like he is now! He asks me if he could skip school to give his brother a company!”

“That is really nice, Mrs. Rao. Kids are really an emotional lot. Mine are never staying friendly when they are with each other.”

“I know he hates his school, and wonder if that is in his mind or does he like his brother really that much. I saw him caressing Harish’s hand with the injected needle today. I was watching him from behind the door glass and did not prefer to barge in. I felt relieved. They are not so friendly everyday though.”

“Some kids cannot show emotions as easily as others. But they are experts in loving. They do not hesitate to show it physically some times. May be we should take a cue from them, I feel.” And both giggled. He was watching them through his squinted eyes. He did not open them fully just not to break this conversation and listen to what they were talking.

“I think Harish showed particular liking towards his younger brother when he was a baby. He would try to make him laugh and sometimes even feed him and enjoyed every moment of it. But as they grew older, the bond somehow seemed missing. Sibling rivalry, I guess!”

“Yes. It is worse between equal gender siblings. They compete for attention, mainly. I have a daughter and a son and still feel it. They hate each other when one plays and the other does the homework. It is like cold war. The other will wait for the ‘turn of the tide’ and never restrain in showing off the regained freedom.” His mother nodded with a broad smile. She agreed to all of this. Harish and his brother had been there, done that as he remembered.

“Nikhil was born premature, barely eight months. He was fragile unlike Harish, who despite being born in eight months was very healthy. Nikhil was diagnosed with early birth breathing problems. Harish was never convinced that his baby brother was very weak, but still loved playing with him. Wish they would be as friendly in the future.”

The scene faded away slowly and he had a sound sleep hereafter. The reason why this memory had reappeared in his dreams was clear to him now as he sat at the table for his breakfast the next morning. This had reestablished the bond of love between him and his brother, though he never told his brother this story. He washed his hands quickly and as he got ready to leave, he just whispered to the photograph of his parents ‘Thanks, and keep visiting. I promise to be always nice to Nikhil’. He left for his office on his bike humming his favorite nursery rhyme ‘Little brother, Little sister, and my little kitty…”

THE END