Rules Rule

Inspired by Paulo Coelho.


‘Unhappiness is a luxury.’

You can call that a paradox, a contradiction or even a fabricated statement made up by a thick-headed teenager who knows nothing about life whatsoever, but the bottom line is that it’s true. Denying something true doesn’t change its authenticity. In fact, it reinforces it. We humans have a tendency of avoiding reality, we believe what distant colleague tells us about the murder of a celebrated actress, but we refuse to accept the story of the person who fills us in about the beautiful miracle he witnessed, totemic of God’s mysterious designs and ways.

How do you define unhappiness? Unhappiness is not reflected in the eyes of a beggar dressed in thatched clothes, sitting on the asphalt, asking for alms from highbrow business men in starched suits and pressed ties.  At least, that beggar is a free man; free to follow in his dreams, free to do whatever he likes without pondering the consequences of his actions.

The true feeling of unhappiness can be found in all those shallow socialites who take hours to dress up, style their hair, and go to parties only to exclaim, over wine and cutlery, how wretched their lives are. They go home, indulge in the usual household chores; do the dishes, clean the attic even though its already spotless, lecture their kids, visit their neighbors to discuss that who got fired and who broke up with whom, meaningless chit-chat, anything to keep them sheltered from the aspect of facing reality. When the truth is that they feel incomplete; something is always missing. They want more from life than a hard-working husband and a pretty house set in the suburbs. They want dreams, they want desires, anything to break the monotonous chain of events, anything to hold on to and fly away with it. They want freedom, happiness.

You might ask what’s wrong with that. It’s not a sin to dream even though you know its fulfillment is a novelty. And I fully agree with that, but what troubles me is that why do these people want to quench their thirst for adventure by mere day-dreams, why don’t they acknowledge the fact that there is a possibility that these dreams might come true if they work hard enough.

When questioned, such people reply that they are bound. They say that they are committed to all sorts of relationships; mother, father, wife, daughter. They have children to take care of, bills to pay, jobs to go to, and chores to attend to. They claim that marriage is a promise; a promise of staying together till death. What they don’t realize is that love never bound anyone; its people who use it as an excuse to bound themselves because they are afraid. Afraid of doing what there heart tells them to, afraid of following their dreams. Love is not about killing your dreams, burying your desires in a pact of eternity. Everyone has dreams; the only difference is that most people don’t make an endeavor for the accomplishment of that particular dream. They sit before the TV, after a hectic day at work, watching the same sitcom reruns. They feel unhappy but simply console themselves by saying, ‘that’s life.’ When the truth is that’s not life; that’s dying whilst you were still alive, that’s homicide. Life is adventure, risk, joy. Life is discovering the things that make you happy. Life, if understood properly, is pure, eternal bliss.

People don’t understand me. They say that I am a naïve child and have no experiences about the hardships life offers. But the fact of the matter is that age is not an obstacle on the path to discovery. Joan of Arc was merely seventeen years old when she was made the leader of the French troops, because her strategies of defending the battalion were ingenious. And as far as my argument is concerned, I would like to add that life is hard for those who tend to make it hard. If you place your trust in the ‘thing,’ then it will guide you to your ultimate crossroad. God is not going to come down from the heavens and beg you to be happy; he only helps those who seek, who seek love, life, and things that are beyond their knowledge. Someone wise once said, ‘God helps those who help themselves.’

Renounced author, Paulo Coelho, beautifully described the same concept in his latest book, entitled, The Zahir. In the following paragraph, the writer is explaining why the distance between railway tracks is always 143.5 centimeters or 4 feet 8.5 inches, an odd measurement quite hard to remember.

‘When they built the first train carriages, they used the same tools as they had for building horse-drawn carriages. And why that distance between the wheels on carriages? Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. And who decide that roads should be that width? Well, suddenly, we are plunged back into the distant past. It was the Romans, the first great road-builders, who decided to make their roads that width. Why? Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and when placed side by side, the horses they used at that time took up 143.5 centimeters. So the distance between the tracks I saw today, used by our state-of-art high speed trains, was determined by the Romans. When people went to the United States and started building railways three, it didn’t occur to them to change the width and so it stayed as it was. This even affected the building of space shuttles. American engineers thought the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were built in Utah and had to be transported by train to the Space Centre in Florida, and the tunnels couldn’t take anything wider. And so they had to accept the measurement that the Romans had decided was ideal.’’

And what is the measurement of the distance between railway tracks got to do with all this? Everything. What I want to say is that don’t be afraid to explore the unknown, to breakaway, to find the real you. The risk of adventure is the greatest thrill anyone could ever experience. Just because things have been going the same way since the last century doesn’t mean you can’t change; both yourself and those around you. If everyone was scared of discovering new things, defying the laws, then Galileo wouldn’t have invented the telescope, Carl Jung wouldn’t have put forward his theory of Synchronicity and Albert Einstein wouldn’t have established his three laws of motion. With time, spaces have to be filled, things have to be changed. People have to change; they have to make themselves happy, not on the surface, but spiritually. But they don’t. Because there are rules, ethics that were developed long ago and still have to be followed, without questioning them.

Listen to your mother, she is always right and you are always wrong. Eat what is put in front of you at the table, even if you don’t like it. Finish everything on your plate. Try to spend time with your family, even if it originates nothing except for more fights. Study hard, because you need a degree to succeed. Never pursue careers like writers, artists or join the theater because you’ll always end up as a failure. Become a chemical engineer or a surgeon because that is the key to a happy life. Go through newspaper articles related to metaphysics and psychology so that you can impress people at parties. In high school, do extra-credit work, like working voluntarily in old homes, not because you want to please God by committing a charitable deed, but because it would look good on your university application. Watch the news even though it reports the same assassinations, high-jacks and anecdotes of violence and slaughter everyday. Don’t wear black dresses; it promotes a sense of superstition. Avoid stating your perspective; if a person says he likes George Bush, just nod along. Read ‘To Kill a Mocking Bird’ and ‘Gone with the Wind’ because they are classics and are the best English Literature has to offer. Get married when you are in your twenties, or you’ll be labeled as an old maid or an unfortunate bachelor. Have two kids, not more, not less, one boy and one girl. Don’t let the boy grow his hair out; tell him to keep it short and simple. Let the girl have long hair; they look pretty. Teach them Mathematics and English at home because these subjects require more attention. Give them a glass of milk daily because it’s good for them, go to the gym as it helps you keep fit, indulge in a hobby, preferably swimming. Visit your physician once in a fortnight. Give money to the poor. Create a grand business to pass on to your progeny. Celebrate Eid with gusto, even if you don’t know the origin of this festival. Plant trees in you backyard, clean out your closet, have your car serviced, and go to sleep at ten at the most. Wake up at 4 am. Water the chrysanthemums lined up at the window sill, pray, take a bath, have breakfast because it’s good for your health, drop the kids off to school, kiss them good-bye, go to work, be civil to your colleagues, kiss up to your boss in hopes of a promotion, don’t let your disappointment show if someone else gets it, congratulate your rival, drive home carefully, stop at a the supermarket, buy a bottle of coke, because you never know when some old acquaintance decides to pop up,  reach home, have a fight with your partner, apologise later, try to forget your problems and go to sleep. Wake up the next day at dawn, to go through the same day, frozen in time…

And that’s exactly what everyone is doing; following meaningless rules, the norms of the so-called society blindly, because they are afraid of change, afraid of dreams, afraid of happiness. They don’t change after their dreams with gusto and zeal because it involves uncertainty. What if I am unable to achieve my dream? What if I am still unhappy? What if people label me to be a spontaneous fool? But sometimes, when you are plagued by a paroxysm of self-doubt and insecurity, its better to ignore them and for once in your life, do what you have always wanted to do, do what will bring a smile to a face tautened with worries.  God created man in a world full of possibility. This clearly shows that He wants us to discover, to dream, and to achieve that dream. God didn’t create the rules we are following now; they are self-made. God didn’t tell us to bind our lives and burn out the fire of our dreams, our desires, our hopes, our wants. Then why are we suffocating our souls, whilst trying to maintain an aloof façade to satisfy those around us? We pretend to be petrified of what lies ahead and have me made our lives miserable for ourselves, because it’s easier to compliant than struggle to change the environment. When was it that we ruthlessly snatched the authority of headship from our hearts and silently acquiesced to the expectations and demands of an archaic tribe?

What will happen if people stop following these regulations? Things may get haywire for sometime but at least everyone will be contented, at least they will be happy. Later on, they would not have to tell their grandchildren that their greatest regrets in life were that they weren’t able to travel, or dance in the rain, or
eat a dozen ice lollies in one sitting. They would always blame life for being difficult; whereas they should blame themselves for not giving life a chance. But I know for a fact that they won’t, because people never admit their mistakes. They stay the same, always, 143.5 centimeters apart, afraid of changes, afraid of happiness, suspended in a hollow void, trying to remember when was it that the stars stopped shinning upon them.