a truth of mine.
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Analizing dialogue, products of misinformed, used and untrusting, confused and forever lusting after truth. Diagnosed with a krazy case of anecdotes, I'm scratching past the surface to take all of my notes. I take in the observed signs in order to fill up the space between the lines Deep down, submerged beyond my soul I try to fight back with passion to gain back some control in order to cover the continous growth of my minds gaping hole. Not knowing, or growing, stuck like I'm going to be forever on hold, trying to piece together a truth that can never be known. Exhuasted with trying, lacking motivation to express my love for seeking something deeper, my mind is full and tired, spinning, I'm no longer grinning with the excitement of having an upper hand, barely hanging and not looking for the ability to grip on to something more. That more that can never be ignored, to suppress it leads to the push of feeling depressed. It grows like an infection deep down inside my chest, due to the inflation from my thoughts suddenly being oppressed. Caught between wanting a rest from the need to always be seeking, and still needing to let my thoughts flow as I breathe in order to stop the negativity from its feed...on my mind...my mind which is suddenly a seed for the angst to rush forth and grow from into something more, its tightening roots seem to strangle my core. I miss the outlets of similiar minds, sharing mystical prognosis' and interesting finds with another soul, they all seem to be stuck in suck a division of control, leaving the rest powerless like a vision without any goal. Atomics and warmth of our natural world, taking the minds, doing the deed of fixating fear and frustration in most of mankind. Creation denied the chance to change, it subsides instead inside the greed of powers who forge a safety net to unite and try to succeed in having us all drop down and believe in the need to fight. For nothing, is as it seems to be as through all time, as time itself manifests and is described as fake within my own mind. Senseless pleads to act as though they know best, push out their reasons without any rest, as many express their disbeliefs at the hungry theives while watching the continious aims at the arab chiefs. Full circles inside and without, the divine entities continue showing their faces to me, grasping with full force, controling my vision, peeking through the curtains of sanity, never allowing me to doubt, holding tight so I'm always curious as to what each moment could be, should be, or may be about. I watch the clocks, seek the sun and the moon, try to bleed with the stars soft sprinkles of satisfaction as a way to ignore my defeating gloom, still not understanding how my mind can be so two faced, trying to seek out why my own concious thoughts can be locked inside enemy gates and yet the core of my satisfaction and attraction to life is found inside my third eye which manages to leave a sweet taste. Tired of the masses, not checking my head but checking my style just as Roberts said, defining the power of societies denials to open their caps, check their egoes, close their traps and grow with the rest. And once again, the paper and pen today are my only friends, all that I have to listen beyond the breeze, the only substances that care to know me best. Superficial, official... take it all for what its worth. Silence is needed so I can let my mind do its work... trust me, its not that I'm trying to ignore... Take the hand of what I'm allowed to see, and carry it forth strongly like the powerful sea. Churning, turning my thoughts into shiny pearls, something that'll succeed to help society trust and believe thats how we all should be. Tempting as it may be to shout out for defeat to come and overtake me, I'm not willing to let the forces to take hold, I need to keep on fighting, fighting for the revival of me and fight to put a stop to my desire for sympathy, and my ignorant cravings for simplicity. |