Situations

  Slowly recovering from the night before I decided a shower was in order. But just before I stepped in the phone rang with David's unrequested voice on the other end, that was all it took for me to be unable to talk my way out of spending the rest of the bloody day with him. After I had cleaned myself sufficiantely I went and met David and we got the 518 bus to the Haymarket. I thanked the driver as I stepped down onto the pavement but the driver didn't even grunt in recognition.

  I had to make the tedious day with David go a bit quicker so I decided to see if my book had came into the shop yet. As I stepped through the doors the rest of the world slipped away into the silence of the store. In the corner farthese from the counter stood a group of students. Three, two males and a female. The two males both had ridiculous small fuzzy beards, either grown purely because they could grow them, or to hide the fact they were getting a double chin.
  "I heard a disgusting fact the other day." I heard one of the males say, the fact he then disclosed was that apparently more households own two cars then two novels. The stupid self-indulgent twats. If books became popular, they'd probably claim they were illiterate just to be bloody different. They probably pretend to take heroin and write pretentious crap and say that the publishers wont publish it because it's too "out there". I had to leave the shop, the damn students were annoying me. David, suggested going to some café he'd once been in that was upstairs in some clothes store he'd once bought jeans in.

  The service was terrible, and I wasn't even getting anything, David was getting a cup of coffee. As we stood inline to pay there were two middle aged, chubby, women, both with dyed purple hair. Conversations about coffee and other cafés were going through my head from every direction. We hadn't moved for a while, the line was completely dead. The two middle aged women were telling the frail girl, who will probably be working in this small shop for the rest of her life, behind the counter that they want to be served by a different person because they vaguely knew her from a time when they were at the cinema together.

  After we finally sat down David noticed someone he knew sitting over at the other end of the smoking area. He came over and joined us, it was one of the Townsend twins, I couldn't tell which. I didn't really want to as one of my good friends was out with John Townsend and he put a date-rape tablet into her drink and he forced her into anal sex in front of all his friends who were laughing at her. She, being emotionally distraught from her ordeal, has been afriad of most people ever since.
  "Alright lads?" he said as he sat down. For around fifteen minutes we all forced small talk by asking question like "What have you been up to?" and "Where are you working now?" Suddenly a Jim Jarmusch film I bought in a charity shop made a lot more sense to me. After some conversation David said the taboo word. "So, where is it you are going on holiday John?"
  "I'm going to Copenhagen." I felt an ice cold shower of ear for all the females in Copenhagen. The bastard, the sick bastard. Why the fuck was he going to Copenhagen? To rape the girls while sick arseholes watch? The stupid bastard. I'm not listening to his shit any longer. I'm leaving this fucking coversation. Fuck him, fuck David. I'm going to kick this wankers face in.

  "Don't fucking move!" an armed man in a Frankenstein masked shouted at the frial girl behind the counter. Before the poor girl had a chance to react the man filled her face with lead and smiled at the red gunge eminating from her wounds. He turned to all the panicing people sitting with their coffee's. He held the gun at the crowd and started firing at any random person. A stray bullet peirced an old mans throught, and another hit his grandchild through the eye. Bodies were hitting the floor all around. The gun man reloaded his weapon and fired at our table. The bullet hit David in the chest. John, the cunt, quickly jumped up onto the table and launched himself into the air and onto the gun man, disarming him. Grabbing him by the legs he lifted him up off the ground and through him through a window. A huge thud rang out as the gun man hit the floor outside. John then ran over to wear David was laying in pain, he took a scalpel out of his pocket, cut the bullet out of his rib, ripped off his shirt and made a bandage and put pressure on David's wound.

  David recovered fairly quickly from his nearly fatal chest wound, he would have been dead had it not been for John. Big brave John. My friend John. My big brave rapist.