Freedom's Call

Amanda sat and stared at the outside of her house, and wanted to cry, wanted to feel the grass under her feet, and the soft kiss of flowers rubbing against her legs and fingers. Wanted once again to see the sparkle of morning dew on the emerald grass, and experience the magic that was in the air as the sun first kissed the sky good morning.
Amanda had tried to go outside once, but she couldn’t make it out the door, couldn’t answer the call of freedom that rang in her ear, every time she looked out the window and saw the birds flying free in the clear blue sky, as tears streamed down her face, tears of pain and longing. She had not left the house since the day her sister Lillian was kidnapped. No one understood why and many of her friends had tried to coax her out of her house, but they had been unsuccessful.
Amanda had been a quiet child, just the opposite of her sister, who could make friends with anyone. She sighed, No use dwelling on what I can’t change. Amanda stood up and walked downstairs the smell of her mother’s homemade pancakes reaching her nose, when she heard her mother’s voice drift out of the kitchen.
“Amanda you’re going to go to stay at your aunt’s house for a week or two.”
Amanda’s eyes went wide in shock as she entered the small kitchen. She hadn’t seen her Aunt Martha since the … well since her sister’s disappearance two years ago. That wasn’t what shocked her though; it was the thought of having to leave the safety of the house.
“W-w-why?” she stammered in disbelief, thinking that perhaps she had heard wrong.
Her mother turned towards her, worry in her brown eyes, her honey colored hair not yet brushed
“Well because me and your aunt agree that it would be good for you to finally get out of the house and see a change of scenery.”
Amanda’s mother’s eyes begged for understanding in what she was doing, yet Amanda could not understand, for her mother knew how much she was afraid.
But all she said was “When is she coming?”
After all what else was there to say?
Her mother looked relieved, and anger flared in Amanda, yet she said nothing afraid that acknowledging it, would make it all to real.
“Tomorrow” her mother answered unaware of her daughter’s anger. “She’s going to take you out to her home in the country.”
Amanda turned from her mother hiding the tears in her eyes.
“Amanda,” her mother said gently, laying a hand on her shoulder. Amanda flinched from the touch, feeling betrayed by the one person she had always trusted, besides her sister and it hurt more than words could say. Amanda ran up the stairs ignoring her mother’s hurt voice, erasing her mother’s shocked look when her daughter flinched from her from memory. All she felt was pain, betrayal, fear, and anger. Her breath came in short, sharp gasps, and sobs racked her body. She bent double, struggling for control, trying to control her emotions, and yet she did not wish to control them. For once she wished to let her emotions flow, let everything she was feeling out. Struggling to breath, blackness started to eat away at her sight. She leaned her fevered head against the cool wall and finally the tears abated. Feeling weak, she climbed slowly to her feet, wiping the hot tears from her face, and fell gratefully upon her soft bed as fresh tears began to burn their paths down her reddened cheeks. That night Amanda cried herself to sleep, her broken sobs becoming her lullaby.
When tomorrow came and the reality once again hit Amanda that she was leaving as she stood in front of her aunt, her emotions once again broke through the barrier she had put up to keep them from overwhelming, causing a storm inside her very being, pushing at her already frayed edges until she burst, turning on mother and screaming
“How could you do this to me? You promised you would do what’s best for me! How is this best for me?!”
Her mother stepped back surprise written all over face.
“Now Amanda, calm down, there’s no need to yell.” She said soothingly.
“No need to yell! Your making me do the thing I fear most, when you say you love me, and you say that there’s no need to yell!” Amanda’s breath came in gasps, rage flooding her body, her face flushed with her anger.
“You don’t really love me do you?!”
Amanda saw the pleading look in her mother’s eyes, yet didn’t stop, she was too scared, and she didn’t want them to know, so she hid her fear with anger.
‘Do you?” She yelled again when her mother didn’t answer. Her chest heaved as angry tears ran down her cheeks soaking her T-shirt, and her auburn hair. Soft moans mixing with her words.
Then Amanda saw something she had never seen, not even when her sister disappeared, she saw her mother cry.
“Of course I love you Amanda, how could you think otherwise?” her mother cried the anguish clear in her voice.
“Please, you cant hate me Amanda, your all I have left, how will I keep living if you hate me?”
Amanda ran to her mother and wrapped her arms around, quietly whispering that she was sorry, sobs choking off the words.
“I have always loved you and always will.” Her mother whispered in her ear.
Amanda’s tears mixed with her mother’s as she held on to her for dear life.
“Amanda, please go with your aunt, for me.” Her mother whispered pleadingly in her ear.
That was how Amanda had left her mom, the tears streaming down her face. On the car ride, Amanda pondered over the fear she had felt. She had never thought such a fear over so simple a thing was possible. It had felt as if her heart would break through her chest, as if she was bleeding from a gaping wound, her body wound as tight as a spring. The world was a vast thing compared to the inside of her house, and she had felt lost and alone, the way her sister must have felt a thousand times, it had been her fault her sister felt that way, her fault that she was kidnapped. If she hadn’t gone home with her friends, it might have never happened.
That was why she never left the house. She didn’t feel as if she deserved the freedom it offered, she felt as if she deserved to be locked up in a prison, and so she had created her own prison, and threw away the key. Leaving the house had been like a man that was locked up in a dungeon for years, and then finally seeing the light, finally being set free. Yet for her it hadn’t exactly been a joyous occasion.
“Amanda look at that” said her aunt startling her out of her reverie. “Isn’t it beautiful?”
Amanda followed her aunt’s gaze and gasped, what she saw was the beautiful thing she had ever seen. The sun set a mix of purples, blues, and a slightly orange color, was beautiful, gleaming off of a silver lake, where a baby deer and its mother stood drinking. The sight stirred emotions in Amanda which she had long since, thought she had forgotten. It made her feel alive again. She no longer wished to be a ghost, a wraith, just wandering endlessly around, she felt alive again if only for a few minutes, no longer a shadow wandering without a purpose. .
When Amanda was alone she headed of towards the far pasture keeping her aunts words in mind.
“Watch out for wild stallions, they still roam free around her.”
Just as Amanda was thinking these words she heard a soft neighing sound. Unable to help herself, even though a voice inside her head told her she should leave, she followed the soft noise. At the edge of the field she saw the most beautiful stallion ever. He was all black, and as he reared, she saw he was also tangled in a rope.
Against her better judgment she walked very cautiously toward him. Suddenly he reared again, startling Amanda so she fell backwards, in surprise. But she wasn’t deterred; she got back up and held out her hand laying it on his neck. The young stallion pranced backwards shaking his head nervously. His silky black mane flew around his head in the wind.
“Easy does it boy” she whispered calmly “I have to get that rope off your neck.”
Slowly the young horse started to calm down as Amanda stroked its neck, and whispered calm words to it.
“That’s it” she said as she slowly lifted the rope from around the stallion’s neck. When she was finished she stepped back and studied the young horse. His midnight black coat gleamed in the sun, and his cocoa brown eyes seemed to study her thoughtfully, though that was probably her imagination. Amanda again stepped towards the stallion, as she did so; he snorted, but did not prance backwards. Slowly, her hand against his side, his silky coat soft under her touch, she came to the fence where he had been tied. Gently she climbed up and threw her leg over his back.
I must be insane. She thought to herself, he has no saddle and he’s a wild stallion.
Yet the horse did nothing, carefully she wrapped her hands in his mane and gently kicked her heels into his sides. That was all the help he needed. In the blink of an eye he took off running, seeming almost to go faster than the wind. Amanda’s hair flew out behind her like a banner, and a gleam came into her eyes. A gleam that hadn’t been in her eyes in awhile. A laugh flew from her lips, and she threw back her head in wild excitement. The young stallion tossed his head, and Amanda knew he was showing off.
She smiled in pure joy, as she watched the cloudless blue sky fly by overhead, and the wildflowers dance under the horse’s hooves. For the first time since her sister’s disappearance Amanda felt free. She forgot about her fear, her pain and her sadness, in the glory of riding this majestic animal. Suddenly the horse stopped, and she heard her aunt’s voice calling to her. Amanda jumped off and stroked the horse’s neck, brushing her fingers through his mane. He snorted and nuzzled her gently, almost affectionately.
She smiled reverently, and said “My sister would have loved you.”
Amanda looked thoughtfully at the young stallion, and then smiled.
“I know the perfect name for you. What do you think about Freedom’s Call?”
The horse snorted his agreement, and Amanda laughed, softly touching her fingertips to her lips, she was surprised how good it felt too laugh. It had been so long since she had truly been happy, that she was unaccustomed to the feeling. Amanda wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, and ended up doing both. Freedom’s call cocked his head to the side, startled, and Amanda began to laugh harder. Suddenly Freedom took off running, leaving Amanda behind, and she watched as the most majestic animal she had ever had the privilege to meet, flew off across the field.
When Amanda reached her aunts house, there was a smile on her face that she couldn’t for the life of her wipe off. Right away her Aunt Martha noticed something different about her. Her face seemed almost to glow, and her eyes once dull and sad shone.
Guessing why she said “Ah, me and your mother knew it would be good for you to get out of that house, and it appears as if we were right. Why I can see a difference already.”
Amanda smiled a secret smile and turned to head up the stairs as her aunt called out to her about dinner, but Amanda was too caught up in that day’s adventure to really hear what her aunt was saying. For the rest of the day Amanda thought about the horse that had turned her life around. That had set her free from the shell she had locked herself in and reminded her of the sister who had taught her so much, mostly about life, love and friendship. Little did Amanda know Freedom’s Call had so much more to teach her about life, and that he would help her in ways she couldn’t begin to imagine. That night Amanda fell asleep with a small smile on her face and hope in her heart, all thanks to a wild horse. Who knew what the next day would bring?
Who cares what tomorrow brings, it does no good to worry about that now, I’ll find out what tomorrow brings when tomorrow comes. Amanda thought drowsily as she floated painlessly to sleep.