Hope, Love. Loneliness - Living with and for all three. |
She tried in vain to find at least one friend who wasn't out on a date. She couldn't find one at home. She began to cry wondering why she couldn't be out on a date too. What was wrong with her? She always tried to be nice and kind. Her mother kept telling her - what matters the most is what kind of person you are on the inside. But the she caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror. Average at best she thought. She had ordinary black hair, brown eyes and a smile that would not exactly stop traffic. Being nice, average and ordinary won't get you noticed - no matter how beautiful on the inside. You can have a heart of gold but unless it’s wrapped inside someone beautiful, it’s useless. She decided to go out for a walk in a nearby park. Everywhere she looked there were couples walking hand in hand. A feeling of such loneliness came over her. What she would not give to be one of the beautiful people. When would she be given a chance to share her heart. A heart that is aching to be given away. She came across a path she had never seen before. Something seemed to be pulling her to discover where it might lead. Maybe she could get lost. She decided to see where the path would lead. She walked about a half mile when she saw the most beautiful peacock cross her path. It didn't seem to be afraid of her, it didn't run away. She followed it to see where it was going. What she came upon, she could not believe. It was the most beautiful park she’d ever seen. It was as if it was hidden away from the rest of the world. Trees the brightest green with the most wonderfully scented lavender flowers hanging from them. The scent of the most beautiful roses of all colors imaginable filled the air. Just ahead of her was a small pond. In it, a beautiful swan was gliding ever so graciously across the water. It almost seemed as if she had walked into another world. This should not be here. It was like something out of a dream. How is it no one is here? How is it no one has found this place? She made her way to the pond. What her eyes gazed upon next took her breath away. The reflection in the pond brought her to her knees. It was the reflection of a beautiful girl. It was her but it wasn't her. The hair was a brilliant midnight black. Her eyes were a warm chestnut brown and the smile was brilliant and perfect. It was a reflection looking back at her that she always wished she could see in the mirror. But the reflection was more beautiful than she could ever dream of being. Tears began to fall. Now she was what she’s always wanted to be - beautiful. She tried to touch the reflection to see if it was real. She was startled when a hand reached out to stop her. When she looked up she found herself gazing at the most handsome man she’d ever seen as he knelt down and wiped away her tears. He was perfect in every way. His hair was a golden blonde, sparkling blue eyes and a smile that took her breath away. He was everything she has always pictured in her mind. An all american boy with a smile that would make your pulse race and your heart skip a beat. He stood up and offered her his hand. She accepted it and he helped her back to her feet. He offered her a beautiful yellow rose and then said to her words she could barely comprehend. He shook his head and said, “You can’t stay here.” He started to lead her out but she pulled her hand away, “Why? Why can't I stay?" “You don’t belong here.” She hung her head. Tears began to fill her eyes. Only true beauty belongs in a place like this. “No it's not for the reason you’re thinking.” She was a little surprised that he could read her thoughts. “This place. It's not real.” She looked back at the reflection in the pond, “It’s real enough for me.” She stood over the pond and gazed at the beautiful girl that looked back at her. To look like her is all she’s ever wanted. To be seen and noticed instead of ignored. To make men stop to take a second glance. To no longer feel such overwhelming loneliness. He stood beside her. The picture they created was that of a beautiful couple. He took her hand and led her to a park bench just a few feet from the pond. “That girl already exists in you.” She just rolled eyes at what he’d just said. She’s heard it all before. “Don’t tell me real beauty comes from within.” “But it’s true.” “Well, in the real world beauty on the outside is all that matters.” “Has anyone ever sent you flowers?” She knew the point he was trying to make, “Yes.” “When they’re beauty faded and they died what did you do with them?” She didn’t want to continue this conversation. She tried to leave the bench but he stopped her. He asked more forcefully this time, “What did you with them!” “I threw them away! Just the way I’m thrown away all the time.” Her tears started again. He let her stand and walk away from him. She stood beside a tall, magnificent tree just on the other side of the pond. He brought her the rose she’d left behind. “If it’s so much better out there, why don’t you leave?” “I can’t. I’ve stayed here so long if I do I’ll die. If I stay here I’m young and handsome forever. All the things I thought were important when I came here.” “Am I here for you?” she asked. “Yes” “Then why make me leave?” “Because I want a love that’s real. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?” “How am I supposed to find that when no one knows I exist.” “You have no idea why you’re so lonely do you?” “I do each time I look in a mirror” For the first time he raised his voice to her. “No!” She was bit startled and taken aback. “You have a heart with so much love to give and all it wants is to be given to someone.” His words broke her heart. He wiped her tears away again, “But you can’t just give a heart like yours to just anyone. It will take a man who holds the key. And with it he will unlock a love like none he’s ever known.” “But” He interrupted her before she could finish, “You have friends and a family that loves you, don’t you?” She just looked down at the ground. Tears streaming down her cheeks. “Don’t you?” She looked back up at him, “Yes.” “They love you for the person you are inside.” She gasped a laugh, “Friends and family are supposed to.” “No family has to. Friends don’t. Don't be so quick to give your heart away. It will know when it's right but you have to protect it. It could be in the eyes of someone you see passing by. It could be with someone you meet on the train. Or maybe someone offering you their hand." She walked back over to the pond once again. If she could just be that girl, just for one day she thought. He stood beside her, “Would that one day make you happy the rest of your life?” She forgot he could read her thoughts. She didn’t have an answer for him. “It’s time for you go back.” “If the other world is so much better than this one, even if it means dying, why do you stay?” “To keep those like you from making the same mistake I made. If you spend so much time chasing after what you think will make you happy, you could miss the one meant for you. It may not come when you want it to or in the form you expected. But it will come. Your heart just has to be open to receive it." He took her hand and led her back to the bench. He sat beside her and held her hand. He gently kissed it, “Close your eyes.” “Why?” “Just close them.” She took one more look around and she then did as he asked. From behind her she heard him whisper in her ear, “Okay. Open them.” When she opened her eyes she found herself back where she’d started. She was back in the park. She couldn’t believe she was back in her world again. It must have been a dream. She must have fallen asleep. She looked around and hung her head in disbelief. There at her feet was a rose. A perfect single yellow rose. She picked it up. She was startled when she heard someone shout her name. It was one of the many male “friends” she had. She never said she didn't have friends. None ever seemed to be interested in spending time alone with her or being more than just friends. This one she happened to have a little bit of a crush on but would never dare tell him. He wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but he was cute. He had dark, brown eyes, a smile that would melt any heart but he was also the nicest and sweetest guy you could ever hope to meet. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a date with that pretty girl you’ve been after.” “Yeah, I did. I took her home already.” “It’s a bit early isn’t it?” “Yeah, well you can’t talk too long with someone who’s dimmer than a one watt bulb.” She laughed because that’s what she thought of her too, “. " Well she's pretty. She doesn't have to be smart.” He sat down next to her. “Maybe not to most guys but it does to me. Looks aren’t everything you know.” "That's like a rich person saying having money isn't everything." He noticed the rose in her hand, “And just what have you been up to little missy?” She picked up on his assumption, “Nothing. I stole this from somebody's garden.” “Hey, you want to go catch a movie or something? Keep this night from being a total loss for me.” “Me?” “Yeah. Unless you already have plans.” She laughed at the very idea, “How about a round of miniature golf? If you can handle losing to a girl.” “See now you just had to go there. I would have you know that I am the national miniature golf champion." "Oh really? Then why haven't I heard of you?" "Well it's a very exclusive club. And we don't like to brag." "Good job." "I would have let you win." He stood up and followed that with "But now I’ll have to kick your ass.” She really laughed for the first time that evening. "Shall we?" as he extended and offered his hand to her. In the back of her mind she heard, "Or maybe someone offering you their hand." They walked to his car and maybe now she was finally beginning to understand. It’s what’s on the inside that matters most. Long after beauty fades it’s what remains. Would this lead to anything more than just two friends spending time together? I don't know. But I would leave my heart open and maybe love would find its way to it. Because in the end it's that love that will matter most. Not just to you but to those that matter the most to you. |