Wake Up - wip

CHAPTER 1

The gunshot was louder than I expected but I do not remember feeling pain. All I could feel for those last few seconds of life was that morbid trickle of warmth running down the side of my head. Then light surrounded me, blurred and faded to black. It was over.

Then alarm bells.

Alarm bells so loud that even on my deathbed I was forced to wince. My eyes opened and nothing was familiar anymore. I woke up in a daze. I was confused and disappointed. I was not dead. I was still alive.

But why?

The blur returned when I opened my eyes. My mouth felt dry and I could not speak. Not that there was anyone to speak to. All I could do was try to make out where I was through all the haze. The angles swerved and spun every time I tried to focus on them. Color mixed and darted from one side to the other and somehow glared at me. This visual palette threatened me as paint globs came forth in a motion to smite me. After a bit of this, I simply gave up and refused to focus on anything. It was simply too frightening… but then… everything cleared. I could see where I was and… I was not pleased.

A hospital. I survived my suicide attempt and was forced back to life in this goddamned hospital. It was dark in the room now. I was lying in a bed. The room seemed dark and gray, all the colors had abandoned me. Everything was so gloomy.

I should not be here. I should be dead. I wanted to escape life.

They won’t let me die. Why won’t they just let me die?

I tried to move but could find no strength to do so. Not that I really minded, for I had no reason to move. What could I possibly do? I was in a hospital, so saturated in its monochrome colors, pseudo-colors that removed the sense of hope of having a happy life after being resurrected again. I shut my eyes for a moment while a feeling of despair washed over me. I did not want to be alive and yet here I was… breathing, not only that but I was trapped as well. I tried to move but my body felt heavy and I had no energy to do so. Not like there was a reason to move, I guess…

What am I supposed to do now?

My body felt numb and I felt disconnected from everything. I did not want to be here. The gun failed me. The bullet failed me. Now, my body failed me… like everything else in my life did. I was so sick of it all and the whole world just kept reeling me in.

You cannot escape what terrorizes you.

It’ll keep pulling you back in. You try to run… but they’ll grab hold of your ankle and pull you back… and they’ll keep beating you. They always do.

I screamed without even realizing it. I screamed. I screamed as hard as I could and it felt like my whole body was crumbling. Nothing felt stable. I felt as if an “earthquake” ripped through my body.

I was disconnected. I didn’t just feel disconnected. I was disconnected.

I could see myself as if I were watching a movie. I’m the only one in the audience. The theater being an empty room with a screen. A single light shone down on where I stood. There were no seats. No doors. Just a dark room that haloed me in light. And the screen. The screen… The screen flashed like lightning and each time blackness vanished, I saw myself contorted in a different way. This happened about 17 times. I counted. It felt like an eternity. I watched myself suffer as an outside force.

The light or whatever that shone on me flickered a few times. And I heard the bulb buzz and hum. There was no sound to this movie I watched. I still couldn’t really move. I could turn my head and look around but I could not walk. I could not raise my hands.

I glanced down at the floor, uncomfortable at what I saw on the screen. I had no shadow. There was just a circle of light around me. I stood dead center. And then the hands… the hands moved… they came from the shadows and reached toward me… but I couldn’t scream there.

And just like that I was pulled back into the hospital bed. It felt like someone pushed me. The wind was knocked right of me. I couldn’t breathe. Oh God… I couldn’t breathe… my mouth was wide open like it was when I was screaming. But no sound came out. And I couldn’t breathe. I was choking on something. My arms felt like they were pinned down. I couldn’t move. Something was choking me.

I tried to fight back, tried to move my arm, move anything on my body but I failed and I failed miserably. My body refused to move but I knew I had to. If I were to remain still and let *it* win... I would die. I failed over and over again. I could not move. There was no winning.

I gave up.

Like I always do...

And it was over.

My life? No, not my life. The choking. The pressure. The... whatever it was that tried to kill me. It was gone. The minute I gave up on life... it gave up on trying to take it.

My lungs sucked in as much oxygen as they could. My chest heaved giant panic breaths. They spoiled themselves with the gift of air.

I could breathe again... Thank God...

I moved my arm with success this time and rested it on my stomach. I felt my torso move up and down as I breathed. I was relieved... terribly relieved.

But the room then became darker... and I could see the shadows again... they reached toward me with their threatening black fingers...

I tried to swat the hands away... but you cannot get rid of a shadow without lighting the whole room. I could feel cold hands wrap themselves around my neck again. I thought it was all over... but it wasn't. I was going to die for sure this time. I could feel pressure. My throat was being clamped down, not by an invisible force this time, but by the shadows that surrounded me. My hands instinctively tried to claw at the shadows but instead made their attack on the skin of my neck.

I couldn't breathe again. My sight blurred... and I began to lose consciousness... I died...

And then, the scene changed again...

I’m back in the theater. It happened so fast. Just what the hell is going on? Why am I back here? I’m supposed to dead. I was choked to death by… something. I’m supposed to be dead. The screen. It’s still there. Still on. I’m dead onscreen. But what am I doing here? Why do I still exist? My body was still on the screen. Pale. My lips dark. My eyes wide open. I look scary. That’s really the only way I could describe myself. Scary. Scary and dead.

What the hell is supposed to happen now?

Am I supposed to spend my time staring at my dead and rotting corpse? I’m dead… why won’t it just end like I want it to? Why? Oh my God…

I stared at my corpse, noticing that it had become disturbed when I thought the words “rotting corpse”. My body moved as if there were something inside of it. My skin color… it started to change into a sickly green color. My body was slowly shriveling up and I saw liquid pour out from my visible orifices. Oh my God… am I rotting? I don’t want to watch this! But I can’t turn away. My body is immovable. A mannequin in a window display… I felt pressure in my gut and I wanted to throw up. But I stood still. And I watched. I watched myself crumble and implode. My skin darkening… changing… caving into itself… I don’t want to see this. Please, make it stop… Oh my God… no… I could smell it. I could smell myself rot.

That was all I could take. My immovable body was finally able to lurch forward. I was a statue no more.

I threw up.

A stream of vomit exited through my mouth and painted the screen. And I couldn’t stop throwing up. I emptied the contents of my stomach on the screen and finally collapsed.

The smell of death had faded away… The movie clicked and stopped. The part of the screen that wasn’t covered in my vomit was black. The movie ended. My body had decayed and it was over.

Relief. Relief washes over me.

I was on the ground, breathing hard… breathing fast… I tried to get my bearings. I glanced around and lifted up my hands. I stared at them… the skin dried and cracked.

I could freely move again.

I stood up and looked around me. My legs felt weak. Like noodles. Like an upright straw holding the weight of a thousand stones. My body felt heavy even after losing a lot of… weight. There was a single closed door on the opposite wall from the screen. The projector, which was off now, made its home in the middle of the dark room. That door was the only way out of the room. I slowly walked towards it and began to realize just how cold I was. Scared and cold.

I stopped about a foot away from the door and just stared at it. I didn’t know what lay beyond this door… but I knew… I just knew that I had to walk through it.

I wanted to get out of this nightmare. I wanted it all to be over.

I placed my hand on the doorknob and shivered after feeling its cold metal surface.

I hesitated for a second and finally gave it a turn. I pushed the door open…


CHAPTER 2

Snow... There was snow everywhere. Tiny crystal shards twinkled in the light and drifted slowly, zigzagging to the ground. There was nothing but snow.

---STILL IN THE WORKS---