Head below water

Whisps of smoke around my head
And water below my feet
Darkness all around
Only blood can make it complete
I hear it screaming
Coursing through my veins
Begging to be freed
Spilling out my bane
I write to try and subside
As my hands start to twitch
I begin to shake again
While my skin contunues to itch
I know I should try to fight it
But I'm battling a losing war
Eventually it will find its way out
And I will give in once more
It's such a persuasive little urge
It knows just what to say
It sees inside my heart and soul
It gets in my mind that way
It feeds upon my deepest fears
And then serves them back to me
I've failed at life, I killed my mom
And I followed micheal willingly
I'm a drama queen, I bitch and moan
I'm the cause of all my scars
I half-ass everything I do
How could I have fallen this far?
I had the right idea tonight
When I went inside dad's drawer
The steel felt cold against my head
What the fuck did I hesitate for?
If I hadn't, I never would have heard
The phone begin to ring
In a flash, the moment was gone
I felt better just by talking
I had to go and be reminded
That I had shit to live for
I guess it's better in the end
But there's still blood pooling on the floor Bit by bit
My heart's torn away
Just how much of it still remains?
It's a question for another day
Listen closely now
It's whispering again
Soon it'll scream
It's begging for an end
The world will be
Better off without you
And the few that will cry
Eventually, they forget too
Give it a month
It will have blown over
"leave it to a senior"
"too bad I didnt know her"
"she wasn't any more
Depressed than usual"
My mind is weighed down
And my heart is full
Am I really so nieve
That I think I could cope
I should give them what they want
For I have no more hope
They were right all along
I'm a waste of good breath
I'm an alcoholic failure
My only future is death
My writing is average
Mother would be disappointed
Why can't I be just like Amy
Her sanity isn't disjointed
So here I go again
It's washing over me
I slip into oblivion
My veins have broken free
I cringe at the sight
Of the gash in my wrist
At this point, I dont care
Whether or not I'm missed
The crimson colored tears
That bring my demise
They mix with the water
Bleeding from my eyes
I try to stay awake
But I'm slipping so fast
Too late to turn back now
My life has just passed.