You're Not God's Gift

You’re Not Gods Gift


I may be a little overweight, it’s true
And sometimes I don’t fold your socks the way you want me to.
Our house may be a mess,
Of this I can confess,
But baby, you’re not Gods gift either.

My hair may be a little out of place
You sit there and you scrutinize each wrinkle on my face
And just the other day I burned your steak and had to pay,
But darling, you’re not God’s gift either.

Just look at your nose,
I hate your style of clothes,
Your loving leaves a lot to be desired.
Your mouth stays open when you eat,
You pee around the toilet seat
And thanks to Bud you have a big spare tire!

Some woman called today and asked if you were home
So surprised, when I answered, she hung up the phone.
Now you say our love life’s lacking, and that’s the reason
You’re tom cattin’. I don’t buy that,
You’re not God’s gift either.

You’re missing several teeth,
I hate your smelly feet,
Your snoring keeps me up, so I’m always tired.
I wonder where you get the nerve
To say it’s you I don’t deserve
If good sense were your boss he’d have you fired!

You say I’m not as pretty as I used to be.
And anywhere but in my arms is where you want to be.
If you dropped dead tonight,
I couldn’t bring myself to cry,
Cause Honey, you’re not God’s gift either.

No sugar, you’re not God’s… gift… either….