The Sum Is Loss

Where am I?
I'm on the ground
I'm the one with her head in her hands
or maybe
I'm the one pulling her hair out
Sometimes I fear
Sometimes I dread
That I am not all that I should be
The total is failure
The sum is loss
I'm told to keep playing
To keep betting
But who will prop me up?
Who will give me the chance?
I have already judged
I have already mused
The writing on the wall says
"You do not measure up"
"You are not worthy"
So I go back
and hide my head in my hands