Comedy: December 25, 2019 Issue [#9926]
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Comedy


 This week: All is calm, all is bright, Unless...
  Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

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Hello folks, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah. May you be celebrating joyously!



Word from our sponsor



Letter from the editor


I realize that I’m probably one of a few people reading this newsletter because of the holidays, but it will be here, in the archives, for you whenever the urge hits.

Thanksgiving came later this year but our community couldn’t wait to get their decorations up and glowing before the holiday could be celebrated as a free-standing holiday on its own. Not to be the neighborhood Scrooge, we also cheated a little on decorating. “Martha” my sturdy old fake tree got dragged from the closet several days before Thanksgiving. I didn’t host the feast this year, it was another friend’s time to have it at her home. Thus, nobody could see the tree was already standing while digging into the turkey. *Smirk* I made some side-dishes and dessert to go along with Thanksgiving meal. It was a wonderful evening with dear friends in the community.

Martha, Ms. Stewart’s signature fake fir has served my decorating-taste well for several years. However, in the last few years, Martha became drab, dull, lacking freshness -- well, as fresh as fake can give you. I tired of the colored LED lights that were pre-wired with the tree. A couple years ago, I started threading clear lights throughout the tree and stopped connecting the pre-wired lights. That gave it a little face-lift for that season. Last year, I purchased new bulbs and ornaments to boost its attractiveness. That was fun and did yield a more modern looking tree rather than one stuck in a closet for most of the eight years in Florida. This year, as Martha stood before me plugged-in, I noticed a string of lights weren’t working and with switching lights and plugs around, the bottom third of the tree’s colored lights came to life. *Shock2*

Try as we may, neither WL or I could by-pass the colored lights to keep a uniform clear-lights only tree. Since Thanksgiving needed my attention in the kitchen so my side-dishes would be planned, ingredients bought and finally stuck together in a manner that would be edible. I decided to put off messing with Martha until after that holiday passed.

By the start of December I had a big decision to make about the Southern Command Center, my Florida “tin can,” what I lovingly call the mobile home. The Mobile Home park’s corporation decided they didn’t want “unit-renters” anymore and were not renewing leases once they expired. Should I stay or should I go? I thought of all the pros and cons of leaving versus buying and staying. Needless to say, December started turning into a stressful month. Christmas still lay ahead, and “Martha” still stood with colored lights on the bottom and clear lights on top. I mean, what would be the point? If I decided not to take the “tin-can” ownership plunge, that old fake fir would be tossed into the recycling bin shortly after Christmas. No way would I drag that tree up North where the real trees are fresh and huge waiting in some overgrown tree farm awaiting a home for the holidays. The hunt would begin, a sawing, a dragging and a tossing on top of Ruby’s roof to take home to the Money Pit.

My December in a nutshell!
(Reminiscent of the famous Christmas song,12 Days of Christmas) Albeit, very loosely based rhythm. *Rolleyes*

On the first day of Christmas -- Management gave to we ... option to buy a tin can.
On the second day of Christmas -- Office asked about pending repairs.
On the third day of Christmas -- Repairs done on current work order.
On the fourth day of Christmas -- Erosion protection on lake-side.
On the fifth day of Christmas *Right* Bought the Tin Can! *Left**House*
On the sixth day of Christmas -- Construction equipment appeared.
On the seventh day of Christmas ... Dropped heavy stones on bank.
On the eight day of Christmas -- Pulled-up rotted boat launch
On the ninth day of Christmas ... They dumped it on the lawn!
On the tenth day of Christmas -- The closing on this tin can. *Bigsmile*
On the eleventh day of Christmas -- Told rotted ramp would be removed.
On the twelfth day of Christmas ... Martha’s lights still unchanged (Since Thanksgiving!) *Laugh*



Oh the drama of holiday comedy, folks!

I may attach some before and after pictures of the no longer corporate owned home, in future newsletters. Until then, peace, love, and, enjoy a bright and shiny New Year!




This is one of my new sigs





Editor's Picks

 
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Dear Santa Open in new Window. (13+)
I don't need no stinking reindeer . . . .
#788035 by W.D.Wilcox Author IconMail Icon


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#2208145 by Not Available.


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Dear Friends Open in new Window. (E)
Fictional holiday newsletter from the Calamity Family
#2143628 by LJ hiding under the bed Author IconMail Icon


 
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Christmas Is Over / 141 Words Open in new Window. (E)
An entry for the Monthly Poetry Contest
#2107430 by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon


The Christmas Spirits Open in new Window. (18+)
Some rough patches on the way to Christmas cheer
#1363999 by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas Author IconMail Icon


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This item number is not valid.
#2106930 by Not Available.

 
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Ask & Answer

willwilcox

Hot Tub Turkey? I always do that! Once I went to get the bird and it was propped up in the corner drinking a glass of wine.*Whistle*

*Laugh**Laugh* A boozing bird is a total waste of wine. I would have cried fowl! *Chicken*.

Thanks, Bill!



Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon

Thawing the the turkey in the Jacuzzi was a creative and brave solution to the problem. The bravest thing I've ever done on Thanksgiving was to cook a twenty pound turkey in a microwave (my regular oven wasn't working). I carved the raw turkey into smaller portions, and cooked them--one at a time--in the microwave. It worked and everyone at the Thanksgiving feast survived.

Wow! Now there's a quick solution to a big-turkey issue. Good thing you decided to slice and dice before microwaving. It saves time and assures it's cooked to the bone! I'm so happy everyone survived!!! *Laugh*

P.S. I hope you had a simply marvelous Christmas Eve birthday, Snow! *CakeB*



Thank you for your feedback, folks!

See you next month.

Happy New decade & a Happy New Year!!!

*Witch*


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