 Drama: August 28, 2019 Issue [#9733] |
This week: On Friendship and Introverts Edited by: NaNoKit  
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Friendship doesn't always come easy, and can be difficult to maintain. This is especially the case if you're introverted, or socially awkward, like I am. And socially awkward people don't often see themselves reflected in fiction - at least not as heroes or heroines.
This week's Drama Newsletter then, is all about friendship and character diversity.
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It’s not a nice thing to have to admit, but I am not very good at making friends, and even worse at keeping them. When I was a child, it was pretty straightforward. You see the same kids every day at school and you play together, have lots in common, so it’s natural for friendships to form and they’re easy to maintain. After leaving primary school, though, I saw one of my friends a couple of times and that was it. We were leading different lives. The same happened after leaving high school. And it’s the same with people I’ve gotten to know through work projects – all perfectly nice people who, for some reason or other, I don’t manage to keep in touch with. Adult friendships are hard work!
Perhaps I am just a horrible person. I don’t mean to slip away. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I can think the absolute world of someone and still end up in my little bubble, away from the world and anyone in it for however long it takes to poke my head back out. By which time most people are fed up, especially if they’ve gone through this with me again, and again, and again. If I didn’t have someone living with me and some very persistent family, I’d probably be a hermit.
Friendship as it is often portrayed in novels and movies feels like an alien concept to me. The characters are such big parts of each other’s lives, and it seems so natural to them, as though it takes no energy at all to keep it going. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have that closeness, but I’ve got to be realistic – that’s not me. And I know that some portrayals of friendships aren’t like real life. At least, I can’t imagine a friendship group like the one in the TV series Friends actually existing, with people barging into each other’s homes and taking food from each other’s fridge in the middle of the night and them basically being together every single day... My fiancé and I have more alone time than that! (As a side note, I’ve seen people pondering about how the characters can afford such big apartments and really?  Those places are tiny!)
Perhaps it’s difficult for me to find a fictional character I can relate to because an introverted, unsociable person makes for an unlikely heroine. I’m like a Sheldon Cooper without the brilliance, dragged into social situations in which I often end up feeling awkward and out of place. I’d be a terrible character in most stories – I wouldn’t go check out what that sound was outside. I often have the landline unplugged and forget to switch on my cell phone, so questionable characters can’t ring me. No wizard is going to drag me out of my home and take me on a grand adventure. A thousand ships will not be launched in honour of my face. And I’d be completely useless in a zombie apocalypse, unless I can philosophise the zombies to sleep. I’m really selling myself here, aren’t I? It’s no wonder I definitely don’t rock job interviews. 
If someone like me were a fictional character, their story development would likely involve them being dragged out of their shell. They’d switch on their phone. They’d begin to see the merits of stable, long-term friendships. They’d have cookies in their cupboard and pie in their fridge (or chicken legs seem to be a popular choice) and proclaim their joy at now knowing and living what they have missed out on their entire life. It’d have to be like that, wouldn’t it? I wouldn't be the heroine. I'd be the side-character rescued by the heroine.
It would take a skilled author to turn an introvert into a hero, especially when the loner’s a woman and the Clint Eastwood Western is likely to be a thing of the past. If you can do it, though, I salute you. It’s always nice to discover characters you can relate to. The greater the character diversity out there, the better.
Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
NaNoKit
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