 Romance/Love: August 21, 2019 Issue [#9723] |
This week: Meet the Parents Edited by: Dawn Embers  
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Romance/Love Newsletter by Dawn
Looking at the role of parents and when the love interest has to meet them. |
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There are some days at work when there happens to be a little down time and some of the coworkers get chatty. Two in particular are young and in relationships, so there ends up being a bit of girl talk with how things are going. The recent conversations have included questions of when the boys are going to meet their parents. As I often take whatever is happening in real life and view it through how it can be used in a story (as many writers do naturally), it made me consider a number of my romance stories and when/if there is a situation that involves the classic meet the parent bit of story. There are a few particular aspects that come to mind, not just the comedic options like the movie Meet the Parents.
General Expectations
Thanks to aspects such as the movies and generalized expectations that get passed down through the masses, there are some general thoughts that come to mind over dating. In some ways, we expect there to be a particular point when a love interest is supposed to meet the family/parents. It's in the movies, we talk about it with our friends or just people that happen to be nearby on a regular basis. Some make it a big deal and others shrug it off, but that expectation is there. A time often will come when the question is "when are they meeting the parents?" The answer isn't in particular specific because other elements will effect the decisions, but the question itself is there when getting that relationship status. It probably happens in many stories, but whether that scene gets written or not is a whole different issue. There are a couple of more specific elements for approach the timing, however, if considering when to have a parent meeting in your romance story.
Cultural
Some particular cultures are going to have exact expectations as to when a potential love interest or partner must be brought home for an official meeting. Granted a few will already know since they have a bigger hand in the decision of who the character dates (think arranged relationships for example). Others, however, may be influenced by how their culture is set up and the particular views that element brings to dating, relationships and family.
Personal Tradition
This can be with the individual or on the particular family. Some parents may want to meet the person in question very very soon, before or even on the first date. They have have known the love interest and been involved in the set-up, which will make an official meeting not necessary. However, there might be a parental unit or two that hesitates or delays when it comes to the meeting of a potential partner. There might be previous experiences that affect the desire, not wanting to get attached to anyone if there is uncertainty to the longevity of the relationship. They may have a personal preference or tradition as to how far along it is needed for a meeting to occur. There are plenty of reasons, it just depends on the characters and how you write them.
Of course, there are some who will not have parents. In that case, there probably won't be an official meeting. Though a set up by a grave can have an emotional affect on the situation if such is necessary within the character's story. If parents aren't involved or no longer on the same physical level of existence, then a meeting won't be needed. However, if there is the chance, even if it doesn't end up in the final product, you could try to write a scene or two where one has to meet the parents. Will give you a feel on not only the main characters, but their relationship and the family that may have influences on how they approach different element within the story. |
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Do your characters have to meet the parents (or family) of their love interest?
At the beginning of July, I wrote about the spark in romance. Here is a comment sent in over that particular topic:
Comment by Beholden  :
I don't write "Romance" but, on those rare occasions when I have to write about love, I find the most effective way is to be direct and simple in describing it. The more we attempt to elaborate to get the reader to feel what we feel, the more we begin to sound like a Hallmark card.
Take fireworks, for instance. Honestly now, who sees fireworks on meeting "the one"? Either I'm completely different from everyone else on earth or we don't really see fireworks. And I doubt very much that any of us knows what is going on in us when it happens. Which is what makes it so difficult to describe, of course.
The best thing is to fall back on actions. I'm told they speak louder than words anyway.
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